zird is the word (lizardek) wrote,
zird is the word
lizardek

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A VACATION IS HAVING NOTHING TO DO AND ALL DAY TO DO IT IN*

I feel like I'm cheating every time I do a photo post instead of writing. And since I did 2 in a row, I definitely have that hands-on-hips, stern-look-over-the-eyeglasses, slight-shaking-of-head thing going on. Any minute now, my mental teacher will wag a warning finger at me as I hang my head in shame. Aja baja, fuskis! as my daughter would say.

Being on vacation at home feels very slothful. Reducing the world's population of flies one THWACK at a time does not make for interesting journal entries, and neither, I am sure, does anyone want to read about my ruthless cleansing of the computer room closets and the map box and the tree's worth of paper containing drawings, scribbles, paintings and artwork that my children have compiled (the 2nd such heap this year). Or the organization of a notebook full of marketing pieces I've done, or cleaning out the fish tank in preparation for fish. In other scintillating newsworthy news, I finally got off my duff and renewed our virus protection program and OY! what a mess our computer was becoming. :( Thank god for Sir Norton and his Shining Steed Anti-Virus!

While cleaning the kid's department this evening, Karin screamed bloody murder and came out to tell me there was a "spider on her underwear." After the initial disbelief on my part, she pulled me behind the door of her room, and pointed dramatically at SHELOB a GIGANTIC SPIDER which was attempting to hide behind a pair of her discarded undies. It had legs as long as mine and bloodthirsty dripping fangs. I kid you not. *shudder* And me without my Great White Hunter home to de-spider us.

S H U D D E R !

I'm really proud that I managed to trap it under a bowl and get it out of the house without losing my shit completely. I did do the augh-SPIDER!-dance a couple of times (and just did it again thinking about it). Normally, I don't mind spiders too much as long as they are 1) out of my sight, 2) not over my head and 3) not as big as a WOLF. A skittering, rabid, ravening WOLF WITH FANGS AND EIGHT LEGS. I just creeped myself out again googling spider pictures trying to find one that matched so I could show you that I am not exaggerating, but I think I will spare both you and posterity and leave the links out.

Keep in mind my children tend to pronounce "th" as "d" when reading this:
Karin: Mama, what does "the" mean?
Liz: *purses lips, thinks for a moment, gives in to impulse* It's a definitive article of grammar indicating that I am referring to a particular object instead of just ANY ONE of that object.
Karin: *mouth drops open, stares*
Anders: *laughing* That was a good definition to give a 6-year-old.
Karin: NO, Mama, what does DUH mean??
Liz: *pauses while lightbulb slowly comes on over head*...OH! Um...it means someone has said something stupid or obvious and I'm telling them so.
Anders & Martin: *giggle madly*

Martin has picked up the habit of turning to me and saying "Mama, that was for you" every time he farts in my vicinity. I have no idea where he got it from. JOHN?? It doesn't help at all that I laugh every time. My dad would be so proud. :P

Somebody's Birthday is Coming Up, Hint Hint Sushi Confections

*Robert Orben
Tags: blabbiterlickum, offspring
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