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I've written and erased this post 3x already this morning. *rolls eyes* People at work are treating me like a fragile flower...I think they're afraid I'll burst into tears or something. I confess I was near tears a couple of times yesterday, but more because of shock and because of feeling that 4 years of working for something and building it up and making it good is about to disappear *poof* into thin air. People kept asking me how I was, and when I said okay, they would ASK ME AGAIN with an even more concerned look. Which just made me want to punch them. I really have no patience for that kind of sympathetic small talk. Once is enough, and then, unless I'm sobbing in your arms, I don't want to keep going over the "how are you doing" thing. I left work early yesterday because I couldn't stand it anymore, but sushi, shopping and book group really helped lift my spirits.

My boss and my department head have the main priorities of finding us jobs before anything else. The possibilities within Ericsson here in Lund are slim to say the least and not much better at Sony Ericsson next door. However, I'm pretty confident that I can find something in the 4 months they are giving us to job hunt. I sent out 3 applications this morning for positions that sounds very well-matched to my abilities, one at Tetra Pak, where I would LOVE to work.

As my sister said, I kept ignoring the world's hints and now it's had to shake the ground under my feet to get my attention.

However, my grief over work, such at is, completely shrivels and pales in comparison to what some completely undeserving people out there are going through.

QOTD: "When you're going through hell, keep going!" (thanks, Kate!)

Too Good Not To Share: I Wear Roadkill
mood: restless
music: Kansas—Point of Know Return


I love that quote, very apt.

I can so relate. People keep asking me how I am, and though I know it's because they care, it's not helping _me_ to have to rehash everything in my head all the time for each new person. I'm doing bad enough already, and have started taking St. John's Wort for mild depression.

I'd write about all this on my page, of course, but Lennart's been reading it, so... don't hate me for whining a little bit over here, please. :(

Blah...I'm sorry. I know you'll find a cool job though. Tetra-Pak really would be neat!

OH, my dear, you are welcome to come over here and vent anytime you like. In fact, I can give you the password and your own userpic and you can guestblog :D

I'm glad that you're taking something to help with the depression, there is no help in spiraling downward when there are such great aids out there (including calling and having me make you laugh)

Re: Lennart reading your journal, doesn't protecting your entries help? And if not, start a new one for the things you don't want to say in your regular journal. I think writing it out helps to GET it out, if you know what I mean. I hate to think he's having any more influence in any way over the choices you make about your life, small as they may be.

People keep asking me how I am, and though I know it's because they care, it's not helping _me_ to have to rehash everything in my head all the time for each new person

ABSOLUTELY- this is what happens to me in my current situation

as long as they don't pat me soothingly on the shoulder while peering into my face with a overly concerned expression...cuz that's when the punch lands. >:P

*imagines you punching the crap outta some poor well-meaning soul*
*giggles more*

Go gettum champ! ;)

try working at the same company where your husband was "laid off"...
they ignore me when others are around then when I am alone ask how DH is doing... i hate it! its like being a widow!

Punch them! Punch them all!! :D

I second what Liz said. You should be allowed your own thoughts and feelings in your journal. You could always make filters for custom groups. They can really help.

*tight hug*

See and I'd be grumpy having to listen to Kansas sing the Point of No Return. I was thinking about you on my way to work this morning and I was just thinking how aggravated you got when your boss was trying to "help" by telling you to read that cheese book. Sometimes you should be allowed to feel what you are feeling and not have someone try and fix it right away, you know. I, myself, am very guilty of trying to fix things when something bad happens. But I've gotten better at letting things be as long as you don't let it hang around forever and feel sorry for yourself, which I know you won't.

I won't? Last time it took me FOUR MONTHS to snap out of it. :P

So maybe you needed four months, but you don't want me to come over there and snap you out of it, do you?

Also, there will be no dissing of the Kansas classics. I just downloaded a bunch of ring signals: BE VERY AFRAID. :P

I am afraid, don't tell me Lola is on there.

ahahahaha! It was on the site, but I restrained myself! I got the Muppets theme show though! woot!


I'm putting all my prayers on the Tetra-Pak - ok- instead on whichever is for your highest good!
I'm glad for the great laugh on the "I wear Roadkill"- LOL
Love and hugs-Lizardmom

I wear Roadkill was too good. Thankyou.

I know what you mean about the endless expectation of people inquiring,"are you ok?"
They, I think, really want you to reassure them.
I got so tired of trying to form words or even thoughts around the evolution of my thought and feeling process in the last big transition. Just when I would take my own internal and much needed step forward someone would come up with that old question again.
Some really meant well. Some were close people, but busy and didn't want to miss any important cues in their busy-ness. Some wanted me to reassure them while pretending to be concerned and helpful. Some were just curiosity seekers.
Why did I have to sort all that out when I already had enough transition and movement and stuckness going on inside, not to mention the symptoms of shock!!
The really helpful people were reassuring, sympathetic, or gave space appropriately. And hugs. And warm tea. And flowers.
When they ask again, just say,"Bring me chocolate! Good chocolate."

I think your point about them wanting to be reassured THEMSELVES is right on the nose.

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lizardek's obiter photos
lizardek's obiter photos

Feeling generous? Be my guest!

I can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.

Abraham Lincoln

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Findus the cat as used in my user icon and header is the creation of Sven Nordqvist.