April 29th, 2004



All along the edge of Pildamms Park in Malmö, where the water is, the city has planted pearl hyacinth in zigzaggy waves in the stretch of grass between the bike path and the walking path. It goes for almost a mile, a wavy wiggle of purple and green, under the trees. By the edge of the water, we stopped and watched a swan gliding and posing, and 7 tumbly ducklings waddling after their mother. The kids behaved beautifully at choir practice last night. Karin came and sat with me and then put in a song request so we sang Vår Dudileja twice for her. She calls it the Doo Dah song. :)

So.Tired. wah wah wah I'm working on the research plan of "how close one can get to the wall without actually hitting it." In Sweden, one can take sick leave for burn-out and get paid for it. Hmmm....I don't really think I qualify yet, although I'm getting there faster than makes me comfortable. The last thing I want to bore anyone with is my grumblings over my self-inflicted busy-whiner lifestyle.

I started to list the things I think are wrong with me but it got a little out of hand. By the end of the list I was convinced I had a brain tumor.

All those people with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome? How do they know?! Do they just stay in bed one morning? What do they do when they have kids and their husband is in Italy on a business trip? Do they just let the kids get their own damn breakfast? This was my 6 a.m. fantasy today. You'll be relieved to know we all ate a healthy breakfast. I made Martin's day by allowing him to have half a bagel (we split it).

My friend Emily and I were trying to find a possible evening we could get together in May and my entire calendar is nearly full. We're also trying to figure out a day before June 12th to have a baby shower for a friend of ours. I consider it a sign of something seriously wrong with me when the thought of any additions to my schedule brings tears to my eyes. The thing is, I like being busy! I do! I THRIVE on it, normally. It can't just be WORK causing all this freakazoidal mindsquiggle, can it? And NO, I am not pregnant. *holds up crossed fingers and hisses*

I want to think happy thoughts again. I want to focus on the positive and not the negative. I want to stop feeling guilty about the Friends List whittling I did the other day. I want to sleep and sleep and sleep. I want my mommy.

Excellent Pranks: Running Low on Post-It Notes and Tinfoiled Apartment

Writers, Take Note!: Tomorrow is the deadline for submissions for the next issue of Mosaic Minds. The theme is Heroes & Role Models, and publication date is May 15th.
  • Current Music
    Humpe Humpe—Yama-Ha


If I was meeting you for the very first time and I wanted to give you an idea of what kind of person I am, but couldn't actually tell you in so many words, this is the baker's dozen things that I would put into a box* for you to look at, read, listen to, and taste so that you could get to know me.
  • Webster's Collegiate Dictionary

  • mix tape with a homemade cover containing (among others) The Carpenter's On Top of the World, Mozart's Eine Kleine Nacht Musik, Smash Mouth's Walkin' On The Sun, Peter Paul & Mary's If I Had Wings, and Number Nine Martian Cutie from Sesame Street

  • full but firm pillow with a forest green pillowcase

  • calligraphy pen with a left-handed nib and a bottle of burgundy ink

  • framed lithograph of Alphonse Mucha's Dance

  • meal consisting of a salmon fillet sautéed with lemon pepper, fluffy white jasmine rice with butter, salt and black pepper, fresh green asparagus tips, a cold and bubbly glass of Classic Coke with ice, and for dessert, white chocolate and raspberries wrapped in pastry dough and baked in the oven

  • comfortable reading chair with a deep seat, plump upholstery and high padded arms that you can swing your legs up over

  • Palm One Zire 21 Personal Digital Assistant

  • battered copies of Mister God, This is Anna by Fynn, A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle and Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

  • bouquet of snapdragons

  • deck of playing cards

  • collection of poetry containing (among others) The First Duino Elegy by Rainer Maria Rilke, Question by May Swenson, The Fish by Elizabeth Bishop, and I am A Light You Could Read By by Marge Piercy

  • little black and white short-haired cat (don't worry, there are holes in the box, Schroedinger)
I probably forgot something. What would you put in YOUR box?

*inspiration from lonita
  • Current Music
    Sundays—My Finest Hour