August 21st, 2010



Darkening days, rainy & grey, a most-welcome burst of sunshine at the end of the week...suddenly it's been a handful since I've posted, a week, more. Time flows like a snapping ribbon, winding me along with it and even during the dragging moments it moves as fast as I blink. Blink! Another one gone. Each day a precious snapshot of time now past that wasn't captured or appreciated nearly as much as I would have liked.

I sleep a more solid sleep when Anders is gone: I'm not half-awake for hours waiting for him to come to bed and I don't awaken from the jostle and soft rustlings when he does slide under the covers, but my body keeps moving over trying to find him. I spread out, hog the covers, steal his pillows, but it doesn't make up for his absence. Even wishing he would come to bed already is better than his being half a world away in a Chinese hotel room.

Single-parenting is tiresome, as good and helpful as my children are. And don't get me wrong, they're GOOD. Martin has mowed the lawn once already and Karin is going to do it tomorrow. They've both helped to clean house and take out garbage and feed the fish. Martin has been home alone since Wednesday when Karin started school, and he's managed his own lunch for 3 days. But I miss having my husband around to bounce ideas off of, to work out the schedule of the week, to take half the cooking duties, to smile at across the dinner table. Two more weeks. This part of time-passing drags.

The first Little Big Bookgroup was this past Wednesday night and it went well, considering that there were only 3 of us parents there to drive the conversation, since most of the kids clammed up. But they were enthusiastic and, with coaxing, most of them entered the discussion. They all agreed that Watership Down was good, and the next book (The Hunger Games) and date have already been chosen. This week is regular Book group, again at my place, and I just have to figure out what to serve and how to get Karin home from soccer practice since it ends after people have arrived.

We were at a friend's 40th birthday bash tonight, which was fun. She had a great cover band that did a fantastic job, belting out excellent covers of everything from Sultans of Swing to Play That Funky Music White Boy and I even managed to get Martin out on the dance floor with me for one slow song. It's official: he's reached my height.

But just now I yawned so big I thought my head would split open and the top half tilt back as if on hinges, so I think it's time to power down and fall asleep with my arm across Anders' side of the bed; a hug for him who isn't there.

Really Great Writing Out There Right Now: Taking Care