September 24th, 2003

angel

AUTUMN THOUGHTS

Clouds like fluffy white elephant sheep grazing in a blue meadow. It's breezy and chill, despite the sunshine. I'm inside, ostensibly working, chained to the computer. Working on things that drive me insane. Platform migration for our intranet site. ugh. ick blech.

The tupperware event I was supposed to go to tonight has been postponed, which means I'm free to go to choir, BUT I told Anders I'd stay home anyway, as I know he's completely stressing over the stones, and the car. There are two things wrong with it now. :( So I'll be a good helpmate and parent and deal with kids and do some cleaning so he can work until the light fails. I told him that if it started pouring I was going to choir. :) Not going to the tupperware party is just as well, as despite all good intentions not to buy anything, I always end up with something. Pretty plastic containers just love me and insist on following me home.

Oh well, maybe I'll get some collage time in. I'm nearly done with the last two pages, but not happy with one of them. The other one needs something more, but I haven't figured out quite what it is.

I still have quite a bit of work to do on the AWC newsletter and directory, and we need to start calling people who haven't paid their dues and find out if they are planning on renewing or not. I don't understand why people just assume things. They assume that if they haven't answered, it means they don't want to renew (and they are either scared about telling someone or just don't give a shit), when we think that because they haven't answered, they have forgotten about the email or haven't read it, or haven't gotten around to it, or whatever. I have 3 weeks to get the directory ready to drop off at the printers and only half of our members have renewed, so that's approximately 50 people that need to be contacted.

I find myself occasionally wondering why no one posts comments on a journal entry, and then have to remind myself that it doesn't really matter. I'm supposed to be writing this for me, not you, and if you join me once in awhile along the way, that's great. It's not the ultimate reason why I'm doing this, however. The lively community aspect of LJ is very attractive, however, and it's nice to be a part of it, and easy to get sucked in. I am not looking for validation, in that sense.

Sometimes I think I should just treat LJ as a far-away friend that I'm writing letters to. That would mean a lot more rambling, I'm afraid. Or that I should use it as a creative-writing outlet and post more poetry or short works, but so far these journal entries ARE my short works. :) Other times I think I'm using it as an archive; a place to post things for future reference.

My junior-high school gang of girlfriends is planning a reunion (there are 9 of us) next summer in Oregon. Some of these women I haven't seen since we were 15. One, Becky, is my all-time best and oldest friend in the world. She and I didn't see each other for 11 years, then after I was living in Chicago and making boatloads of money, I could afford to travel to New Mexico and then Oregon to see her quite often. She was my Best Woman at my wedding and she's the only other person besides my husband who knows all my deep dark secrets.

I saw Kelly once during the time I lived in Chicago, when she came to visit. I met up with Julie last summer while we were home in Michigan. Jill, Denise, Robin, Angelica, Karin and I haven't seen each other since 1979. We all found each other again about a year and a half ago, thanks to the wonder that is email and alumni websites, and have been in email contact ever since. I can't wait to see them all again, even though I really really ought to try and lose some weight beforehand :) Part of me knows that they won't give a shit what I look like. We're going to regress completely for 3 days, I'm sure :) We were the biggest geeks in junior high and it was great.
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    No Doubt—Don't Speak