February 2nd, 2020

findus

DOWNTIME CHEZ LIZARDEK

I survived last week's crazy but honestly, only by the skin of my teeth (which is a horrid expression, ew). It was grueling with work so busy and something to do every single evening. I didn't get home most evenings until well after 9 and since I typically need to be in bed by 9:30 if I'm going to be worth anything the following day, it was a bit of a struggle to remain both upright and cheerful and I don't think I managed all that well, if truth be told. It wasn't that the things I was doing were hard, or not fun, it was just that it was such a relentless schedule for so many days in a row.

Anders and Karin left for a week-long ski trip in Italy yesterday super-early in the morning and I had my two best friends over for dinner in the evening and that was the start of winding down, finally. We had a lovely long evening of chatting and laughing and eating, and I slept like the dead last night and when I work up at 6:50 this morning, I went right back to sleep, and when I woke up again at 8:30 I went right back to sleep again. :D (then I got up and walked on the treadmill, so I wasn't a complete slug).

I've spent the day taking it easy, getting small things done, at a slower pace and I feel quite relaxed and refreshed and ready to face the week. In which, I might add, I have only ONE evening scheduled (choir). Poor Anders and Karin's bags didn't arrive and they don't have any clothes, including their ski suits, so they are not having a fun beginning to their trip. This is the second ski trip in January where Karin's bag was late arriving. I had a nice long phone conversation with Martin and now I'm posting before heading to bed to read.

I quite like having the house to myself. I like that what I put away stays put away. I like that after I clean the house it stays clean. I can watch what I want and eat what I want and I can sleep guilt-free about snoring. I know I'll miss them in a few days, but like every time I get a family-free week, I enjoy every minute out of my downtime. It's funny...I don't think of myself as either an extrovert or an introvert, but somewhere in the middle. I'm not a naturally social person, though I think some people would dispute that because I can put on a good show, but really, days like today are what keeps me balanced. I love to enjoy my space and the people around me at a more leisurely pace.

Sometimes when I write about the things I am doing or accomplishing, it makes me feel both pleased and proud, and rather embarrassed. I know that I'm looking for affirmation in some way; everyone needs validation that they've spent their time wisely or usefully, being productive. Getting things done is part of my way of life; it defines me to myself to a large degree. I get things done. And even on the days when I consider that I'm being quite a slug, I am still, often, getting things done. Minor things, maybe, or only a few things, but still...things get done.

Maybe I'd be better off, or more relaxed, if I was able to really be a slug, but I don't see the point. I believe I can alternate relaxation with production in a balanced way, and it works for me. But it IS nice to just have to think about myself for a week. When my family comes home, I'll be better able to think about them, and that anticipation makes it worth it, and makes me happy.