It's been like that lately. Feeling off-kilter, feeling a bit down and not sure why. On edge. Stage fright this far in advance of my a capella solo in 2 weeks? PMS? The fact that money is tight and yet we spend it like water? The fact that the weather is BEAUTIFUL and I'm inside working every day? Whatever it is, it's been a stupid and annoying state of mind to be in, and I kept feeling like I was digging it deeper instead of clawing my way out.
Last night Anders and I had a bit of a tiff, or at least I was left feeling so, although I'm not sure he was. I went to bed around 11:30 and he went out to the garage to work on his motorcycle. And incidentally, after reading back through my journal entries last year, perhaps the fact that his motorcycle is in pieces at the beginning of the season for the second year in a row has as much to do with the state of tension around here as anything I could come up with...hrm.
Sometime well after midnight he came out of the garage to lock up and come in the house and saw that the sky was completely lit up, right over our neighborhood. Something nearby was on fire in a BIG way. There are 40 houses in our little neighborhood, none of them more than 5 years old, all but a couple of them home to young families with small children. He ran up the road, around each corner and at the top of the neighborhood saw that one of the houses was burning.
The cars were burning, the carport was burning, the house was burning.
The couple that lives there with their 2-year old daughter were outside in their pajamas watching their house, with everything in it, go up in flames. They had had time to get themselves out, but nothing else, it went up that fast.
If their neighbor hadn't heard what sounded like hail outside and looked out a window, and reacted immediately by throwing on pants and rushing over, they would all be dead. Anders said the guy's house was smoking, too, from the heat that was so close to it.
The house is a smoking shell, it took the firemen until 4:30 a.m. to get the fire out, and it was still smouldering this morning.
My little problems are just that: little.