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SUSPENSION
Still nothing. The suspense is driving me crazy. And people in the office ask me on the average of every 1.2 milliseconds, "have you heard anything yet?" That snapping sound you hear? It's me.

The other reason I'm close to snapping? Drama. It's everywhere. It pops up when you least expect it. It floors you and flabbergasts you and leaves you stunned and reeling. How do people have the energy for the drama?! Honestly, it's all I can do to get up in the morning, go to "work," layout stuff, make copies, throw things away, chat on the phone with friends, surf the web, run a cursory job search, wonder WHEN ARE THEY GOING TO CALL ME WITH A JOB OFFER??, go home, feed my children, answer emails, leave for whatever thing it is I have to be at that evening, come home, run the dishwasher, put the laundry in, pick up the house, go to bed. WHO HAS TIME FOR THE DRAMA?

I was recently accused of giving off a "bad vibe" to someone. This is not someone who I am close to, but someone I am friendly to when we happen to meet. Apparently I've been giving off this bad vibe for quite a while now, without realizing it. And I stopped and thought, well, hmmm...let's see...I struggled hard with turning 40 all this spring and summer, I was gone for an entire month, and when I returned I found out I was losing my job and have been jobhunting frantically for the past 3 weeks. Distracted much? Yes. Thank you.

Here's the thing. It's NOT about you all the time.

There were other things going on that need to be addressed not just by me, but by the AWC and its board, but that is a separate issue.

I apologized for hurting this person's feelings, because I genuinely don't want people to think I'm a self-centered, oblivious, uncaring snob. But the whole thing made me tired. As they say in Sweden, I just don't have the ork for any drama right now.

If Only I'd Known This BEFORE the Interviews: Bad Questions
 tired
mood: tired
music: The Crickets—That'll Be The Day


Comments

Drama does suck badly. Hope you hear the good news about the job really soon! *smile*

It's odd how some people don't take into account the current situation when they make a judgement of your mood. That's not saying people should be super intuative, sometimes they just don't know these things. But when a friend seems out of sorts surely it's better to ask if anything's up than just tell them they're bringing you down?

I hope you get the call you want soon, I can't imagine how frustrating it is for you at the moment. I have my fingers crossed for you.

Yes, I totally agree, but the thing was that this person assumed I was looking down on her, or mad at her, or something. :( And taking the degree of "friendship" into consideration, and the amount of times we've had any contact at all in the last 4 months, I was completely floored. Hopefully, it's all straightened out now, but I was really left feeling rather flat. And thank you :)

because I genuinely don't want people to think I'm a self-centered, oblivious, uncaring snob.

I know you said this about yourself, but maybe that COULD be this other person's problem? They're too wrapped up in their own things to consider how you may/may not be coping.

*big hug* You have EVERY SINGLE RIGHT to be self-centred and egotistical right now. I see the job hunting thing as a 'survival' mode - until you're not hunting, then you are in survival mode. This means you focus on your family and yourself. That is what you're SUPPOSED to do. The fact you still are committed to so many other things just shows what a superstar you really are. *big reassuring hugs* Don't worry, there are lots of us who DO understand and are supporting you through all of this no matter WHAT mood or 'vibe' you're giving off. :)

*tosses you a pack of chocolate covered raisins* :)
Do not apologise for surviving. Ever.

And don't forget, we are ALL allowed bad days too, even you!

I'm allowed a bad day, too? *dances around*

*stops*

*rips open bag of chocolate-covered raisins*

*gobbles*

Office politics suck. That was nice that you apologized even though you didn't have to especially since you probably won't be working that much longer with her anyway. People like that are just insecure/jealous and want attention because they have nothing better to do.

Actually, it's not even someone at work. :) It's politics of another kind.

It's common, there's even a psychological name for it, but it escapes me at the moment - we have a tendancy to filter/interpret events through the self, rather than externally through the eyes of the person in the situation. Often, we blame their victim of any situation for what's happening to them. It's silly, but it happens.

Also, what's "ork" mean? :>

Ork is literally "strength" or "stamina"

You can also use it as a verb, as in: Jag orkar inte. or I can't deal with it.

Oh - I know well that bad vibe thing - It drives me to distraction that people always think it is about them. (I'm not naming any names - Shirly, my dad's x - oops)

I love the work ork. I am going to adopt it as part of my speach. I will practice today. I'm sorry boss, I don't have the ork to complete this design. (badvibesbadvibes - Its NOT about YOU!)

Drama. I am was wishing for drama yesterday. Be careful what you wish for, my mother always said.

LOL :) You can also use it as a verb: Jag orkar inte means, "I can't deal with it." :P

When I read "ork" I could hear a little whining voice in my head saying "jag orkar inte" . If your kids are like mine, it is a favourite expression when it is room cleaning/toy picking up time. *laugh*

and as she says it, Karin's knees crumple and she falls face first in a heap on the floor. LOL!

I don't have time for the drama thing either. It's amazing how easy one can get roped into it, it's almost like a drug. Luckily, I've made some changes this year that have made my life almost completely drama-free. There are some things you can't change like drama queens at work/school. I guess it's like dying and taxes.

I have that song in my head "Ain't Got Time for the Pain" hee!

The only time I have for drama is when I can watch Days of our Lives...haha. People should really take into account that maybe other people are having a rough time in their lives and that means they may not always be giving off the best vibes. When I meet someone and they're a little off I like to at least be open to the idea that they're having a really shitty day...goddess knows we all have those!

(Anonymous)

Oh my god I LOVE that-- I don't have the ORK for it!!! Whoo hoo I am so going to use that. And you are absolutely right. This is not about you-- it is about how that other person is experiencing you and whatever crapola she is projecting on to you---- I'm glad you cna shrug it off--- you are fantastic and so caring and anything but a snob---- so let her deal with her insecuritites or whatever they are.
~bluepoppy

hmm. Drama does seem to be every corner, and it is always a choice to make it happen, I think. Sweet lizardek, it's very big of you to apologize. I tend to be one of those people sometimes, I can get very upset because I think I'm not wanted or needed, but I've learned to keep my mouth shut, and work it out for myself. I completely agree that so many times we project our self inadequency upon others, and unfairly make THEM pay the price.

The word you were probably looking for was egocentric, only perceiving the universe as it revolves around you and your needs.

We're waiting too... they had better call us tomorrow or it will be a VERY long weekend!

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