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WELL VERSED
My cousin Cate jokes about Inappropriate Movie Night which she's ended up at more than once, taking her young daughter along to a film that turned out to be...more adult than she had bargained for. Anders and I have accidentally had the same thing happen to us more than once ourselves, getting all excited about showing an old film for a Friday night family myskväll that we remember as being great (and that usually WAS great), but which turns out to be...more adult than we remembered. A Fish Called Wanda, for example, which both my kids still cite as a reminder of our poor taste in choosing family films.

The other day, I was singing the Suffocation Song out loud to myself. It was stuck in my head for some reason. Do you know this song? If I had gone to summer camp as a child I might be able to blame it on that, but since I only went to day camp a few times and the one I remember most vividly was in Europe (Mom, help me out here...where the heck did we go to day camp?), and I don't think day camp counselors would be teaching their young charges The Suffocation Song, I doubt that's where I got it from.

It's just one of those silly songs that you absorb at some point during childhood. They usually have multiple variants of verses and this one is no exception based on a couple of minutes spent googling. The version I learned only has 2 verses (that I remember, anyway) and goes:

Suffocation, suffa-suffocation, suffocation, show you how to play
First you take a rubber hose, then you stick it up your nose
Leave it there, I don't care, whoa oh oh oh!

Suffocation, suffa-suffocation, suffocaton, show you how to play
First you take a plastic bag, then you stick it on your head
Leave it there, I don't care, whoa oh oh oh!


Etcetera. The tune is aggravatingly earwormy and I find myself humming it at odd moments and have, all my life. But when I sang it in front of my kids the first time, they both turned to me with shocked faces and said "WHAT?"

"What?!" I answered, disarmingly. "It's a TEACHING SONG." Don't be sticking bags on your head, you young'uns!

I taught them all the words to Great Green Gobs of Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts too, when they were small. It has the delightfully naughty part about the devil "chewing on his underwear" that never failed to get a giggle. It's another one that everyone seems to have learned different words & variants to. I've also repeatedly sung Jaws, a Mouth, a Great Big Mouth to the tune of Do, A Deer, A Female Deer that has satisfyingly gory bits and a dramatic ending:

Jaws - A mouth, a great big mouth!
Teeth - those things that kind of crunch!
Chomp - the way sharks say hello!
Us - his favorite quickie lunch!
Blood - which turns the ocean red
Gulp - which means a shark's been fed
Splash - which makes a swimmer pause...
Which will bring us back to Jaws Jaws Jaws Jaws...(repeat endlessly)


There's another inappropriate song I've sung around my kids, though it's less of a song and more of a...rhyme. I don't remember where I learned it either, though I think it was probably in junior high at some point. It seems about that level. It goes:

Regurgitate, regurgitate, throw up all the food you ate! VOMIT VOMIT barf, bleaaaaaaah!

Trust me when I say that you really don't want to google "regurgitate song"...but I did find the particular version that I know listed as THE VOMIT CHEER. So maybe it was something we yelled at sporting events? Although, I've never been to any sort of eating contests, which would seem more appropriate.

Got any other inappropriate goodies in your childhood memory vault of silly songs?
 silly
mood: silly
music: Minor Majority—Supergirl


Comments

Love the Jaws, a Mouth, a Great Big Mouth song! :D

I must have learned that in 6th grade, which was when Jaws came out (I read the book, but wasn't allowed to see the movie). *totally dating myself*

(Anonymous)

Nobody likes me everybody hates me I'm going to go eat worms - the worms crawl in the worms crawl out ... etc. etc. etc!

-Heather

This is so great! I sing that one to my kids too sometimes, (the first part) anyway. haha!

I can blame learning all forms of inappropriateness, including dead baby jokes, on my elder sister. Here are two songs:

Jingle bells
Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
The bat-mobile lost a wheel
And the commissioner ran away
........
Happy birthday to you
You live in a zoo
You smell like a monkey
And you look like one too!

Hee! I sing both of those, too., though I learned it as "Joker got away". :D

From Megsie

Inappropriate songs are the best! We had MANY from Camp Fire Girls, and I have dutifully taught them to my Girl Scout Troop. Here is one that is short enough to share (sung to the battle of the republic, I think, please correct me if that is not the right song!)

Pink Pajamas

I wear my pink pajamas in the summer when its hot
And I wear my flannel nightie in the winter when its not
But sometimes in the springtime
And sometimes in the fall
I jump between the sheets with nothing on at all

Glory! Glory! What's it to ya?
Glory! Glory! What's it to ya?
Glory! Glory! What's it to ya?
If I jump between the sheets with nothing on at all?

My favorite silly song was the Titanic which is very long and very inappropriate. I wish I could have you over to teach it to you, and my husband would be THRILLED that I was spreading this song all over the world!

Re: From Megsie

LOL! I know that song! My friend Becky taught it to me in junior high. I shall have to sing it for the kids :D

And you must send me the lyrics to the Titanic song, it sounds hilarious. :D

Re: From Megsie

I found the lyrics and several YouTube videos of people singing it online...I don't think I've ever heard it before. So bad and so funny!

(Anonymous)

We learned "Suffocation" in Girl Scouts, when we were eleven. I remember being shocked when I finally realized what I was singing (it didn't stop me from singing it though, what an earwormy song). "The Ship Titanic" was another favorite. One of the refrains:

Uncles and aunts
Little children lost their pants
it was sad when that great ship went down.

julia@kolo

There is another refrain that we sang:

Husbands and wives
Little children lost their lives
it was sad when the great ship went down.

We were ruthless, we were.

I only remember "On Top of Spaghetti" and "Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah".

I wouldn't call those inappropriate, though. Just great kid's songs! :)

There's always the Battle Hymn of the Republic.

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the closing of the school
We have tortured all the teachers and we've disobeyed the rules
We have burned up all the textbooks and we've hung the prinicipal
Our truth is marching on.

Glory, glory hallelujah!
Teacher hit me with a ruler (sung so as to rhyme with hallelujah)
Bopped her on the butt
With a rotten coconut
The truth is marching on!

I came across this link while trying to verify my version of those lyrics (they didn't quite match mine). http://www.playgroundjungle.com/

LOL! I knew the first verse but not the second one. Hilarious! :D

I remember this one! Words a little different though. No coconut.

I hate Bosco, Bosco is so bad,
My mommy put it in my milk to try to poison me.
I fooled mommy, I put it in her tea.
Now I have no more mommy to try to poison me!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream.
Push your teacher overboard and listen to her scream.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mud Mud, glorious mud, mud, mud
Nothing quite like it for soothing the blood.
So follow me, follow
Down to the hollow
And there we will wallow
In glorious Mud!

I knew the middle one. What the heck is Bosco?

Early Hershey's chocolate sauce! I've never heard of this stuff. :D

It dates me, that I recognize the jar!

swedish stuff!

not a song, but an old rhyme, in swedish:

tre trappor upp
dörren till vänster, sparkar vi upp
ut kommer hitler, spottar och svär
efter kommer gumman med laddat gevär

why we thought this was so funny in the school yard, i don't know! but it jumped up, just like that, when i read this post.

also, sealwhiskers and i made a variation of the traditional swedish christmas song "det strålar en stjärna" that stuck better than it should have:

det brinner en hjärna
i mikrovågsugn
den hjärnan ska snart explodera
då blir den kremerad, friterad och stekt
är det nån som vill ha lite mera?

Re: swedish stuff!

That last one made me laugh out loud!

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