January 23rd, 2005



Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.

What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.

Two strings walk into a bar. The first tries to order something. "I don't serve strings in this bar," the bartender says roughly and throws him out. The second roughs himself up, ties his ends together, walks in, and orders. "Hey, didn't you hear what I told your buddy?" the bartender says. "Yeah," the string says. "Aren't you a string?" the bartender says. "I'm a frayed knot," the string replies.

A man walked into a bar and sat down, ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer, he heard a soothing voice say, "Nice tie!" Looking around he noticed that the bar was empty except for himself and the bartender. A few sips later the voice said, "Beautiful shirt." At this, the man called the bartender over. "Hey, I must be losing my mind," he told the bartender. "I keep hearing these voices saying nice things, and there's not a soul in here but us."
"It's the peanuts," answered the bartender. "They're complimentary."

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.

Two muffins are in the oven. One says, "Geez, it's hot in here, isn't it?"
And the other one says, "Aaaaaah! A talking muffin!"

When ducks fly in a V, why is one side of the V longer than the other?
There are more ducks on that side.

Why don't seagulls fly in the bay?
Because they don't want to be bagels.

A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Ya got any grapes?"
The bartender looks sternly at the duck and replies, "No, we don't have any grapes. This is a bar, and we don't serve ducks anyway. Now get out of here!"
The duck walks away but returns to the same bar the next day and says, "Ya got any grapes?"
To this the bartender looks very sternly at the duck and replies, "No, we don't have any grapes. I told you yesterday that we didn't have grapes and that we didn't serve ducks. Now get out of here. If you come in here again, I'm going to nail your feet to the floor!"
The duck walks away unfazed and again returns to the same bar on the next day. He walks up to the bartender and says, "Ya got any nails?"
The bartender replies, "No, we don't have any nails! This is a bar!"
So the duck says, "Ya got any grapes?"

Why do turds taper?
So your butt won't slam shut!
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Flat Stanley arrived in Sweden last week, but since Martin & Karin, and more importantly, the camera, were gone, we were forced to wait until today to give him a tour of Flyinge. He was sent here by my sister's daughter Rachel, and will be heading to Germany tomorrow for a quick tour of "Mad King" Ludwig's castles with johann_metzger before heading back to Virginia to share his travels with Rachel's class. He'll be taking along a viking helmet and a Swedish flag and we've uploaded photos of his visit to Flyinge.

Yesterday was a gorgeous clear sunshiney day, but I didn't have the camera until Anders and the kids got home in the evening. So, today we started out after lunch, and it was SNOWING LIKE CRAZY. Which it still is. :) Which made it a bit hard to take decent pictures.

Anyway, Stanley went with us (in his very own stylish pink snowsuit, as you will see) to the Flyinge Kungsgård Stables, the former Royal Stables for all of Sweden. The horse center and stables is one of the oldest in the world, with buildings from the 12th century. In 1661 it became a national royal stable by order of King Karl Gustaf the Tenth, and in 1983 it turned over to Flyinge Township. (Official photos from Flyinge Kungsgård) Not just a stable, it is also a breeding center, a vocational college, a veterinary school and a competition training center. The stables house over 200 horses, and in cooperation with other farms and estates in the area, there are over 600 horses in Flyinge. We took a photo of him with one of the horses (named Brunte) and behind the stables we took some photos with the storks.

The Flyinge Stork Project raises storks and releases them into the wild. Parts of Flyinge are protected wetlands where the storks can move freely and find the kind of food they need. We often see them out in the fields, and their huge nests cover almost all of the chimneys at the stables.

Then we went to Flyinge's very own runestone. The inscription reads: The East-Gårdstånga Runestone: Cited by Skonvig circa 1623, by Worm 1643, and Wadbeck 1667. It originally stood in Västervång in a group of raised stones. Around 1593 it was moved to an estate near the present East Gårdstånga, and in the 1830's it was moved to Flyinge Kungsgårds Park, then brought back to its present site in 1947. The stone is from the Viking era (800-1050 B.C.) The text of the runes on the stone reads: "Tholv and Ulv raised these stones in memory of their comrade Asmund Lippe."

See Flat Stanley's visit to Flyinge, Sweden!

Kungsgård: Kungz-gourd; Flyinge: Flee-ing-eh; Gårdstånga: Gourd-stow-ng-ah; Västervång: Vest-er-voh-ng

Really Great Writing Out There Right Now: Where the Boys Are

Promise of Spring Joyous Birthday Wishes to ladyvox!

Too Cute! Clean Your Computer Screen for Free! (thanks for the link, ladyvox!)
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