lizardek's obiter dictum lizardek Home Now Then Friends Info Ek Family
zird is the word [userpic]
sore throat. fever. aching. also, nothing to say at the moment. back soon.
mood: sick

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Jokes to cheer you up!

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, "Dam!".

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that; you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?
His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.
Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ...(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did????

Re: Jokes to cheer you up!

Bwahahahaha! Well, they made me laugh, especially #9, as I have to listen to that song nearly once a day.

in my prayers. *hugs* hope the younguns are ok.

They're never sick. Which is good. *fingers crossed*

Sending virtual chicken soup vibes in your direction -- hope you feel better soon!

chicken soup is just what I need!

Get well soon!!

Oh oh, that doesn't sound good, rest plenty, speak little and see you here soon! ((( hugs )))

Oh dear, hope you feel better soon!


NO!!!! Aww, poor baby! Wishing you an afternoon of restorative sloth and bad teevee and super speedy recovery (or at least gentle, easily ignorable symptoms which you can alternately ignore or milk for ultimate sympathy and pampering!)

And following Ozswede's lead:

Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots?
A; bunny farts.

xo Wee (and um... speaking of farts... I've been noticing lately that mine are beginning to smell like lower octane versions of my dog's. What does that mean???!!!)

It means you need to stop stealing the dog biscuits. Hee! Wish I could have all of the above (excluding the dog biscuits) but I have to work. sigh

Hope you get to feeling better soon - both because I don't want you to suffer and because I will miss your commentary!

:) thanks, that was kind of you!

Love the new banner! :)

Hope you feel better very soon. *sends you homemade cookies*

thanks, sweetie :)

((hugs!)) Get well soon!

(no subject) - (Anonymous)

I hope so. man, I REALLY hope so.

Oh, I hope that you feel better soon.

Go see a doctor though if you think it might be strep throat.

At any rate, have hubby and children serve you. You are after all, the QUEEN!!!!

LOL I wish!! Gotta work, unfortunately. :( It doesn't feel like strep, just like a bad cold. bleah

Ouch. Been there. Done That. Get lotsa West Wing DVDs and be gentle with yourself (expectations)

Unfortunately, I have to work and the Swedish libraries don't have any West Wing DVDs...waaah! :(

thank you :) I wish I had someone to make this for me too.

Yuck. Hope you feel better soon. I think I might have a touch of whatever it is you've got, too, so you have my sympathies.

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lizardek's obiter photos
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Feeling generous? Be my guest!

I can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.

Abraham Lincoln

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