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FOOTLOOSE
Stayed home from work for my first post-accident day after discovering that 1) painkillers with red triangles on the package taken the night before make me nauseous and dizzy the next morning, and 2) #@!$%!! crutches!

I can't manage these stupid things at all. I'm more crippled than a one-legged grasshopper in a 3-legged race. The crutches, which, I might add, are now MINE to keep, thanks to a medical system that apparently thinks no one will be bothered to return them and which charges only 75 kronor a piece for them, are not the old-fashioned wooden, rubber-padded, under the shoulders dealies that come to mind when one thinks "crutches." Oh no. The ones I got are the so-called "forearm" crutches...so-called because they actually leave you ARMLESS. Or rather, handless, and you might think that could be a problem, when you already have one less working leg, and need your hands more than ever before and you would be RIGHT. At least with the underarm variety, if you let go of them, they STAY PUT.

Forearm crutches do not stay put. If you let go, they topple gracefully backward and lie on the floor and look up at you with a malicious giggle and say, "Let's see you bend over and pick us up now, gimpy!" and then they giggle again. I would kick them across the room if I had TWO GOOD FEET.

Number of times I had to gracelessly bend on one knee to the floor to pick up a crutch today: 27

Number of times I stopped a crutch from falling from where I had propped it against a counter, a sofa, the desk, a wall, so that I could use one of my hands, while balancing on one leg: 42 GA-FREAKING-ZILLION

Number of cramps in my left buttock caused by balancing on one leg: waaaah!

While talking to Anders during the afternoon, we suddenly realized that I probably won't be able to drive myself to work for a couple of days either (it's my right foot). I called work to see if they could arrange for a taxi to get me there and back, but the HR lady said that it's my own responsibility to get myself to and from work, and the national insurance agency won't pay for such a service until after 14 days of sick leave (which I idiotically decided I didn't need to be on last night)...by which time I won't need the crutches and will be perfectly able to drive myself anyway. Gah.

What's really weird is that THREE of my online friends fell yesterday, although I seem to be the most severely damaged. Is there an epidemic of falling sickness going around? And if so, is there a remedy that I can take? A quick back-on-your-feet cure-all? sigh
 grumpy
mood: grumpy
music: the dryer beeping all the way on the other side of the house


Comments
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Like you've said to me, you're making it hard for me to feel sorry for you. You have such a great sense of humor, even when in tons of pain.

Hope you feel better soon.

How horrid those things sound. I hope your foot gets better really quickly! *hugs*

I thought those forearm cuffs were supposed to keep them semi-attached to you, I guess not?

You poor thing. That's what my grandma always says, and while it drives my mother nuts, it always sounds very sympathetic. Is there no bus you could take to get to work? Or a friend who would be willing to give you a ride for a few days?

The crutches do not stay attached to you, unfortunately. The trick is to lean it against your stomach with the handle sort of pointing into your navel (it pretty much falls that way anyway) when you let go of it.

I thought those things were supposed to sort of clamp onto your forearms, so that you could let go with impunity. :-/

Don't suppose you can work from home at all?

Nope, at least if they are, these don't. Maybe my engineer husband can rig something up for me.

Can't work from home at the moment. wah!

Crutches are impossible but I won't know any other solution to keep you up and moving. Maybe you will get a bit more used to them in the days to come *hopes*

I hope so, too. They SUCK. And they hurt your arms to boot.

I'm warning you, you all stay away from me. I'm old and I might break *backs away slowly*

Wait: three besides you? You, me, Geena, and who else? Another member of the Skåne chapter of the Falling On Our Asses Club?

OUCH!

Sounds like I better be careful tomorrow! (Though based on the membership so far, it sounds like the Skåne chapter of the Falling on Our Asses Club sounds like a pretty cool group!)

I so sympathise with the forearm crutches. I'd never seen them in Australia and was forced to use them when I broke my pelvic bone in Austria ... clumsy me ... with a weak pelvis ... on ice ... in forearm crutches ... not good.

I see Bambi before me. :P

Oh...this whole injury thing totally sucks! I hope you heal up right quick!

thanks, dear :)

Forearm crutches do not stay put. If you let go, they topple gracefully backward and lie on the floor and look up at you with a malicious giggle and say, "Let's see you bend over and pick us up now, gimpy!" and then they giggle again. I would kick them across the room if I had TWO GOOD FEET.

OMG!!! i was completely incapacitated for several minutes on reading this. i spit coffee on my keyboard!

*hugs* sorry for taking pleasure in your pain *giggle*

Glad I could spread some joy :P

(no subject) - (Anonymous)

Thank you for the well wishes. I cried like in the car on the way home, and while I was waiting for my husband to get home to take me to the hospital. It did help!

Oh, and this is just a comment to make you grin a little, despite your uncooperative foot.

::points at icon and grins back::

*sitting here giggling helplessly at your icon*

You should talk to your insurance company. If you have an olycksfallsförsäkring, it is probable that help with transportation is included.
Right now I don't remember if you fell on your way to or from work, but if you did your company probably has an olycksfallsförsäkring that you can use. Getting to and from work is always included in the workplace insurance.

I'll check that out, thanks! I didn't fall at work, so work won't pay for anything.

Oh, I so sympathize. I won't bother telling about the _two_ times I fell and broke my tailbone. Bleah.

Did you break your ankle or sprain it? Phooey either way! I send your ankle (and your butt) get-well wishes. :)

:) sprained the top of my foot, not the actual ankle apparently, plus a really severe bruise to the heel. Thanks for the well wishes, although my butt doesn't need them. :P

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