January 11th, 2005

hobbes-ponder

EENY MEENY MINY MO

The sun is shining as hard as it can between the jet trails. It bums me out that I have to draw the curtains at work when I have such a short time to enjoy the sunshine to begin with. I want to fling the curtains wide, open the window and lean out, breathing deeply of the crisp, cold air. I want to watch my breath curl and smoke and pretend I'm a dragon. The other day as I was driving to work up the hill to Lund I saw a huge flock of birds, black against the lavender-blue* sky ahead of me. It looked like a troop movement, with several platoons in v-formation grouped together, migrating across the world. Something about them threw me and I strained to make them out, while keeping an eye half on the road, and figure out what kind of bird they were. For a few moments, there was something wrong...their necks were too long, and their wings too big. Were they cranes? Then I got closer and realized they were swans. A battalion of swans, flying in formation, winging away west.

After talking it over with Anders and doing some major thinking, I'm going to call Company T and say thank you, but no thank you. It's too soon to job-jump again, especially when things are going so well where I am. I'm still torn about that job, and wish I were able to do two things at once, be in two places at once, but I've already been learning the hard lessons involved with that. Much as I think the other job and the other company is still attractive, I need to concentrate on what I am doing now. I can't keep second-guessing myself and my work. Even if I have some niggling little doubts about THIS job, and some admittedly minor problems with the ways things are done around here, I would be a fool to jump again for no real reason. If it was six months or a year down the line, it would be easier to talk to them again I think. Then I would have a better idea of how this job will be in the long run, and how happy I am with my future here. But for now, I'm content to stay put.

Tonight is book group, and once more I haven't read the book, since the library order never came through. I doubt I'll read this one later, as I did with the last one, Everything is Illuminated, because at the moment I have so many books I want to read sitting in 2 huge piles at home, and The Feminine Mystique isn't even close to being on my own personal list of books I want to read. Not that I don't think there is a mystique to being feminine or that it's not a worthy book, but unless someone gives me a better argument tonight as to WHY I should read this book right now, it will probably remain on my list of books that I haven't gotten around to, along with War and Peace and The Grapes of Wrath.

Book group needs a shot in the arm, some new blood, something. We've had a great core group of people over the last couple of years but the times, as usual, are a-changing, and we've lost several people and, I think, some of our focus. gale_storm had mentioned trying a book exchange group, perhaps in addition to regular book group, and I think I'll bring it up tonight and see what people say. Even if this particular group doesn't want to change, I think we have to in order to survive. Maybe we need to do some recruiting within the club and get some new people involved.

*dilly dilly
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