April 6th, 2010

cocked and loaded


Quit'cher bellyachin' and write! is what my inner author keeps yelling at me. All day I've been ignoring it, trying to cover it over with one part of my mental mantle. If you want to write, just write. Put your (figurative) pen to (virtual) paper and let come what may. As a wise commenter said (short of slapping me and yelling "Snap out of it!"): Words are never wasted.

There were these things today, things I noticed: the way the water cleared and cleaned the pot I made soup in, the scarlet strip of sunset out across the fields. Pheasants with a death wish on the long hill up to Lund. A perfect avocado: sliced in half around the pit, pulled open to reveal pale tender fruit, the pit popped up and a spoon to scoop, the lingering creamy taste of summer salads.

There were these things, too: that my daughter's head under my chin tilts it very slightly up; that my son stops in to give me hugs when he's been away from me for a few hours; that my husband laughs at my comebacks and moves his feet to make room for me on the couch.

I'm re-reading a humongous fantasy series (Marion Zimmer Bradley's Darkover books) which contains OVER 40 books in total, including anthologies. I don't have them all and am not planning on reading the short story collections, but am a little torn about the time commitment that this requires. I just started the 9th book and it's taken me about a month to get this far (with one interruption for a book club book) and at this rate it will be summer before I'm done. The reasons why I am re-reading the whole series are 1) it's been a very long time since the last time I read them and I've been wanting to immerse myself in comfort reading old favorites for awhile and 2) I have one of the latest books in the series and have this obsessive need habit of re-reading all the previous books in a series before I can read the new one. It's okay when it's 2 or 3 books but when it's 30+ it suddenly becomes a bit more problematic.

Things that are occupying brain-space lately: 2 people I know have died recently and I am scared about that stupid "comes in threes" superstition, despite knowing that it's all coincidence. How we can possibly afford to add a short trip to Chicago into the middle of our already expensive summer vacation to the States. My weight, again. My tendency to live in the much-anticipated future so much that I forget to enjoy the moments of now. (I need that Field Guide, please go pledge, won't you?)

Reasons why I am evil and mean, according to my children:
  • I often tickle them into submission when they won't do what I want
  • They can only have 10 pieces of candy on Friday for myskväll—and sometimes it has to last all weekend
  • They can only have soda on Friday and Saturday unless we're at a party at someone else's house
  • Even on Friday and Saturday, they have to drink their milk first
  • I make them go to the grocery store with me
  • I rarely fetch things for them, even when they ask nicely, since their legs ain't broke
  • I kick them off the computer to check email IN THE MIDDLE OF A GAME
  • Homework first! Then games
  • I cheat at yellow car with gold ones
  • I say "Use your head!" a lot
  • I don't give in to puppy eyes or blandishments or begging
  • No one does Muahahahahaha! better than I do
On Friday I'm hosting the Wonders and I'm debating about what to serve: Artichoke-baked chicken or steak with Karl Johan mushroom sauce and roasted almond potatoes. Eeny meeny miny mo!