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REALITY BITES
Spring is here, it's here, it's here! Finally. It's warming, it's greening, it's blooming and it's blowing...pollen. Straight into my eyes. I can admire the new buds through my red, itching slits of vision. But the sky is blue, the clouds are huge and white and puffy, the sun is warm and there's no going back.

It's Easter weekend, a long weekend, the first of the long weekends of the spring season. I am psyched, even though I worked longer than I should have yesterday on what was supposed to be a half-day and even worked about half an hour this morning. Because I am nice. Also conscientious. Also, an idjit.

We had bad news at the beginning of last week. My aunt has been diagnosed with cancer: a brain tumor. Aggressive and large and fast-growing, and there is nothing good to be said about that. They are going with radiation and chemo and my uncle says they are hopeful and optimistic but they know that it may be just a stop-gap measure and I am devastated for them, for what lies ahead of them. You really think that the people you love are immortal, you know? They will be there forever, and it's comforting to think that: they will always be there. Even if you don't talk to them very often or see them but once in awhile, you know they're THERE somewhere, living their lives and that means everything is right in the world. But then, it's not. They're not. And damn, it just sucks to have that realization shoved home, right in your solar plexus.

If the weather continues fine, I will go buy and plant pansies tomorrow. And for each one I plant, I shall think fiercely at it: LIVE, LIVE, LIVE. Be well, be better, be there. Only it won't really be the pansies I am thinking it for.
 indescribable
mood: indescribable
music: crunching, clicking, whirring, talking


Comments
(Anonymous)
From Megsie

Oh, no. I have been worrying about you all week. I am so sorry to hear that it is a brain tumor. I can't think of what would be worse. I am sending you (and them, if possible) love and peace and HEALING. Suck. The spring is a time for rebirth, after all, why not brains? Get rid of the bad and bring in the new growth! I am sorry, it must be so hard. I totally agree, about the immortal theory. I believe it too.

Hugs to you dear friend. xoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

Re: From Megsie

Thanks Megsie, I really appreciate your response. It is hard to believe what would be worse, but I hope they can do SOMETHING. Faith, hope, love!!

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear this -- have gone through brain tumors twice with loved ones, and know how hard it is. A dear friend calls brain tumors obscene, and I have to agree with her choice of words.

Your words, as always, are poignant and perfect. May those pansies grow, grow, grow!

and that tumor shrink shrink shrink!!

(Anonymous)

Pansies...perfect! Love, Lizardmom

It's still been too cold, maybe today, though!!

Oh Liz, what sad news about your aunt. It really hammers home the fleeting preciousness of life when something like this happens close to you. Plant those pansies and send those vibes to your aunt and her family. I will be planting next week, so I'll dedicate my pansies and fervent wishes to your family. I really hope she recovers.

"the sun is warm and there's no going back." So, can you explain this morning's snowfall? Explanation on a postcard, please :-)

Snowfall: FIGMENT

(Anonymous)

So sorry to hear about your aunt. :( Sending you another hug.

-Heather

Thanks Heather!!

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I can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.

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