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MOOD
Headache day. I've had headaches almost every day this week, waking with them early enough to sometimes medicate and fall back asleep but not always. Today's was a doozy and I ended up staying home and seriously (!) being a slug. I slept on and off most of the day, reading a bit in between and keeping an eye on work emails, since I have a lot to do and was stressing a bit about not being in the office. I don't know if the changes in temperature and weather are responsible, but UGH. Would like to have my head back.

This week marks the definite change to autumn. I saw the first sugar beet on the side of the road, heralding the official start of fall in Skåne. Some of the leaves are turning, but down here we mostly have the browns and golds, and not the blazing reds and oranges I wish we had. When you DO see the red autumn leaves they are almost a shock: so bright and fancy against the still green or drab landscapes. Even the hay bales have mostly been gathered in and the fields are barren and ready for winter rest. Tomorrow is the equinox, and I find myself boggling almost daily at how late in the year it already is.

For some reason, I was making a mental list earlier today of all the physical things that are wrong with me right now. Some of them can be chalked up to aging and some are things that I'm doing something about, but UGH. It feels sometimes like a never-ending list. Just when I start working on one problem, something else falls apart or goes to hell. If this is what getting older is all about, I wanna get off. Start over. Go back to a time when I could really appreciate how nicely everything just WORKS like it's supposed to.

It's such a busy time of year and yet I feel I am sort of sitting things out and letting time pass. Maybe I'm feeling the pain of separation more than I'd like to admit. Learning to live without your children, after nearly 20 years of their daily presence, is tough. I don't know if Karin is making it harder or easier by never being home, haha! I text with Martin often, and we call him every weekend, but it's not the same, and sometimes it makes me miss him more. He seems to be settling in well and is enjoying his classes and the work, and making friends. I just wish he wasn't so darn FAR away. Hi, mom! :D (fruit, fall, not far from the tree, I KNOW)

I wonder if it's partly the time of year...heading into winter, holidays, hibernation, that is making me feel all the feels so much more. We tend to introspection this time of year, I suppose. In the spring and summer we're too busy enjoying the outdoors and all the bright shining newness of things to get moody. For me, anyway, writing it out here definitely helps. And, of course, knowing (or at least hoping) that someone is reading, listening, and possibly nodding their head.
 contemplative
mood: contemplative
music: Haim—Nothing's Wrong
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Comments
(Anonymous)
From Megsie

Oh, dear. I am so sorry about your head. I hope it feels better by now. I am SO NOT looking forward to my kids leaving home. I really can't imagine it feeling like home anymore. But I also know it felt like home for the NINE years before they arrived. It will be a transition, that's for sure! Just like their invasion was a transition.

Sending you love and hugs...xo

Re: From Megsie

Today was better, head-wise, thankfully. NINE years! Wow. Anders and I only had three. And invasion is the perfect word, haha! Definitely a transition. Life is full of them, I guess, both good and not so good.

(Anonymous)

Reading, listening, and nodding my head. :-)

- Russell

That makes it all the better!

Edited at 2017-09-22 07:14 pm (UTC)

(Anonymous)

Sorry to hear that you are dealing with headaches again. Maybe I should give you some mmigraine treatments.
Yes... the apple doesn't fall...", but you've got texts and skype which must make it a bit easier! Love, lizardmom

It certainly helps. You always say you should give me treatments, but you never do...I bet I know why, haha!

Sorry to hear about the headaches - they sound awful. That said, I refuse to believe that you had a slug day - just saying!

I so resonated with "If this is what getting older is all about, I wanna get off." If you find a way, let me know as I am finding it so frustrating! For me it began in my mid 50s and has been getting steadily worse. Yet I see all these sprightly old ladies rushing about and wonder how they do it, when I can barely hobble to the shops. What's their secret?

Only 1 load of laundry. That surely counts for something! hahahahahahaha!

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