zird is the word (lizardek) wrote,
zird is the word

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I'm so revved up my hair is frizzing, my brain is shooting out little sparks and the vertebrae at the base of my spine are clicking and clacking with every spastic movement. I sent emails to both Company A and Company T yesterday telling them that 1 p.m. today is my decision deadline. In addition, I told Company T that a permanent position was a requirement. They have not yet responded...making me wonder if they got the email. Do I dare call? FREEEEEEEEAAAAAAKKK OUT! *wibble*

Nice Night 1
5 women, candlelight, homemade scones with berries and chocolate, a little boy dips a plastic cannon into a plastic cup of soda and sucks it dry. The furniture is overstuffed and the conversation is about books, women, mothers, love, death, bees. 1 of the women has her 4-month old daughter with her, snoozing bonelessly in her arms. 1 of the women is leaving her home and her husband for a year with her children in her country of origin. 1 of the women has struggled with breast cancer over the last year and sits smiling and glowing, in remission. 1 of the women hasn't been around much lately and is re-connecting with friends, it is her little boy beside her. And 1 of the women is me.

Nice Night 2
7 women circle a table, reveling in homemade lasagna and salad, with the anticipation of tiramisu dead ahead. Conversation snaps and crackles. Laughter zings back and forth across the table in wavy zigzags. 1 of the women covers her face with her hands to contain her guffaws. The rest grin at her and laugh, too. Energy is rising off them all in waves, it goes bouncing about the room and comes back to rest in their hair. 1 of the women recently received her permanent residency permit and can stay here now as long as she likes. 1 of the women is newly divorced with small kids and feels trapped here forever. 1 of the women recently had twins and is smiling despite the dark circles under her eyes. 1 of them hates it here with a passion but spends her days nourishing others, finding friends and creating community. I am filled with admiration for all of these women.

Not So Nice Night
Awoke in the darkness to the sound of whispering and muffled coughing. Two heads bent together on the other side of the bed. I peered groggily at the swimmy red numbers of the clock to see it was 4:12 a.m. Another muffled cough and a little voice pleading. Karin climbed in and then proceeded to worm her way head-down under the covers. Her hot little feet pressed against my back, her head completely covered by the end of our heavy duvet. Some time later, unable to get back to sleep because I thought she must be suffocated under there by now, I sat up and flipped the covers off her. Dreamy mumble, squirm, stretch. Some time after that, a rooster crowed. A bit more and Anders' alarm beeps. I know that if I go back to sleep now, getting up when MY alarm goes off in 20 minutes will be torture. I grind my teeth and push Karin's leg off of me. The circles under her eyes today make her look bruised. I avoided checking out my own.

Whoa, Freaky! Zoom (thanks to anniz for the link)

Happy Happy Birthday Wishes to gissa!

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