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WHO PUT THE DISCO IN DISCOMBOBULATED?
All along the edge of Pildamms Park in Malmö, where the water is, the city has planted pearl hyacinth in zigzaggy waves in the stretch of grass between the bike path and the walking path. It goes for almost a mile, a wavy wiggle of purple and green, under the trees. By the edge of the water, we stopped and watched a swan gliding and posing, and 7 tumbly ducklings waddling after their mother. The kids behaved beautifully at choir practice last night. Karin came and sat with me and then put in a song request so we sang Vår Dudileja twice for her. She calls it the Doo Dah song. :)

So.Tired. wah wah wah I'm working on the research plan of "how close one can get to the wall without actually hitting it." In Sweden, one can take sick leave for burn-out and get paid for it. Hmmm....I don't really think I qualify yet, although I'm getting there faster than makes me comfortable. The last thing I want to bore anyone with is my grumblings over my self-inflicted busy-whiner lifestyle.

I started to list the things I think are wrong with me but it got a little out of hand. By the end of the list I was convinced I had a brain tumor.

All those people with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome? How do they know?! Do they just stay in bed one morning? What do they do when they have kids and their husband is in Italy on a business trip? Do they just let the kids get their own damn breakfast? This was my 6 a.m. fantasy today. You'll be relieved to know we all ate a healthy breakfast. I made Martin's day by allowing him to have half a bagel (we split it).

My friend Emily and I were trying to find a possible evening we could get together in May and my entire calendar is nearly full. We're also trying to figure out a day before June 12th to have a baby shower for a friend of ours. I consider it a sign of something seriously wrong with me when the thought of any additions to my schedule brings tears to my eyes. The thing is, I like being busy! I do! I THRIVE on it, normally. It can't just be WORK causing all this freakazoidal mindsquiggle, can it? And NO, I am not pregnant. *holds up crossed fingers and hisses*

I want to think happy thoughts again. I want to focus on the positive and not the negative. I want to stop feeling guilty about the Friends List whittling I did the other day. I want to sleep and sleep and sleep. I want my mommy.

Excellent Pranks: Running Low on Post-It Notes and Tinfoiled Apartment

Writers, Take Note!: Tomorrow is the deadline for submissions for the next issue of Mosaic Minds. The theme is Heroes & Role Models, and publication date is May 15th.
 discombobulated
mood: discombobulated
music: Humpe Humpe—Yama-Ha


Comments

Ooooh, good pranks!

*hugs* for you!

RumsJanne better hide his post-it notes :P

Damn it, girlfriend, slow down! PLEASE! I know you say you thrive on this activity and maybe you do normally, but every now and then, you need a breather. I do not believe in a real illness called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, no matter what the doctors and people say, but I do believe you can wear yourself down. So I prescribe a solid month with nothing but choir practice (singing is good for the soul) and your kids and the outdoors (it's spring!). The AWC can be put on hold (YES, it can, they WILL survive without you for a month).

:) yes, doctor. I hear and obey.

Maybe it's the cosmos, I am feeling the same way, like I should go back on anti-depressants. I snapped at Jo twice yesterday. I don't know what my problem is...the spring Blues? I like to think it's something in the stars, cause I don't want to go back on anti-depressants.

Me, too. I've resisted going back on them for a LONG time. I was forced to turn to them for help after Karin was born but only took them for 6 months. argh.

Okay, so you asked for it! :P (There is an illness called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. It's real.) But trust me lady, you ain't got it. You just got TOO DAMNED MUCH on your plate! You only get one plate (24 hours on it). And you've stacked it up and out so full that you can't even find a space to put another olive for yourself.

I reckon you just need to get some time (even if it's just an afternoon) to yourself when Anders gets back and spend it on yourself. TOTALLY on your own to recharge and think.

If the pace of your life is bothering you, you need to take some stuff of your plate. In your head, prioritize them in order and then start at the bottom taking things off. (Don't forget which things are hobbies and 'supposed to be fun' and not stressful.) Maybe just one at a time for a little while, hell, it could just be for while Anders is away... but you NEED to give yourself a break, lady!

*BIG HUGS*
*goes off mumbling about 'crazy ladies'*

hee hee. I made purrthecat mumble to herself. :D

I know, I know!! I'm TRYING! I swear! It's so hard to say no, and it's hard to let go.

Ohhh dear. You are stressed out! Sounds a lot like how my life gets sometimes. I like being busy, but then I get too busy and get overwhelmed. You'll pull through it all...really you will. Don't worry about the friends list whittling. When you feel like you want to read more stuff you can always pump it up again. That's easy.

About the kids breakfasts...remind me how old they are. Maybe they're old enough to really do that once a week or something. A friend of mine disenchant always says that she and her brother got their own breakfasts on Saturday mornings. Their mom would leave bowls and cereal out and they got to eat a cold breakfast in front of the TV while mom slept in. Maybe something like that could give you a little break when you need it.

Hang in there. :)

The breakfast thing is only a problem when Anders isn't home. He gets up early with them during the weekdays (because he naturally gets up early). I NEVER eat breakfast, or at least rarely, because it usually makes me nauseous to eat early in the morning. On weekends, either Anders feeds them or it's not an issue because we're eating later in the morning. Thanks for all the positive comments :)

busybusybusybusybusybusybusybusybusybusybusybusybusybusy

When I am busiest, and over scheduled, the best thing I can do for myself is SCHEDULE at least one half day and preferably one entire day that is totally UNSCHEDULED. That's right, schedule the unscheduled time.

During this time you do NOTHING that you don't want to do. No, you do not catch up on the dishes, unless it is one of those rare moments where doing the dishes is a meditation that feeds your soul.

I realize this is hard with young children (I've had my share!), yet it is do-able, and often better than the consequences of not taking the time.

There IS a condition called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (although that phrase may be over used/abused... reflecting poorly on those who truly have it.) It's not fun, and if you've had it you know that there is not really much choice at some point about getting the children's breakfast :(

Being busy and liking it is great, yet when one finds one's self going into overwhelm, something has got to give. Better to prioritize and pare down when you see it coming, than break down in some way a little later. Good self care. Good example for the children.

Re: busybusybusybusybusybusybusybusybusybusybusybusybusybusy

you are so right. thank you.

In Sweden, one can take sick leave for burn-out and get paid for it.

The more I read about this beautiful country of my ancestors and its amazingly progressive, human-friendly policies, the more I want to emigrate. If only my family had kept up the Swedish in the home!

It certainly does have an awful lot of wonderful advantages, but don't be fooled, it's got its problems like any place.

I'll put in my two cents here and second the motion about giving yourself some free time. When MY kids were small, I used to have a girlfriend I'd see at 11 a.m. every day and we had to report to one another ONE thing we'd done JUST FOR ME in the past 24 hours. I volunteer, if you want to check in.

:) that's something to try for sure. :) You're very kind.

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