1) To the tune of "Doe, A Deer, A Female Deer"
Jaws, a mouth, a great big mouth
Teeth, those things that kind of crunch
Chomp! the way sharks say hello
Us, his favorite quickie lunch!
Blood, which turns the ocean red
Gulp, which means a shark's been fed,
Splash! which makes a swimmer pause...
Which will bring us back to Jaws, jaws, jaws, jaws!
2) Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat
Roast toasty birdy feet
French-fried eyeballs floating in a pool of blood
and me without a spoon!
Here comes the devil, floating down the Delaware
chewing on his underwear
wish he had another pair
10 days later he met a little polar bear
The polar bear gave him rabies!
3) I've been working on the railroad, all the livelong day!
I've been working on the railroad, just to pass the time away.
Can't you hear the whistle blowing? Rise up so early in the morn..ing!
Can't you hear the whistle blowing? Dinah, blow your horn!
Dinah, won't you blow, Dinah, won't you blow, Dinah, won't you blow your ho-ho-horn?
Dinah, won't you blow, Dinah, won't you blow, Dinah, won't you blow your horn?
Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah, someone's in the kitchen I know-oh-oh-oh
Someone's in the kitchen with Di-NAH, strumming on the old banjo!
Fee fi fiddly-i-ay, fee fi fiddly i oh oh oh oh
Fee fi fiddly-i-AYYYYYYYYYYYYYY, strumming on the old banjo!
Questions I've been asked by my children in return that I've answered with varying degrees of success:
1) What's rabies?
2) Why do you say "die-nah" when it's "Someone's in the kitchen with DINNER"?
3) Why did Jesus get hung on a cross? *boggle* (Seriously, Karin asked me that as we sat down to dinner tonight, and I'm afraid I just gaped at her. Then I heaved a huge sigh, and said, "It's complicated, honey, do we have to go into it right now?" and waved at her pancakes. Thankfully, she's easily distracted.)
Happy Package Dances!
HUGE THANK YOU HUGS to the wondrous Sheryl! I got your package today. You might think it would have gotten overlooked in the mountain of stuff that Anders brought home, but I assure you: NOT SO. Thank you thank you!! :)
MORE HUGE GIANT THANK YOU HUGS to Lizardmom, without whom I would be naked and forlorn.
Totally Cracking Me Up: Cartoonist Kills Thousands