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MOVE ALONG, THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE HERE
I want to write, but I can't seem to get going. I can't seem to find a subject or a story or a line of words in a row that will stoke the engine and prime the pump. Have I run out of words or just out of steam?

Maybe I'm just in reading mode. Maybe I have lost a part or worn it out. There's no ork in me. I like the word ork. I can't even think what the correct translation is in English. It's not really motivation, and it's not really energy, although it has elements of both. And it's not really will, since that implies choice, and my choice is always for energy and motivation and will. Alas, alack, I have none.

Okay, I have some.

But only a little bit. *squeezes out another sentence*

Some days I feel like writing is like toothpaste in a toothpaste tube. You squeeze and you roll up the end but eventually you've gotten everything out and there is no more. Time for a new tube!

Some days it's like the first flush of green in spring. Today was the first day the buds became leaves here in Flyinge. A hedge flushed and some small trees went up in leaves. The tractors are flocking and the fields have been turned under, their rich loamy undersides exposed to the warmth. The lungwort is up, perkily pink and purple, and little leaves of the lupine I transplanted last year have come up; stars on stalks.

I am hungry for something, but I don't know what.

Hungry head. Hungry heart. Hungry in my belly with a growly tiger grumble.

Everyone else has more words than I do. Sad ones, happy ones. Tired ones. I wonder what keeps you here. What keeps you coming back? Lately, I can't imagine.

Aha! Perhaps that's my problem.
 tired
mood: tired
music: Zombies—She's Not There


Comments
(Anonymous)

if this is how you write on an empty stomach, with an empty toothpaste tube, i say give me a squeeze of that!!

But I know exactly, exactly what you are saying. I so get it. I'm just coming out of that EXACT SAME space. I'm know feeling the urge to write, but am in that awkward space where I have no time to write and other, more urgent priorities pressing hot and heavy.

in complete sympatico, Wee xo

It seems to be going around. Contagious writer's block!

I'm here for YOU, Liz. I'm not here simply for the drug like words you so often deal in. How fickle do you think we are? Though even in your doubt and struggle and use of the last bit of tooth paste you still unknowingly dazzle with expressions like "stars on stalks".

I'm wondering if "umph" would be the English equivalent of "ork".

And, it's definitely about steam - there is nothing innately flawed in your word machine - it just needs the fuels known as rest and inspiration.

*smooch!* thanks, sweetie :)

(Anonymous)

this is completely random, but I was just listening to Neko Case and it suddenly occurred to me that you would really like her. I can't remeber whether I've ever seen her listed in your "listening to", but if not, you'd definitely like her! I think she's fantastic.. "Wish I were the moon tonight" is one of the best songs ever.

xo Wee

I shall check her out immediately. Thanks!! I have a coupon for CDs coming soon from work...so recommendations are heartily welcomed!

I've been in your place for a number of days now...so I know how you feel...

ork - capable? At least that's the closest translation in Norwegian. Other meanings include: effort; strain.

(no subject) - (Anonymous)
Re: What Keeps Me Coming Back

There's a u in glue. Also a u in hug, which is what I give you for this nice comment.

Dudette. You're like the 6th person on my flist to say something like this (I wanna write, but I can't, arghle, argh...etc). I think it's something in the spring air. Don't worry, it's just a lump i the toothpaste, in a bit it will say *splooosh*.

There does seem to be some sort of general malaise out there right now. I hope it's not epidemic!

What keeps us here? Why, where else can we get a flip-top, extra-whitening, better-than-mint-flavored tube of YOU?!?!

LOL! I hope I'm the stripey kind! :D

I want to write, but I can't seem to get going.

I'm totally with you here. Work's sucking the life right out of me lately, leaving no spare thoughts worth mentioning. I was thinking the other morning that it's a good thing I'm not one of those professional writers who would have to force myself to create some words even when I don't feel like it, then I realized, "Hey, if I were a professional writer, theoretically I wouldn't have a job like mine sucking the life out of me and voila! problem solved."

Somehow it's always easy to solve my little problems in daydream moments, even if they have no basis in reality - solved is solved so far as I'm concerned :).

Work and real life. They just demand so MUCH, you know exactly what I mean! :D

(Anonymous)

The toothpaste analogy is perfect. Very true. And sometimes it's that there's so much inside of us and we can't find the right words to express all we're feeling. I hope you get your ORK back (what a fabulous word!) and find your new tube of toothpaste under a toadstool or something.

I keep coming back for YOU, for your spirit, for your tripping words. And your kids are pretty darn cute. :)

~samiam

They are, aren't they? It's kinda nice to know I can fling up photos of them now and then when I've got nothing to say :P

(Anonymous)

also? I love - LOOOOVVE - the kindred spirits icon above my first comment. It is so gorgeous and gives me a squishy feeling inside. Anne and Diana, perfect!

~sam

Ork=strength;)

and you always seem to have the words when I log on.

Thank you for that :)

You're Welcome.:)

I always wonder--how much English do you speak on a daily basis, and how much Swedish? Do the kids speak English? Was it difficult for you to move to a country and raise a family in a different language?

You amaze me, and for things like that. :) For being able to follow music and culture and the lives of your friends while conducting such a busy life so far away.

I speak a lot of English on a daily basis, probably more than I speak Swedish. At work it's a big mix, more Swenglish than anything else, since our office is so international. I have several English-speaking colleagues and we tend to revert to English together even when there are Swedes around. All the Swedes speak excellent English, so they don't even blink an eye. We also have many colleagues from all over the world for whom Swedish is a 3rd or even 4th language and we usually speak English together as well. I do try and speak Swedish primarily with my Swedish colleagues, but it's not as easy as one might think.

At home, I only speak English, both with Anders and with the kids. Anders speaks Swedish to the kids. They answer us both in a mixture, with Swedish being dominant. They do tend to answer me in English though, Martin more so than Karin. I speak Swedish with Anders' family, and with our Swedish friends and switching back and forth between the two is no problem for me. :)

It wasn't at all difficult (relatively speaking of course) for me to move to another country. I've moved all my life (29 times) and lived abroad for 6 years as a teenager. I WANTED to move back to Europe, so it wasn't anything against my will. I think raising a family is difficult in its way no matter where you are, or what resources you have.

Learning Swedish wasn't difficult for me either, I was lucky. I have a good ear for languages and an affinity for them, and learning German in high school helped a lot since Swedish is also a Germanic language and has a lot of similarities with both English and German. Granted, it would have been easier if I had been younger, but I think I would have had a MUCH more difficult time if the language had been a Latin or Romance one.


the town mice in their rich caramel brown camel hair coats gathered around the old country mouse's wagon, and kicked the wheels, and laughed.

"hey country mouse" they called, "this best wagon you got?"

and the country mouse was silent.

"this is so rustic even Van Gogh and Turner and Constable would have found it too beyond country to paint"

and the country mouse was silent, not biting at their jibes.

then one city mouse said, "so what do you haul in this?"

and the country mouse replied. "manure. you guys qualify, hop in".

Why? Because we like you! M-O-U-S-E! (Sorry...it just slipped out.)

My translation for ork = gumption. See if it doesn't work for you too! :)

Now THAT's the perfect translation! :D

Really--? I'm so surprised to read that you're surprised at our returning. You have wit, verve and a wonderful way of turning a phrase. I don't know--your'e the kind of person who in 'real' life I'd gravitate to at a party. Which is I guess why I gravitate here. You're fun, down to earth, and every so often you scatter your speed-reading brilliance on us like stardust. What's not to come back for?

*smooch* You are too kind. I feel the same way about you. I love it when I check my flist and see you've posted!

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