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MILLION-DOLLAR IDEA (emphasis on the ILL)
Still haven't been feeling up to snuff this week and yesterday I woke with a bad headache on top of the sort-of head cold that won't go away, and an earache that had started the night before and caused me to sleep poorly, so I stayed home from work. I worked today but I definitely still feel sub-par. How many times can you blow your nose before there's nothing left but a large seeping hole in your face? Honestly.

One of my colleagues said, when she saw me in the office, "You don't look sick at all!"

"Ha!" I groused. "That's because you can't see the inside of my head."

And I thought, that always happens. People can't TELL you're sick when you have a cold or a flu or a fever, until you've wasted away or you've been bedridden without a shower for days. It's not fair. You feel like shit but if you've bothered to put on your make-up and come into the office to fulfill your obligations, no one gives you any sympathy because you don't look like you need it.

Well! I've come up with a solution! Since there's no way, bar genetic tinkering, to have our faces SHOW what we're sick with, what about a lovely little sticker set? You could just slap the one that defines whatever your illness is on to your cheek, and voila! Instant sympathy for the ill.

Blue for colds, green for stomach flu, red for fever, grey for sore throat. Maybe light brown and dark brown for diarrhea and constipation...the possibilities are endless (and perhaps, a bit disgusting). It would be just as effective as the ribbons for the various types of cancer (though you can wear those in SUPPORT/AWARENESS and not just if you actually have whatever it is they stand for): your problem identified without you having to explain or defend your sick leave.

First I thought they could go on your forehead, like the Hindu bindi dots, but Hindus get sick, too and then what would they do? Everyone would think they have constant fevers.

"Hrm," I said to Martin, after relating that idea to him. "That might have been a little racist." I looked over at him. "Borderline?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Look behind you."

"At what?" I asked.

"The BORDER."

Heh. Well, not on purpose. Just think! We could all be issued our sticker set at birth and when you run out, you just fill out (in?) a form online at your local health clinic to order more. I'm all for anything that engenders more sympathy for the ill. And bonus! If your stupid co-worker is in the office even though SHE'S SICK, then you'll know exactly what you're dealing with and how far at arm's length to keep her, while telling her how sorry you are that she's under the weather. Win-win!
 creative
mood: creative
music: Bad Company—Crazy Circles


Comments
(Anonymous)

Okay, you're definitely feeling feverish or something, because this is truly the type of amusing post that can only come about when you're so sick and tired you've become slap happy. GET BETTER SOON!

- Heather

haha! A slap-happy blog post is as good as a sick-sticker! :D

(Anonymous)

Well, I think Heather nailed the comment - I ditto her words! Love, Lizardmom

(Anonymous)

Maybe combine the color idea with the idea of keeping sick co-workers at arm's length, and have color-coded surgical masks for sick people to wear whenever they leave home? I'd make them mandatory for all the people at my office that refuse to stay home when they're sick!

Russell

I can't imagine what you mean...no one sick ever goes to work, right?

Don't wear make-up, that'll scare them!

Ha! You have no idea! :D

From Megsie

I haven't felt good this week either. Boo. I hope you are feeling better! I would vote for anything that would get me more sympathy!

Re: From Megsie

Double boo! I hope you are feeling better now!!

I sympathise, Liz as someone else who looks bright cheeked and in glowing health even while hammering on death's doorstep. I recall at school going to the nurse feeling decidedly woozy only to be sent back to class as I looked too good. Funnily enough when I passed out in class later on, THAT was my fault as well. I also have a friend who is pale and frail looking all of the time and SHE gets help with everything because people believe that she's about to expire before their eyes. It's all about perceptions.

The sticker set is an inspired idea. There is a version of that in the dog world. It started with Gula hund, but since then it's been enlarged to include other colours (eg red for dogs on heat). Not that anyone understands it....

I had heard about the yellow ribbons for dogs from my sister, who has two dogs that wear them, but didn't know there were other colors...though upon reflection it seems inevitable given the human need to identify, and label everything

A black cloud-shaped sticker for depression, that signals to people to stay the heck away from me when I'm struggling to cope. That would be awesome. ;-)

I hope you are feeling better soon!

It could be arm bands or halos, maybe earrings of a large and definite shape. The sick alert possibilities are endless. And too bad about the bindies, as front and center on the forehead is a perfect location for visibility. I have often thought we could have a small lightbulb there front and center that would light up when bored of listening to people who go on and on...

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