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SUBZURRRRO
The trees have got their bling on again. Snow-sparkle ephemeral diamond gorgeousness. Yesterday, when I drove home the fog was so dense it was BLACK. Have you ever driven through black fog? It was creepy as all get-out. It was only when other car's lights hit it that I could see the whiteness. It's been FURRRREEZING this whole week, in the minus teens celsius. Then I drove Karin to soccer practice...outdoors. -11 degrees celsius, fog so thick they couldn't see halfway across the field and still, an hour and a half practice on snow-covered (unswept) artificial grass. CURRRRAZY.

I'm adding the URRRR as in BRRRR.


Hoary birches (make sure you read that right, haha!)

So much for the never-mentioned, mental-only resolution to write more often. I just looked up and dammit if another week hasn't gone by while I was working my ass off at work, working on projects at home, being REALLY grumpy and PMS-y but managing to keep most of the ranting to myself (cue husband snorting in disbelief, also children rolling eyes). If they think it was bad, they really have NO idea of what was actually going on in my head. Restraint, par excellence, I swear.

Work is INSANE. Add that to the grump, times it up by 10 and it makes for a VERY GURRRRUMPY lizardek. I keep trying to shake it but the only thing that will get it off my back, I suspect, is time. Either that, or another vacation. The problem with vacations is, while I'm getting my relax on, things are piling up back there at the office, which just stresses me out even more thinking about it. Argh. Gah.

Was having a very very selfish flash earlier this week. Did not want to come home and have to cook for anyone else or do laundry for anyone else or clean up after anyone else or even TALK to anyone else. I needed a hole to crawl into and growl for awhile. I still need it, on reserve. Do you ever feel like that or is it just me?

It's FURRRREEZING in the house right now. The furnace is out of whack and the only way to adjust it is to get down on the floor, behind the laundry room door, nearly flat, and reach your hand in between burning hot pipes and stuff and turn some knob that I can't even see. Yeah, that ain't happening. Anders is gone skiing tonight (in below -13.5 celsius weather, what is it with these Swedes??) so I can't ask him to fix it and Karin refuses to do it because she burned her hand last time.

Did I tell you we are paying double electric bills right now? We are paying for what we are using right now AND we are paying for electricity that we used in 2010 but were never billed for. If there wasn't a law stating that if a company has forgotten to bill you longer than 3 years ago, we would ALSO be paying for electricity that we used in 2009 but were never billed for, but thankfully there IS such a law. But still, it means double electric bills right now, so there's just another incentive NOT to turn the heat up, even though it is, as mentioned REALLY REALLY COLD. There's a draft on my ankles. My fingers are aching, but I type on; that's how dedicated I am. THAT'S how much I love you.

I'm reading, appropriately, an excellent book with a snow theme. The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey. It's really, really good and I can't figure out how it's going to end, which is ratcheting up my anxiety about the characters and also chilling my fingers into immobility because I have to hold the book outside the covers in order to get the light on the page.

I think I'll go microwave my dinkel-pillow and take it to bed with me, along with my mukluk slippers. Arctic! BRRRRR!
 cold
mood: cold
music: Mariha—Heart Keeps Beating


Comments
(Anonymous)
From Megsie

Oh, my gosh Liz! I laughed out loud through this whole post! Hoary Birches?! Ha! And you are NOT the only one who needs a hole to crawl into on reserve. You made my whole day today entertaining me with this post. I am sorry you are so swamped at work, I hear you. (I say, as I am ignoring my work right now.) And I think it is so funny that you are in -11 C, when I am wishing for 20 F. That is one degree difference isn't it? It is better today, and it is snowing, but not enough to cover the brown patches that are showing from last week's heat wave.

I hope you warm up soon! May your dinkel pillow do the trick!

Sending you a warm hug from a similar climate. xoxo

Re: From Megsie

I'm so glad! I entertained myself while writing it so I got something good out of it, eh? Amusing you and my other readers is just a bonus!

I'll have to learn your grumpy restraint techniques from you.

Bite your tongue until it bleeds :P

I had a grumpy session a couple months back when work was at a 15 on the 1-10 stress scale. I went home and told my family, "I'm sorry, I'm grumpy and I don't want to talk about it. I'm going to eat some dinner, change into jammies, and go read in bed. I'll talk to you tomorrow." At first they wanted to ask me about it and make sure I was really going off to my room, but then they were very understanding and gave me some space to just be alone and get over everything.

Of course, living where I do, we cancel school when there's so much as a dusting of snow. There's no way you would see anyone around here practicing soccer outdoors in -11 c weather. Americans just don't love soccer that much!

I could probably get away with that as well, at least now and then, but sometimes you just have to suck it up and get things done.

"Did not want to come home and have to cook for anyone else or do laundry for anyone else or clean up after anyone else or even TALK to anyone else. I needed a hole to crawl into and growl for awhile."

I feel like this every day. Every.Day. Many days, I don't even want to cook for myself. I thought that was normal, no? ;-) The other day I was channeling Garbo. "I want to be alone." It worked for the car ride up to the office then there were more people I had to contend with. I blame winter. We really ought to be allowed to hibernate.

Edited at 2013-01-17 01:18 am (UTC)

Every day? EEP. I would skip town if I felt like this every day. Luckily, it too shall pass.

I did tell G last night that I want to run away from home. If I could afford to go anywhere, I'd probably already have done it. I don't expect I'd be welcomed home too warmly though! ;-p

OK, several things Liz...(Hoary Birches)

"Was having a very very selfish flash earlier this week. Did not want to come home and have to cook for anyone else or do laundry for anyone else or clean up after anyone else or even TALK to anyone else. I needed a hole to crawl into and growl for awhile. I still need it, on reserve. Do you ever feel like that or is it just me?"

OF COURSE WE ALL FEEL LIKE THAT!!! And Liz, it is not selfish. You probably really do need a day to yourself, or a massage(!!), or someone else to cook the dinner and some quiet reading time! Or a warmer house right now. Say what? Right?!

Man I thought it was cold here at our measly minus 2 at night and low to mid single digits during the day. Ouch. You've made me feel so much better, and warmer.
But you've got the beauty going on with it. (Hoary Birches) Oops, I almost typed and definitely thought 'Hoary" Bitches'. And that is entirely the fault of Loudan Wainright III, who I saw in concert last night. He was hilarious. And Great. And sang about Bitches. But not whore-y Hoary ones.

Back to you, your post.

What!?! The electric company forgot to bill you? Paying now is totally your fault. You should have moved, right? Get out of Dodge before they get you. Just saying.
But no, really? They FORGOT to bill you. And NOW they want their money? So weird. It should come out of the pockets of the human that forgot to send the bill and the human that hired them. Oh, I'm feeling ruthless this morning.
Cold, with my fingers sticking out of fingerless gloves to type and grumpy because after weeks of not sleeping well I was sleeping well and the PHONE RANG. And now I cannot get back to sleep. And also, Loudan Wainright again, singing last night irreverently about his life, his dog, and social issues. I know he would write a song about the electric company if that had happened to him.

Please get fingerless gloves, or cut the fingers off some old or cheap gloves. Your fingers will still ache when typing in the cold, but they will ache less and the hand and wrist attached to your fingers might not ache. Believe me, I am so happy for my fingerless gloves right now. I wish I had a nose glove. My nose is freezing.

Oh, "The Snow Child" looks great. I need book recommendations. Somehow I have been reading a lot less than I usually do, less than I want to. I don't know how that happened (moving &online tv).

I just put an online hold on "The Snow Child" at the library. There are 19 people ahead of me, and only one copy, so it will be a while. Today I am finally taking some time to read and will read Brain on Fire, My Month of Madness by Susannah Cahalan.

What is a dinkel pillow? Sounds tawdry to me....

haha! A dinkel pillow is just a pillow filled with dinkel seeds (it's a kind of grain or wheat, and I'm not sure if it has the same name in English, actually or if I'm translating literally). You can heat it up in the microwave and use it as a heating pad: lovely. My sister-in-law made it for me.

I have read lots of really great books in the past couple of months. Want a list?

Yes, I do want a list.

The Age of Miracles by Karen Thompson Walker
The Hare with Amber Eyes by Edmund de Waal
The Ghost's Child by Sonya Hartnett
City of Thieves by David Benioff
The Vanishing Act by Mette Jakobsen
Sarah Canary by Karen Joy Fowler
The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window & Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson
Mr Fox by Helen Oyeyemi
Caleb's Crossing by Geraldine Brookes
Backseat Saints by Joshilyn Jackson
Carry the One by Carol Anshaw
Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand

Thanks Liz!!

(Anonymous)

I didn't remember that name- I love mine from Simone too! I forgot about using it to just warm up! Love, lizardmom

(Anonymous)
From Willow

Oh Liz, this is such a good-humored take on a lot of chilly grumpiness! Nothing like cold plus PMS to really make you uncomfortable - and that cold is truly beyond anything I can imagine. It's very cold here right now, but reading this I realize I can't complain!

The other thing I thought as I read this is that maybe you need some quiet time. Since reading Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking a few months ago, I can't stop thinking about what it means to need quiet, alone time. And how hard those are to come by, with children, obligations. And it's not like a walk is very inviting in that cold. But maybe some quiet, alone time would be rejuvenating - perhaps writing or reading time over a warm drink in your favorite cafe?

Re: From Willow

Quiet time achieved...to a certain extent. Had a bad cold all weekend so slept in like a true slug today.

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