March 21st, 2010

holding heart


Feeling torn, feeling worn, wanting to write here but feeling as if my heart and head are elsewhere. Would I had the money and time to fly across the ocean even if just to BE there, to do what I could to help, even knowing that nothing I could do will help. Thank you all for your kind words. And thank you, thinkum for a really concrete way to BE there for my friend.

I've spent the weekend staring at my children, hugging them a little too hard, talking to my mom, my husband, my brother and sister, writing letters and cards, sending flowers and birthday gifts, my head not really here. I took the kids to the movies with my cousin Cate and her daughter on Saturday and even did some shopping. I've spent the weekend on autopilot, too: reading a book and a half, napping, doing laundry, doing dishes, vacuuming and picking up. It's amazing what you can get done even when you're not really lending your conscious mind to your actions.

This is going to be a travelin' year. In addition to the 6 weeks that Anders has already been gone, he has at least 2 more trips this spring to Italy, and a 3-week trip to Shanghai in the fall. I have two 2-week trips planned for the fall, one to Boston and one to (!) Singapore. We are planning a 4-week vacation to the States in the early summer and, possibly, a 1-week vacation to Italy in the fall. There will apparently be no time or energy for house projects this year. Crazy times.

I have never been closer to Asia than Istanbul, and despite the veritable plethora of sightseeing opportunities on the eastern side of the globe, it's never really registered high on my list of places to go (except Australia). So, planning a work trip to Singapore has me in a bit of a tizzy. I know nothing about the place, what to expect, what to beware of, what to plan for, what to do while I'm there when I'm not actually working.

It's dark out now. All day the winds blew and the clouds rolled by. It's been chilly and grey and there are still a few snowscabs lying low, clinging to the yard. My hands ache. My heart, too.

Perfect Life Icing on the Top Belated Birthday Wishes to brief_therapy and to Amy Today!
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