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CLOSE AT HAND AND HOLDING ON
My hands are a lot more wrinkled now than they used to be. They're starting to look like my mom's hands, full of soft ridges and character. I keep my fingernails fairly short nowadays, after years of growing them long because I could. Small white crescents above a flattened jujubee of pale pink. I remember once realizing that I had vertical ridges in my fingernails, and being told that it was a lack of iron that caused it. That, along with chewing ice, were the outward signs of a deficiency I apparently solved or grew out of, since neither one is apparent now.

I've always liked my hands. I can remember lying in bed, a vain sixteen-year-old, holding my arms in the air until my shoulders ached, making hand shadows on the bedroom wall, admiring their shapliness, ring finger pressed against tallman in artificial and affected twisted-wrist poses.

I wore more rings once upon a time than I do now. 3 years of being home, pregnant and baby-tending, broadened my feet along with my hips and removed all my former career-girl accoutrements: that daily dab of White Shoulders wrist to wrist, the careful accessorizing of necklace, bracelet, rings. All that fell neglected to the wayside, and remained there, when I discovered that a working girl in Sweden had no real need of the costumes and uniforms of American corporate life. I haven't worn pantyhose or heels in 9 years, and I'm glad of it. The number of times I've worn fingernail polish since the French manicure I sported on my wedding day can be counted on the five fingers of one bare hand.

My hands are naturally restless, and I've had to learn to train them out of fidgeting. Left to themselves, they'll repeatedly crease a thin fold in the side of a page, pick at my lips, or twirl my hair. Sometimes I think they'll never learn. To stop them from more destructive habits, I'll allow them to quietly run the tips of one finger over the nail of another, or click silently against the underside of a nail, a snickety shell of calcium and sensitivity. Sometimes it's the only way I can get to sleep; to allow my fingers to rub in slow circles against each other, the pad of my thumb caressing the nail of my ring finger.

My hands are quick, able to snatch surprised balls from the air, sweeping and stepping in a keyboard sarabande. If typing were like dancing! My hands are steady, flowing calligraphied ink strokes down parchment pages, moving a brush firmly but gently through my daughter's just-washed hair. My hands are clumsy, fooling and startling me that was so sure they still had the quickness and steadiness of youth.

Really Great Writing Out There Right Now: Freedom of speech indeed - no YOU grow up!

More Really Great Writing Out There Right Now: Almost
 relaxed
mood: relaxed
music: Soul Asylum—Runaway Train


Comments

gosh, darn and *blush*.

Now I have to extra spellcheck and edit that post.

I love watching people's hands, they are so interesting and change over the years in interesting ways. My own hands became kind of muscular (a bit more veiny and chunky) after I became an archivist and started doing the box shuffling/grappling gigs.

So, do your hands swell as your feet sometimes do during pregnancy?

You're now famous. :)

bwahaha

Really ;)

That was fast!

They can. Lots of women have trouble with carpal tunnel syndrome during pregnancy due to swelling in the hands and wrists. I didn't have much trouble with that, thankfully. And my feet didn't exactly swell, they just went up a size!

so, what do career gals wear in sweden? (if it's jeans and sweaters, i may have to move...)

It's jeans and sweaters all the way, baby :) Well, I suppose that the really hi-powered career women, especially those in sales or upper management tend to wear suits and more formal workwear, but even they are more relaxed than their counterparts in the States.

Beautiful! :)

I'm a fidgetter too... I can't break the habit though. I've contained alot of my body fidgetting to my hands.... and can't seem to hem that in. If I did, I think my head would explode! :) Too much hyper energy already contained I think.

*hughughug*

Me, too. The thing is, since repetitive noises from other sources annoy the hell out of me, I've also had to learn to keep my fidgeting QUIET.

I very much liked your thoughts about hands! Helped me know you a little better, too.

And how kind of you to link to me! Thank you!

I just wanted to say that I adore your writing!

I've also noticed that Swedish girls are like more natural. No make- up, heels, just casual clothing and a broad smile on their faces. Men are different here, though, taking care of their looks, sometimes out of proportion :) Models aren't my type hehe

Your userpic cracks me up! How cute :) Swedish women are definitely more natural than American ones, for the most part, when it comes to makeup and hair. :)

How do you find the time to glean those wonderful pieces of writing from among thousands of blogs and do such lovely writing of your own?

I steal it from my husband and children and house. :P

I sat there last night with nothing in my head to write about, and staring at my hands for several minutes, when suddenly they just started typing of their own accord. :)

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