October 29th, 2019

halloween

PHOTOS I DIDN'T TAKE OF THINGS I MIGHT HAVE SEEN

Four of them leaping, crossing the road from one side of the twilit fields to the other. Tails flashing white, they were gone into the dimness so fast I only had time to take my foot off the accelerator. I could only see the idea of deer, the bounding impression of them; headless, hornless, just a fading smear across my vision, safe to the other side.

Earlier today, a rising of crows or perhaps, jackdaws. A black flapping into the trees. The things I see from the drive to and from work: storks stepping sedately, a couple of shine-eyed cats on the verge, the brightest red bush against the white stucco of a neighbor's home, two head-sized pumpkins carved and glowing. There's no time to stop and shoot; they're just stamps of reality against my eyes: look! see! too late, you've gone by.

Some things I see over and over, and admire in the flashing seconds before I'm past: a turquoise door on a tumble-down building, a lone perfectly-shaped tree that stands silhouetted against the sky as I come up the hill. The sun rising over piled sugar beets, the fog wreathing the wind turbines, all the red, red berries hanging heavy on the leafless trees. Can you still call it foliage when it's leafless?

Daylight savings ended and now it's just dark all the time that we're at home. It's just getting light when I leave for work in the morning; today I had to scrape windows as it was near zero. But the sun shone all day and the sky was the extremely perfect robin's-egg blue with no clouds that you wish for in summer. I have to start remembering that sunny no longer means warm. It was BRRRRRY cold today. I was glad of my scarf.

Difficult to believe that Halloween is 2 days away. I miss the Halloween of my childhood. I miss the Halloween of my children's childhood. I miss the Easter and the Christmas of those as well, but that's another post. I miss carving pumpkins with the kids and decorating with bats and skeletons and black cats. Now, I just don't 1) have time or 2) care that much to do those things without them. I didn't do those things much before I had kids (as an adult, I mean), so I guess it makes sense that I'd revert once they were grown, but when I think about it (which is often this time of year) it makes me a little sad. That darn nostalgia! I DO have a giant bowl of candy ready for the neighborhood kids on Thursday, so guess I'd better fling some spiderwebs around the door and get out the bat deelybobbers.

Karin is planning to have a (late) Halloween party on Saturday, here at the house. She wants us to vacate until super-late but I said I'll come home when I want to and if that's too early for her, then too bad. We haven't made plans yet, but maybe we'll go see a movie. Maybe we'll stop at the little brewery pub in the village on the way home, since we haven't been there yet, though I don't know how late they're open. Maybe I'll come home and make them turn the music down! And kick them out! Maybe I'll be dressed as a WITCH when I do it! *cackles*