December 3rd, 2005

cocked and loaded


A lot of what's been on my mind lately has been work-related and not in a good way, and since I won't talk about work here, I feel like my not being able to talk about work here has been sort of blocking my being able to talk about ANYTHING here.

I could lock up the post, I suppose, and get it out, but to be honest, I'm still chewing several things over in my head, and I don't really want or need advice, because it's not that kind of thing, it's more general observations and a bit of discomfort and some sadness that people don't always behave in the ways one expects or in the ways one believes are RIGHT.*

It's not so much that I hold everyone to my own standards, except that you know...I DO. I DO hold them to my own standards. That might sound very snobby but whose standards am I supposed to hold them to if not my own? I'm always surprised when people don't live up to my standards. Aren't you? Oh, I don't mean everyone. And I don't mean all the time. In fact, not even I live up to my own standards (which in some ways constantly surprises me and in other ways doesn't surprise me at all).

I guess most of the time people just go along, bumping into each other and interacting, and socializing and doing the things people do and I never think about what my standards are until someone does something I WOULDN'T DO. And I don't mean things like "get drunk" or "eat black-eyed peas" even though those are things I wouldn't do. It's not that kind of "wouldn't do."

Perhaps you might think, from reading this, that I consider my standards to be higher or better than everyone else's but that's not at all the case. They are just MINE. And I, like everyone else, make judgements about other people based on where they land on my standards ladder. And I'm always saddened and disappointed when someone I assumed met my standards, whether I know them well or not, does something that shows they don't. Most of the time I can just shrug and shake my head, or roll my eyes, and move on, but other times it really bothers me, and it bothers me more because it's such a futile thing to bother about. Thus, the not being able to writ...oh. Never mind.

I need a 24-hour nap. I need a full body massage. I need a housekeeper and a personal assistant and another couple of months before Christmas. None of which I'm going to get. If I ran the world things would be different around here. :P

Really Great Writing Out There Right Now: iWonder

*There are some of you who might think this post is directed at you, but it's not. It has been brought to you solely by things that have happened in my real life by people in no way whatsoever connected with this journal.


I have Christmas on the brain at the moment. It's because I finished doing the house decorating today, with Martin's help. All we have left in boxes are the tree ornaments, but we won't be getting a tree until the 17th, because tomorrow we're visiting friends and next weekend we've got Martin's birthday party on Saturday and about 42 million calendar commitments on Sunday, of which we've chosen 3 to attend. I think. It's hard to keep track.

I've started the layout for our annual Christmas newsletter and gotten all my Christmas cards out of the back of the closet, only to discover that I don't have enough and will have to buy some more. If you want a card, please email me your address!* 1 more present to mail to the States and still need to buy a few things for Anders and the kids, my brother and Simone, Anders' dad and sister's kids. I really want to get the tree up and decorated, though. That's such a long job that it makes me nervous to leave it until so close to Christmas.

I've also done some Christmas decorating here at the obiter dictum...check out my new banner! :D

It occurs to me that I haven't really put my OWN wish list into writing for Anders or my family, but I got my Christmas presents early from both my sister and my mom (which, stop with that, will you? It's no fun come Christmas morning), and I'm not sure what I want anyway, besides the fantasy presents enumerated in my last entry.

Other ways it's Christmassy around here:
  • Rudolph, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, Little Drummer Boy and The Grinch have been in heavy rotation on our VCR
  • I can't stop singing Have a Holly Jolly Christmas
  • Martin keeps asking for kisses under the mistletoe ornaments
  • Christmoose towels in the moose bathroom
  • Just did the layout for our Christmas concert program (Free! December 8th, 6:30 p.m., MAS 44)
  • The overwhelming smell of peace on earth and goodwill toward men all in the air. *sniff* Smell that? Mmmmmmmm
*liz arde k @ ya hoo .c om