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I loved living alone. There was something so satisfying about having my own space, my own things around me, everything just how I wanted it. I've only lived alone once and for a rather short time, in Chicago. It was between 1993 and 1995, 2 years before I met Anders and during the point when I was fed up with boyfriends and the whole dating scene.

After having had roommates continually from 1982 when I started college until then, I figured it was a good time to try living alone. I didn't know it would create a need in me for my own space. 510 Melrose was an old apartment building in the Lakeview neighborhood of Chicago, one block from the lake. I could see Lake Michigan and the trees of the lakefront park from my windows. I had a 1-bedroom apartment with 2 huge walk-in closets, a big livingroom, a tiny kitchen with a dining nook, a workable bathroom, a wall of windows and wall-to-wall grey carpeting. I LOVED it. I miss it to this day. As much as I love our house and my family, and the life that I have now, there are days when the longing for that apartment is overwhelming.

Pooka and Toby and I thrived in that apartment. My furniture and my belongings were arranged harmoniously and to my desire. It was never a mess because I kept it clean...except for not making my bed—a bad habit I've never conquered. The ceilings were high and the closet in the living room, which was covered in mirrored squares, used to enclose a murphy bed, but for me was the repository of my work wardrobe. I don't think I can adequately convey the feeling of peace and at-home-ness that I felt living there.

I never had to pick up after anyone but myself. I never had to tell anyone else to clean up their stuff. I never had to compromise my decorating tastes for someone else. It was MY space in which to house my body and my soul.

If I wanted to spend the weekend in my pajamas, migrating slowly back and forth between bed and sofa with a book, I could. Pooka and Toby would happily curl up with me and my book wherever I came to rest. I could work on projects, nap, write, fix lunch, watch a movie, all on my own schedule. I could lie on my sofa and look around my apartment and just smile quietly, with total happiness in the space I found myself in.

Yesterday, I slept in, then I puttered around the house in pajamas and read a book. Then I fixed lunch and tidied up the house, and vacuumed. I cleaned the bathrooms and ran the dishwasher. Before going out to play pool (yes! I know!) and have dinner with the girls, I stood in the center of my quiet clean house and smiled. It will stay just how I want it for 8 days. The only thing missing was the cats. I'll be wishing for my family soon...but not quite yet. :)

Cracking Me Up: Say What?

Really Great Writing Out There Right Now: Mosaic Minds
mood: content
music: Bob Mould—Wishing Well


Ah to be alone and have all of your stuff as you leave it.... smile... I miss that too... I prefer DH and DD to being alone but oh somedays I yearn for peace and tranquility!


I, too, loved living alone and having an apartment to myself...but I've had roommates much more often than live-alone time. Since it's just the two of us here, I get plenty of alone time when he heads off to a gig. I'm sure sometimes he comes home (hours later) and wonders, "What did she DO all that time?" Because, believe me, housework wouldn't be at the top of MY fun list! (Like right now: I'm watching "Terms of Endearment" in the background and scarfing a bag of Hershey's caramel-filled kisses.) Glad you're enjoying your time. And, hey, pool and dinner with the gals on a Saturday night?! High times, baby! :) ~Marilyn


I've never had a chance to live alone, going straight from college to boyfriend, to friends, to boyfriend. Although I wouldn't change anything, I do think I would have enjoyed having my own space, just as you described.

Curiously enough, I can go shamefully long without doing any substantial cleaning but I must make my bed every morning.

Enjoy the week!


That was a great place. I loved that time when we all lived in Wrigleyville. I think I helped you move in that place. I'm sure I've blocked it out because it was so painful.(all those books) :)
I loved just walking down your street, looking up at your window, content just knowing you were close by. I guess I was stocking up for when you would move half way around the world.


Yeah..and I am oh so happy because I can finally access this journal again after nearly 3 deprived weeks when someone! played with (ate) the cookies so I couldn't get here!!! oh joy for connection.....which is all the more meaningful after a time for aloneness with contentment - enjoy your week! Love, Lizardmom :)

You did help me move in, along with Sharon and Will. :)

Hi, I keep seeing you in about half my friends' journals, so I thought I might as well add you... ;-))

I've only ever lived alone, so I wouldn't really know what it was like not to live alone. ;-)

welcome! :) I've seen you around, as well. Thanks for taking the initiative! :D

you're always a queen

It's so cool that you carry that magical time/apartment inside of you-- it's always with you even when you are surrounded by family, etc . . . have a MAH-velous week dahlink. ~bluepoppy

Sounds like Heaven to me. Every year when it's my birthday I go stay in a hotel by myself.

What an EXCELLENT birthday present to yourself! Do you go to dinner and a play, too? I would! :D

*SIGH* Make that a big and heavy sigh. Now, stop posting about your week to yourself because the green-eyed monster in me is going to overtake my body any minute now.

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lizardek's obiter photos
lizardek's obiter photos

Feeling generous? Be my guest!

I can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.

Abraham Lincoln

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Findus the cat as used in my user icon and header is the creation of Sven Nordqvist.