March 17th, 2011

SLUG

CHASING RAINBOWS

Rain streaks the windows and the streetlights spangle through the speckled pattern of droplines. I keep thinking I hear someone's voice from the other room but it's only the rain's soliloquy. A pattering poetry of water and glass and the light shining through them.

Someone at work asked me what's happened to my usual sunny self. She said, "Where's my Liz?" and I couldn't look at her for a moment. I was afraid I'd cry. This whole week has been emotional: the sorrow wells up for the people displaced on the other side of the world, their stories spinning out of their control. An AWC member's family is missing; one wonders if she'll ever know what happened. Today it is a year since my friend Becky's son died under shocking circumstances. I can't fathom a whole year has gone by without him in her world. It doesn't bear thinking upon.

I've done the absolute minimum at home this week. There was no motivation to be found for extra cleaning, purging shelves or drawers or closets, or any of the myriad projects that sit neglected in various rooms. I'm still only halfway through my cassette-to-PC transfer, only partway into my collage book, only minor inroads made in the long list of the inheritance inventory, and the thought of putting together a new best of book is still only that: a thought. I'm ashamed of myself for being such a slug, but I think I've needed it. Sometimes there's no denying the slug its due. A complete downtime with no lists, no calendar entries, no plans. Just me and the rain.

It feels like a Friday, since I'm taking the day off tomorrow. Maybe I'll find motivation in the morning.

Japanese Red Cross
Name of Bank: Sumitomo Mitsui Banking Corporation
Name of Branch: Ginza
Account No.: 8047670 (Ordinary Account)
SWIFT Code: SMBC JP JT
Payee Name: The Japanese Red Cross Society, Donation for Japan earthquake/tsunami
Payee Address: 1-1-3 Shiba-Daimon Minato-ku, Tokyo JAPAN