What's your idea of the perfect vacation? I waffle between not wanting to do anything at all but sleep in, lay on the sofa and read, and read some more, to making travel plans and go-go-going every day, getting something out of every minute. This week, the first of a 4-week vacation, has been a nice mix of the two, which suits my waffling heart to a T. I had plans every day but not the whole day and some of them fell through or were changed and all of them involved nice things.

It's only 2 days until the Swedish midsommar celebrations and Anders is preparing 3 kinds of herring to take with us to the party at Mats & Annelott's. My brother & Simone arrive tomorrow, and the house is clean and I feel calm and prepared for next week's trip up north to the coast.

I've had lunch with friends and a massage and a dinner with Geena, during all of which I got things that I needed: closure, advice, confirmation, relaxation and laughter. My children have been well-behaved in public, helpful at home and Martin even told me that the computer discipline-time-division that we instituted a couple of weeks ago was a good idea and was working well.

Today while we were sitting in the balcony having fika with my in-laws in Malmö, we looked out over a sea of green trees and wheeling seagulls and were horrified to watch 3 teenage boys come traipsing across the park, strewing garbage about them. They chucked a coke can into a flower garden, flung the plastic lids from 2 pringle cans across the playground, emptied the crumbs onto the path and then dropped and stomped the cans themselves before turning and strolling away. HONESTLY. My kids raced downstairs a few minutes later, completely burning with righteous indignation, picked up the garbage and put it in the public garbage containers that were 6 feet away from where the boys had been standing.

The sun has been shining all day and it started warming up (finally! finally? please say finally) after lunch, and I acquiesced to Karin's request to please please please take them to the pool. I don't really like going to the pool because 1) I don't do bathing suits and 2) if I sit and read in the sun (even in the shade), my vision is blurry for the rest of the day, but I DO like going to the pool because hey! It's the POOL. It's blue and shiny and there is an ineffable sound of joy in the splashing and shrieking and carrying on. So we swung by home and picked up bathing stuff and a camping chair for me and went to the pool. I started Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (HAR!) and after awhile, gave up on reading and just sat in the sun with the heat pounding down on my shoulders. It was almost like getting a bonus massage.

So this has been a week at home, and next week is a week away, then we have another week at home and another week away. If that doesn't sound like a recipe for lizardek's perfect vacation, I don't know what does.

If anyone has tips for things to do around Smögen in Sweden (1.5 hours north of Gothenburg) or around Vaals in the Netherlands, I'd be glad to hear them. We have some things already planned, but more ideas would be very welcome!

Cool Stuff for Bibliophiles: Turning the Pages

My stomach was so upset with nerves before my doctor's appointment this afternoon that I seriously thought I would throw up. All for a little lump! I got there early and the doctor was an older man, a bit bear-like, with a kindly expression. It was the fastest I've ever been felt up in my life. :D He examined me and then said that he couldn't really feel anything that warranted worry: "nothing dangerous," he said. But he's scheduling me for a mammogram just to be sure. I feel much better, I have to say.

Tomorrow is my last day of work before a month-long vacation. Today was the last day of school for the kids. Tomorrow Anders is leaving for 3 days to participate in the Vätternrundan bicycle ride up north in Sweden. It's 300 kilometers (186 miles) and his start time is 3:30 a.m. on Saturday morning! There are 18,000 cyclists registered this year. They cycle around Lake Vättern, which is Sweden's 2nd biggest lake. It's not really a race...they don't keep official times or award prizes to winners, though participants can keep track of their own times, thanks to the special chips they receive for the ride.

Even though next week is the first week of vacation, it is as busy as a "real week". Tomorrow after work I'm taking the kids out for sushi (what else?). Saturday Karin has a soccer match in the morning and a birthday party (in Malmö) in the afternoon and the kids and I are going to a grill party in the evening. Monday I'm going to to help a friend organize her home in the face of impending blindness. Tuesday I'm having lunch with Carol's parents and dinner with brief_therapy whom I haven't seen in far too long. Wednesday I'm (hopefully) going to see a friend & colleague who just had a baby, Thursday my brother & Simone arrive, Friday is midsummer and a party with friends and Saturday we are going up north to Sotens Fiskeby for a week of actual relaxing vacation and some canoeing and hiking and biking and sightseeing, weather permitting. Points to those who figure out WHICH day in the calendar madness listed above actually has nothing planned in it.

Weather?! Listen up! PERMIT ALREADY.

I'm feeling pretty good about things, despite the apparent crazyness of that schedule. After we get back from up north, we have a few days here at home and then we're going down to Holland for a week where 4 of my junior high girlfriends are gathering for a mini-reunion. My best and oldest friend Becky among them: HURRAY! I see her so seldom, it's like Christmas in July that she's coming!

AND I booked tickets today for my work trip to the States this fall: 2 weeks in September. Sadly, I will just miss the Squam Art Workshops (organized by the incredible woman and friend formerly and forever known as Bluepoppy) by a week, but my mom is making plans to come with me as she's done the past 2 times and I'm just thrilled about the whole thing.

Sugar Cinnamon Butter Birthday Wishes to Jeanine and Heather and anniz and A BONANZA BUNDLE OF BELATED ONES need to be given to jes6ica!!

*Title from a quote by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

I'm not in the MOOD to write. What AM I in the mood for?

Glenn Miller songs and convertibles. Summer evenings and those retro lawn chairs made of soft round strips that make lines on the back of your thighs. Backrubs, footrubs, headrubs. Deviled eggs and rice krispie treats. POPSICLES.

digression/ I bought a box of Hello Kitty popsicles at the grocery store this evening, partly because they were grape & cherry flavored (!) and partly because I wanted to see the expression on Karin's face when I handed her the box /end digression

I'm in the mood for cleaning but I'm not motivated. I'm in the mood for tickets and travel but I have to wait a bit longer. I'm in the mood for strawberries and cream: one more week to midsummer!

Huge fat colorbomb peonies. Getting together with old friends. Girl giggles. Compliments. Closet cleaning. Ragtime piano players. Buying books. Slow-dancing. Nostalgia. Summer slacks and sandals. Turquoise. Open windows. Calligraphy inks. Comic strips. Vacation!

What are you in the mood for?

Despite the ups and downs of sorrow the sun keeps on shining and I muddle along. I dragged Martin up off the sofa and made him go for a walk with me after dinner this evening. The sun was lowering, but still high in the sky; it hasn't reached its zenith yet...we're still enjoying the lengthening days.

It's cool in the evening air, there's an autumn-y nip in the spring sunlight which is rather refreshing. I much prefer a cool, sunny spring to a direct dive into humidity and heat, so no complaints here. We pulled on fleeces and started out. Martin often requests a treasure hunt list to take along but I was feeling fresh out of ideas so I told him he'd have a different kind of hunt this time: he had to make his own list...of sorts. I jotted down a quick column: "dogs, cats, frogs, birds, butterflies, bees, others" and told him this time he had to count all the ones he found.

His enthusiasm for games is infectious: we both found ourselves stepping out with zeal and a bright glint in our eyes. I think you notice so much more of your surroundings when you deliberately set yourself a task like this. I hadn't said that the animals on the list had to be real, and Martin quickly bagged 2 dog pictures on the dog-doo collection can at the head of the walking path. As we rounded the swampy spot behind the school, the air was full of tiny bits of flying fluff: dandelion wishes floating free. I made wishes on all of them: health for my suffering friends. O! The very air is full of wishes!

The pussywillows have all exploded alongside the dandelions and the path further on was lined with white fluff. Rooks and ravens marched about the meadow, heads bent to their evening meal hunt. Across the sunny pastures, a group of animals grazed: how had I forgotten to write HORSES on the list when we live in the horse capitol of Sweden?? Martin ratcheted up a full set of marks under "others"—4 horses and a cow, 3 hares frolicking in a far-off field, a polar bear design on a camper. We met walking dogs along the way, made kissy-noises at basking cats, found FIVE frog figurines in various gardens. 2 fat and furry bumblebees buzzed down low in the front yard as we headed back toward home but the only butterfly in sight was a plastic reflector on a stick in front of a neighbor's house.

Then we came into the backyard and sat on the trampoline for awhile, just my kid and me. We talked about everything and nothing and I tickled him and he zapped me with static electricity and we discussed the pros and cons of putting the pool up this year and whether anyone would notice if we stole appropriated and relocated the lilac bushes from across the ditch and whether the kohlrabi and artichokes will ever sprout and how many marks he could have made under dogs and birds and others (horses) if the lady in the farmhouse behind us hadn't recently moved away.

Hearing that (another) friend has been diagnosed with cancer has put quite the damper on my weekend, even though I think, given today's medical advances, that she can beat this, it's still a horrible experience for her and her family to go through. The alternative doesn't bear thinking about. I'm not thinking about what it would mean to ME to receive such a diagnosis; my mind skitters and leaps about it, looking distractedly in the other direction, pulling my sleeve and pointing, not letting me dwell on any of those grotesque and overwhelmingly awful scenarios.

***

Martin and I took the recyclables in, went grocery-shopping and then went for a walk. The sun had disappeared, unfortunately, but it was still bright out and he had a treasure hunt list in his hand to do. I was a bit too optimistic with the first item, Easter feathers, because I saw them at the store and even, nearly, bought some myself, but I guess it's still too early for anyone to be decorating even if they are selling egg-coloring kits and small fluffy chenille pipe-cleaner chicks. We saw crocus in a pastel palette of different colors, snowdrop clumps by the dozens, and gardens covered in the small yellow spring flower whose name I can never remember...yellow anemone? We saw baby pussywillows and tiny, tight lilac buds.

One of the items on his list was "3 different birds" and I thought, since Sweden is full of over-sized fowl, that he'd most likely see crows or jackdaws or magpies or rooks, and that if nothing else, there were always the ducks and geese in the farmyard behind our house, or the odd cocky pheasant walking through our backyard. But he saw a giant wood pigeon up in a tree, and then we found a blåmes (blue tit) and then a flock of talgoxe (great tit), and then a lilac hedge filled with LBJ's (little brown jobs).

We bought roast chicken and potato salad for dinner, and tonight is the final Melodifestivalen competition, and we have baked brie and crackers to enjoy with it. At the post office counter, we picked up 2 boxes that we'd received slips for yesterday and one was Karin's dragon wallpaper mural, and the other was a box from my mom: a care package of American items I'd requested, plus perfect cup-size tupperware containers for fruit and PEEPS...the yellow chick kind.

PEEPS! Now I KNOW Spring is on the way! Thanks, mom!

*happy mail dance*

A new pair of pants and a card from my mom. Thanks, mom!
A box full of orange-flavored tic-tacs from my brother.* Thanks, John!
A card & a photo of a park in early spring from a friend.

I'm continually flabbergasted and touched by the thoughtfulness and generosity of people, especially and most mindbogglingly, from those I have never met. Last week I posted about the cruddy mood that had rained all over my parade and was threatening to eat me alive, and today in the mail I got a card prompted by that post from Bethany. It said:

Front of card: Stressed out? Anxious? Tense? Weary? Fed up? Inside of card: You bet I am. And you? And this was the note inside addressed to me: Dear Liz, This card serves no other purpose than to let you know that the sun came out today...and I thought of you. Hopefully by the time you get this, your rilly rilly good mood will be back in full force. If not, just breathe in this photo I snapped from the playground next to our house today. Imagine sunlight spilling into a puddle over the park, tricking the grass and the tiny white daisies into thinking it's spring. See all the children dressed as princesses and witches and Batmen and multi-colored pirates for Carnevale throwing paper confetti into each other's hair. Smell the deep-fried-sugar-crusted holiday treats (that are called "frappé" for no earthly reason I can conjure) and hear the delighted dogs chasing down blackbirds while their white-haired owners gossip together on a park bench. Remember that sometimes, with very little provocation, life is...fabulous. Have an absurdly lovely day, Bethany :)

Now, I KNOW that she has been having a cruddy-mood-eat-you-alive time that has lasted much longer than mine, though she has rather matter-of-factly dealt with it in her journal and I know, too, that it has its ups and downs as anyone with small children will understand. That she thought to reach out and send me a day-brightener like this floors me to the core. People are lovely. Bethany, you're LOVELY.

***

We've been talking on and off for quite some time about renovating the kids' department and my poor husband, upon whose head the bulk of the work will devolve, has been understandably dragging his feet a bit, but now we've finally leaped from the starting post. Karin and I did another good clean-out of stuff in her room, in preparation, and today we started moving out her furniture (she's first, then Martin, then the playroom) and taking down everything on the walls.

She and Martin have been putting some thought into what kind of décor they would like to have, what colors, what new furniture, with the caveat that what they choose has to pass parental approval and that they need to be thinking long-term and not just about what their current fads or obsessions are (no HSM-themed wallpaper, for example). Since the interior design of their rooms will probably have to last them through their teenage years, we are steering them toward fairly neutral foundations that they can then embellish as they wish.

We went to IKEA yesterday, the kids and I, and just walked around, looking at bedroom set-ups and furniture and getting ideas. Karin will be getting a new bed and a new desk. Martin will be getting a new dresser and possibly a new desk. They'll both be trading in 2 short bookcases for 1 tall one, and they'll both get new curtains and rugs. And we're planning to cover the short wall in each room with cork for a floor-to-ceiling bulletin board for each of them.

Martin wants primarily blue in his room, and he wants one wall to be a wall-size photo of an underwater scene: coral reef with dolphins and fish...and Anders found exactly the right thing online today! Karin has decided on a red/black/white theme with silver trimmings. She wanted one wall to have a giant karate mural but while we were looking at the photowall site, we found this dragon, and she's decided that is much better (and we agree). She's really into both Asian characters and style and also loves tribal tattoo-style artwork, so we all agree that this will work very well on one wall of her room. And the nice thing is that both of these are easily changed out, if they decide when they're 15 that their rooms need a facelift.

Just what we needed! A big in-with-the-new, out-with-the-old family project! :)

*They're really hard to find in Sweden.

What a perfect day this has been! Anders got home last night from Spain, ending my 3 weeks of husband-less-ness and it just got better from there:

♥ sleeping in (no better way to start off my day!)
♥ being in a really good mood
♥ sparkly sparkly snow and sunshine
♥ whizzing through 3 loads of laundry...mmmm, clean soft clothes!
♥ several really productive hours catching up on the overload at work
♥ a half-hour walk soaking up sunshine with Martin: we saw geese in a V, a horse, 2 poodles (1 big & 1 small) and a pheasant flying
♥ getting the grocery shopping done with Karin
♥ hearing that Christina had her baby!
♥ putting in my summer vacation request
♥ swans winging by overhead
♥ Creamy Crab Nachos for dinner :) (yes, again, but Anders hadn't had them)
♥ a phone call from my brother
♥ introducing Anders to Color Infection
♥ watching Melodifestivalen and voting like maniacs for our favorite song (which went to 2nd chance. Go Rigo!)*
♥ getting work done on the AWC website which is overdue
♥ watching more snow come down like crazy again this evening
♥ posting this great video of Karin snowboarding that Anders made! Check it out!

*Did anyone else have a sudden craving for those princess cakes made with real barbie dolls during Velvet's number? HA!

If Sheryl and I could sit down at a little café and each have a half a ciabatta sandwich and a cup of chicken & wild rice soup together, we would, though I'm not altogether sure what kind of soup she likes best. I love soup. It's one of my favorite foods. It's hard to find a soup I DON'T like, though of course there are variations that are better than others, and I tend to prefer the cream- and broth-based soups over the tomato-based ones, but whatever, this tangent apparently has the bit in its mixed-metaphorical mouth and is running away with me. Mmmm...soup.

Back at the café with Sheryl, we'd eat our leisurely lunch and we'd talk and talk and talk and I bet there would be a lot of laughter and a lot of really great moments when I thought to myself, "wow! this woman is really a kindred spirit!" which I've done a zillion times already, even though we've never met in person. And I'd scribble things down, things I wanted to remember about that lunch, and things I wanted to remind myself to send her later, and all that scribbling would be done on a paper napkin. Because you don't get linen napkins in Sheryl's café, and who would want them anyway, what with all that ironing?

Sheryl gave me some interview questions and you can get some, too, from me; if you want some, just ask. She came up with some really hard questions for me. Good, but hard.

1. What is the best hundred (or so) bucks you've ever spent in your life?
This was HARD. I actually answered this question last because I couldn't think of anything. I pondered material possessions, and book store shopping sprees and gifts I've given and concerts/shows I've seen and trips I've taken and couldn't pin "the best ever" label on anything. But I think one of the very best things I spent a lot of money on was actually quite a bit more than 100 dollars: flying home to surprise my mom for one of her big birthdays some few years ago. That was great, and worth every penny.

2. If you could become fully enlightened instantly on any one subject, which subject would you choose?
Math. And I mean more than kitchen/basic math, which I've worked pretty hard at mastering over the years. I feel like a complete dunce too much of the time because math just does not seem to stick. Most of what I know is due to memorization and I wish it was easier for me to logically deal with mathematical issues.

3. What is something you really enjoy doing that is a chore or a bore for many people?
Washing dishes by hand. I LOVE it, and it kind of bums me out that I so rarely have the chance to do so anymore, having been seduced by the lazy way out offered by a dishwasher. There's something very soothing about plunging your hands over and over into hot water until they're so clean they squeak—as do the dishes you're washing. What I like best about washing dishes though, is singing over the sink. There's nothing like a good pile of dirty dishes and bubbly soapy water and some scrubby-dubbing to help strike up the solo mios!

4. Do you and Anders have plans to move to another country? If so where, if not, why not?
Actually, we DON'T have any such plans, though we HAVE discussed it many times. We don't really want to move back to the States, and haven't for years, though I DO wish my family were closer. In a relationship like ours, someone's family is always going to be the loser distance-wise and for now, at least, it's unfortunately mine. We've thought it would be great to move somewhere ELSE, not Sweden and not the U.S., where we can BOTH be the foreigner at the same time, but frankly, our lives here are too good to really consider uprooting them, though a temporary rotation would be considered. The bummer part of all that is that I moved a lot as a child and I think it did me good and I think it would be good for MY kids, too, so I would especially like to do it for their sakes.

5. If you could know one fact about every person you've ever met, what particular fact would you want it to be? (The other person would not know that you know it.)
Hrm...this one was really hard, too. Partly because I'm a fairly private person (ha HA! says everyone, pointing at the public forum, namely THIS ONLINE JOURNAL, where the entire world can see my thoughts and feelings and experiences...ah, but you see, you only see what I CHOOSE to put out here.) in a lot of ways and I value and respect other's privacy highly. And also because frankly, I don't care about things that seem to matter to so many people. I don't care, for example, if you're gay or republican or illiterate (though I'd feel really sorry for you in the last instance) or if you recycle or surf porn sites. The fact that you might choose to tell me something is what matters to me but it rarely affects the way I feel about you, if I know you at all. If you're a complete stranger, I don't necessarily want to hear all your dirty laundry, but my fundamentally underlying principle is that it's YOUR BUSINESS. I guess the one fact that I'd like to know about every person I've ever met is whether they are trustworthy. The nice thing is that I can usually figure that one out on my own. :)

***

The kids & I made a great dinner tonight: Creamy Crab Nachos. It's an appetizer recipe that my friend Angie served years ago; in fact, I think we might have made it for one of the AWC cooking club evenings, and I've made it once or twice in the past but it's been a long time. During all this trying to come up with dishes my children will both want to try and like when they do, I remembered this one and though I'd give it a go. They helped prepare the meal and we all scarfed it down. (Isn't "scarfed it down" a hilarous phrase? It cracks me up every time I use it. So I use it a lot.) It was super fast and easy. I posted the recipe here if you want it, and trust me, you WILL. :)

It's traditional and expected to look back on the year that has just passed and reflect over what has happened, what has changed and what one has accomplished. 2008 felt kind of like a placeholder year to me; a year where we kept the status quo: no real major event took place, a year that felt sort of business as usual, for better or for worse. It doesn't feel, upon reflection, that anything really really bad or really really good happened to me or to my family, which seems like an acceptable way to get through 365 days, actually.

In 2008, I read a record-smashing 139 books, an average of 11.5 books a month. This number is astounding to me, but I suspect February's indulgence of re-reading best beloveds is what probably tipped it over the edge. In the years since I started keeping track, I have increased my yearly total from 104 to 110 to 113 to 118 and now this. I suspect I've peaked, but we'll see.

Best books of 2008 (in no particular order and including no re-reads)

• The End of Mr Y by Scarlett Thomas
• The Used World by Haven Kimmel
• East by Edith Pattou
• The House of Niccolo books by Dorothy Dunnett
• The Temeraire books by Naomi Novak
• Searoad by Ursula K. Le Guin
• I Am the Messenger by Markus Zusak
• The Summer Book by Tove Jansson
• The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
• Water For Elephants by Sara Gruen
• Burning Bright by Tracy Chevalier

Once again, I won't bother listing the best films of 2008, because I saw so few. Highlights, however, included: Kung-fu Panda, Wall-E and Juno.

Family & personal highlights of 2008

• Managing not to burn out completely during the Spring of Stress at work
• Work trip to Boston in April that included time with Lizardmom, and a visit at Soliden with BP & Christina, plus getting to meet Chuck in person!
• Hosting the AWC Independence Day BBQ in our backyard with 80 guests
• Family reunion with Anders' cousins
• Summer vacation to Paris and Germany, including EuroDisney and a visit with John & Simone, plus a day at Tropical Islands
• Nice long visit from Lizardmom in September

Best musical discoveries of 2008

• Corrinne May
• Tara McLean
• Bic Runga
• Girlyman
• Jonatha Brooke
• Katie Herzig
• The Weepies
• Kings of Convenience
• Eisley
• The Shins

Some manageable goals for 2009

• 30 minutes of walking a day
• Get the family to the States
• Renovate the kid's department
• Try to work SAW into the business trip to Boston

Everywhere there are yummy yummy recipes coming at me like zingity fattening yummalicious food bombs. First, I do it to myself by visiting friends with mad cooking skillz and the willingness to share recipes. And I buy Martha Stewart Living magazines just so I can LICK THE PAGES. And then I make it worse by choosing to participate in the AWC holiday cookie exchange which kickstarts the baking of the Christmas cookies.

Then ozswede perpetuates the temptation with a string of delicious recipes that have me frantically printing and gathering and drooling, and then she sends me links to things like THIS.

And then Laini posts about recipes like THIS, which leads me to THIS and my god, I'm DOOOOOOOOOOMED.

Last Friday night I stayed up seriously late. I did the same thing on Saturday night, despite knowing it was going to make things difficult come time to get up Monday morning for work, and then I compounded things by staying up late Sunday night as well. I was correct in that theory of self-wrought morning-grogginess hardship, yet it did not stop me from staying up past my bedtime on Monday night...or Tuesday night. When the alarm went off this morning at 6:45 a.m. I nearly cried with despair at my own stupid self, after shooting out of bed wondering how it could POSSIBLY be time to get up already when I had JUST GONE TO SLEEP.

It is now Wednesday night and the time is nearly 11 o' the clock. Now I lay me down to sleep and after all the lovely recipes I have been looking at and poring over recently, I fully expect visions of sugarplums. Commence dancing!