THINGS YOU FIND IN A CLOSET
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How Can I Keep From Singing?
I apologize in advance to all you well-rounded music aficionados out there for my dissonant genre-mashing; my own tastes are… eclectic. But it’s Saturday, it’s gorgeous, and darned if I don’t feel like a little Pawl, Yawn, Jawrge and Ringtail this morning. ♫ Here comes the sun, doodle-oo-doo… wait, no, Meg’s got a better idea: — We can work it out
We can make this whole damn thing work out With a little nom, we can lay it down Can’t you feel this website exploding? [Sing in Sir Paul McCartney voice]
XTreme Cute Overload Nom Close-Up [XCONCU]:
Sender-Inner Lori W. FOUND ANOTHER ONE! Posted in Uncategorized Tagged: Encore Presentayshe™, Unusual animals, Violence      street food
HOGWARTS POST OFFICE
HOGWARTS POST OFFICE When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight. Picture by: dunno source. Caption by: Wolfie68 via Our LOL Builder       Great Expectations
We’ve been home from vacation for a week, and this week felt like more of a break than last. Öland was good. But not great. Part of that is due to a chronic sickness I have, which I will name HEAD, High Expectation Anxiety Disorder. This condition causes me to picture things in my mind and then get quite bent out of shape when they aren’t exactly right. It can be as big as seeing a week’s sunny, beachy vacation and getting rain and cold or as little as planning on pasta only to learn that Erik isn’t in the mood. One time many years ago, my then-boyfriend and I drove miles for a brownie sundae, only to discover when we got home and I reached the bottom of my ice cream that there was…no brownie. MELTDOWN. Poor Erik suffers more from this disorder than I do. It means that by the time he’s opened his eyes in the morning, I have already planned out what the perfect day will look like. What do you mean, you don’t want to go for a stroll downtown? That’s part of my plan! Luckily, Erik is blessed with another sort of disorder, fascinating to me, which I’ll call WMWTMLIML for short (When My Wife Throws Me Lemons I Make Lemonade). He is unendingly patient with me and my unrealistic wants and disappointments. He’s a good one to have on a kind of blah vacation. So what did I picture? I admit it. I pictured a baby splashing in a sun-warmed paddling pool, parents taking turns bathing in the ocean, leisurely coffee dates in charming cafes, and hey, maybe Sigrid will even sleep really well in our cute-as-can-be-cottage! What did we get? A cottage that was cute but was much closer to the main house than we imagined and was conspicuously garage-like (half of it was a garage). We left a scorching (by Swedish standards) week in Malmö and arrived on the island in the middle of a downpour. We did get sun but it was never even close to warm enough to swim. And all those lovely cafes I planned on sitting in? They didn’t exist. Our very picturesque village was so teeny tiny that there wasn’t even a place to buy milk. The street wasn’t dotted with country cafe owners hawking fresh baked goods. Oh, I didn’t tell you? Öland was supposed to be Dickensian! Mornings were be all about buying milk, ripe strawberries and an all-around wonderful feeling! Here I am in my pre-vacation daydream, waking up to a typical Öland morning:
OK, so Öland wasn’t exactly what I imagined and we were still the same tired new mom and bad-sleeping baby, just in different surroundings. But it wasn’t bad either. We lived across from an art school with pretty gardens and down the road from a great ice cream shop. We visited with other vacationing friends and explored ruins and landscapes. We had some nice moments in our rented garden and got really into watching The Wire. Most importantly of all, we got away for a week so that I could appreciate coming back. Appreciate it, I did. My cabin fever is gone and I’m reveling in two weeks at home with my family, no major expectations, except for continuing to eat a good amount of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream sandwiches. God help everyone if they get sold out.
      Comic for July 18, 2009
Sewing for people without advanced degrees in how a sewing machine works
A few people have asked if it’s okay for them to print out the sewing machine diagram. Yes, totally but! The one I posted last week is only 72 dpi. If you aren’t technical, DPI = dorks per square inch. The more dorks they had working on the program that created your file, the better the quality of the resulting print. Well the one I showed you earlier was only made by 72 dorks and so it will look like a butt if you print it out. So! Please download and print this better version instead: I Just Thought You Should Know That I've Gone Insane
I have. I really have. I've actually gone insane. Why else would I decide today to buy a hundred paper cocktail napkins and stamp each one with a stamp set purchased especially for the occasion? AND ENJOY EVERY SECOND OF IT?
I mean, that's the really sick part. Another Day Down
The older cousins are spending the night because Erik has been missing them the last few days. He decided he was going to sleep with them and Grandma and I'm down here laughing. There is no way he is going to sleep up there. I keep hearing my mom tell him to lay down. The TV is blasting cartoons at 100 decibels. I am a firm believer that the TV has no place in the bedroom. Bedrooms are for sleeping (and adult activities). Your mileage may vary and that's fine. I don't have to live in your house. But there is no way Erik is going to be able to sleep with all that noise and stimulation. I wonder how much of this entry will get written before I have to go get him.
We had a nice day today except for the part where I thought my dad was dead. He has been killing himself slowly with alcohol since he was a kid. He currently drinks about a case of beer a day. He has a couple of buddies who prefer whiskey. One of them left a big jug of it and my dad decided to drink the whole thing. I think some of it was gone before he got started, but he basically drank the whole thing himself. I'm pretty sure he had alcohol poisoning. When he wasn't up by noon, I left the house because I was freaked out and scared to go look and see if he was alive or not. I'm always convinced he's on the verge of death. So far he hasn't been dead. Obviously. I took Erik over to a park and he had fun splashing in the wading pool with some other little boys. One of the boys kept running over and giving his dad a hug and kiss on the cheek. Guess what Erik had to do? Go give the guy a hug and kiss on the cheek. What am I going to do with this kid? He's going to get himself kidnapped and taken away by a pervert. I think I need to get some kind of GPS tracker installed in the back of his neck. Do they do that yet? My sister sent me a Facebook message about how it sucks that my uncle is driving us apart. She is so unreal. I let her know exactly what my "problem" is. I also agreed to be nice for the rest of my trip here if she would stop thinking about herself and put some thought into how her actions affect her children. Oh boy. Sounds like my mom is about to burst a vein and kick Erik's butt. Maybe I better go save him. Or her. Whoever. I go home Monday! Mini
So that was brief. Seriously, how long did my post-vacation haze of well-rested contentment last? Five minutes? Steve, Caroline and Edward have all been felled by colds. Caroline woke up from her nap yesterday with a fever over 104 (á la bum, but still - I could have baked a cookie on her forehead.) Edward woke up from a dead sleep at midnight and proceeded to cough his way into inconsolable hysterics for the next three hours. He finally fell asleep sitting bolt upright in bed next to me. It was weird to see, actually; he looked like a garden gnome, all hunched over with the nightlight casting a pointy hat shadow from the blanket. And Steve... hell, what is there left to say about my husband when he has a head cold? That he was beautiful and brilliant? That he loved Bach and the Beatles and me? Patrick is FINE and GREAT and has never felt better in his et cetera. He's the one that worries me, of course, because a) he is absolutely not to be trusted; and b) he is the family member most likely to have his lymph nodes explode. I guess the lesson here is that no good vacation goes unpunished or, alternately, you cannot rub your hands over every surface between Minnesota and Vermont without picking up a virus; nor can you then repeatedly cram your hands into your sister's mouth without giving that virus to her. Who knew, Edward, who knew? My intention was to dedicate this evening to a long and chatty post but instead I am taking my rattling cough, my streaming nose and my mug of salt soup and I am going to bed. We have a one adult per illness rule around here and apparently it's not my turn to be sick, so I'd better sleep while I can. In parting: Panda ears two ways
And I remembered what I wanted to ask you. Netflix again. Series recommendations, again, please. We finally made our slow way through the first season of Mad Men and started on the Tudors. Although I like the Tudors in theory (and Steve brightened the first time a lady-in-waiting shed her kirtle - ah! history!) I am finding myself depressed by the fact that I know when and how everyone dies. I am like Cassandra, all, enjoy that peach, Thomas More, because... well. Tsk tsk. For you, off the top of my head, we liked Slings and Arrows, Weeds, Deadwood, Rome, Arrested Development, Veronica Mars (sigh), Battlestar Galactica... what else? Oh that British series was very funny... Coupling. I loved Farcape but Steve says I need to stop admitting that, as if a fondness for cheesy SciFi makes me somehow uncool. Cough cough. Damn it. starbucks ice cream
Starbucks Java Chip Frappuccino ice cream? It is DELICIOUS. I bought it at Walgreens last week (for $.39...) and now I want to marry it and have its babies. I also bought a Caramel Macchiato but I haven't tried it yet so I can't vouch for its deliciousness. They're giving away 20,000 coupons on Facebook (800 per hour, through July 19) if you'd like to try it yourself. Free Starbucks coupon. I kept the window open for a few days and refreshed it now and then and tried again, and finally managed to get one sent (though I haven't gotten it yet.) Really, this is a deal I should have posted on my other blog days ago but I really just wanted to say that I am eating ice cream and it is tasty. The free coupon was an afterthought. (Though if you try it and get one, let me know because that would make me happy.) Oh, and there are also $2 coupons on eBay, and the ice cream is regularly priced at about $2.50 at Walmart, so there's always that route too. If we weren't trying to stop eating so much junk food, I'd be all over that one but I am keeping myself from ordering any of them.
And, I have spent most of the day cleaning up things and doing laundry, which doesn't make for the most exciting posts. I am pretty excited about the whole weekend thing, though. We have a pretty busy weekend planned, apparently. According to Evelyn, we are going to get a tiny bitty baby this weekend. News to me! I love the things that kids come up with. He's alive
When I came back at 2:30 his friend was here, pulling him out of bed. He thought he was going to have to call 911, but he's just really hung over. He drank a big jug of whiskey (1.75 liters) after I went to bed last night, on top of his daily case of beer. Guess he wasn't feeling too hot.
I O Tokyo [del.icio.us]
I O "I O Tokyo" by Karl Maier
Li’l Wiskars is awflee
Li’l Wiskars is awflee quiet. Ah wunders wat dat kid is up to. i dont fink u iz goin 2 haz dinner tonite. Picture by: dunno source. Caption by: pooda via Advanced Lol Builder       Have a happy weekend.
 My darlings, what are you doing this weekend? Alex and I are rolling up our sleeves and going to a Sunday Suppers cooking class. (I can't wait to see their fabulous tabletops in person.) I'm also going to see 500 Days of Summer tonight. Meanwhile, here are a few great posts from around the web this week...Kid-friendly thank-you notes. Tiny houses on tiny islands. Emma Watson is too cool for school. It's a tissue...it's a flower...it's tissue flowers! A rad-as-hell bedroom poster that glows in blacklight. Skinamarinky Dinky Dink-inspired artwork. Genius. A subtle braid and a vintage nurse's uniform? Portland is officially awesome. Vintage jewelry. Wedding photographer Max Wanger does it again. The Little Mermaid's wish list. Wheeeee!!!! A gorilla slide. Lovely camera bags and woven necklaces. Fast food made fancy. (Via VSL) Love this blog's header and this schmoopy wedding photo. Honey, I shrunk the bike helmet. What a great idea to draw on plates with a porcelain pen. A moment in Iceland. Ouch! Models falling. Also, intense. These DIY outdoor lighting make me wish I could do-it-myself. Constellation wall art. Wedding do or don't: Tossing the bouquet. These bird vases are too cute. Plus, three videos: Jane Birkin and Serge Gainsbourg get steamy. My brother-in-law, who is a brain surgeon (seriously), sent this hilarious video. And a SUPER cool video save-the-date. (Two former actors spliced together their reel footage, including a commercial they shot together with a fake wedding.) Whew! That's all folks. Have a wonderful weekend.  (Photos by Max Wanger) Show off!
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Friday Crossroads II
 Wonder Twin Powers... ACTIVATE!Form of... DadCentric! The new DADALOGUE is up at DadCentric - talking about the sensitive issue of yelling at kids. Jack and Lucy give their 2 cents. Shape of... MamaPop! Also, over at MamaPop, I investigate the murder of Ozzy Osbourne's dog. Do you resent it when you come here and I jerk you around like this? But you came here looking for one post and I gave you TWO! It's like you got this 2-for-1 special but you're complaining about a couple extra clicks. You're never satisfied. Do you realize that I make next to nothing? Maybe $12 a month. I hope we can still be friends. No, just go. Say nothing more, and go. Please. Just go. (are you still here? are you following me on Twitter? why not?)  |
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