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PUTTING THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE
Every time I feel down, like things aren't going my way, like people aren't commenting on my journal (like no one wants to hear what I have to say), when I'm snappy and grumpy and everyone is causing problems and my relationships are rocky and my children are driving me nuts, that's when the Universe invariably gets out her big cluestick and whaps me on the back of the head with it.

It's been like that lately. Feeling off-kilter, feeling a bit down and not sure why. On edge. Stage fright this far in advance of my a capella solo in 2 weeks? PMS? The fact that money is tight and yet we spend it like water? The fact that the weather is BEAUTIFUL and I'm inside working every day? Whatever it is, it's been a stupid and annoying state of mind to be in, and I kept feeling like I was digging it deeper instead of clawing my way out.

Last night Anders and I had a bit of a tiff, or at least I was left feeling so, although I'm not sure he was. I went to bed around 11:30 and he went out to the garage to work on his motorcycle. And incidentally, after reading back through my journal entries last year, perhaps the fact that his motorcycle is in pieces at the beginning of the season for the second year in a row has as much to do with the state of tension around here as anything I could come up with...hrm.

Sometime well after midnight he came out of the garage to lock up and come in the house and saw that the sky was completely lit up, right over our neighborhood. Something nearby was on fire in a BIG way. There are 40 houses in our little neighborhood, none of them more than 5 years old, all but a couple of them home to young families with small children. He ran up the road, around each corner and at the top of the neighborhood saw that one of the houses was burning.

The cars were burning, the carport was burning, the house was burning.

The couple that lives there with their 2-year old daughter were outside in their pajamas watching their house, with everything in it, go up in flames. They had had time to get themselves out, but nothing else, it went up that fast.

If their neighbor hadn't heard what sounded like hail outside and looked out a window, and reacted immediately by throwing on pants and rushing over, they would all be dead. Anders said the guy's house was smoking, too, from the heat that was so close to it.

The house is a smoking shell, it took the firemen until 4:30 a.m. to get the fire out, and it was still smouldering this morning.

My little problems are just that: little.
awake
mood: awake
music: Neko Case—Star Witness


Comments

Whoa! How scary! And thanks for the reality check. I needed it too.

mmm. we all do that, hon. don't beat yourself up.
it sounds like you are grateful hearted
and that you are simply expressing the fact
that you KNOW we are each just specks.

really unique specks, like snowflakey, right?
but, still. ;)

gratefulnees is all.
*love*


ps: your writing is wonderful. i usually always read you and, if by chance i'm hurrying, i'll check your journal later and catch up. you're a great writer and a beautiful soul.

Your userpic made me laugh. Thank you for your lovely nice comment :)

i, too, love your icon!

hilarious icon : )

That is just awful to hear! A house in our village burnt down last year, sadly the old man that lived there did not make it out. I feel for your poor neighbours that had to stand by and watch their house burn down. Thank heaven they are alright!

I read your blog often, I may not comment much, but I do check in you and everyone on my friends list. I don´t write much anymore on my blog, my emotional state has been way too hectic and you all will think I am going mad if I had to write what´s been going on in my mind / life.

So scary and so awful. :( I've been wondering if things were okay, you've been so quiet. Hope you're managing okay. I sure know hectic, and it's only fun for a short while, so take care of yourself, hey?

My husband is a part time fireman and for sure a fire in your home puts thing sinto perspective.

(Anonymous)

Hug your kids- and Anders too. And tomorrow ..plan a fire drill , so the kids can feel safer! (how to get outsdie, and where to go to meet.
I read " a capella solo in two weeks" .... and what?? , I don't know about that! Then the 2 weeks sank in.... the wedding solo! You'll be just fine, as always. And I am soooo looking forward to all of us being together. :) Love and hugs, Lizardmom


I always read your words. As for the solo. A little nerves are good to keep you on your toes.

Just do the relaxation/warm-up exercises before you go on, and sing. SING! :)

It seems to have gotten worse the last few times (the stage fright, I mean)...well, this is probably the last solo singing for me at a wedding anyway, so I shall forge ahead!

(Anonymous)

Reality check, huh? House fires are just horrible. I saw your frowny face post last night, but then it was gone today. I am the worst commenter, or sometimes non-commenter. Sometimes I feel like everything I have to say is completely unoriginal, and definitely not funny, so sometimes my fingers freeze up. But always, I love to check in with my bloggity friends. I hope you and Anders kiss and talk it out, and yes - a boy needs his motorcycle. I think sometimes we underestimate how much our men need to play - they don't want to be the responsible grownup all the time, either! Sending you lots of good thoughts, and hoping you get outside and jump on the trampoline and laugh loud with those funny kids of yours. love, samiam

woah, that is a reality check. AND ones feelings feel big while they are happening. Be kind to yourself.
I haven't been commenting anywhere, sorry. I wish you could count on me the way I count on you.
I wanted to send you hugs on your bummed out entry, but you'd taken the comment option away. So *HUGS* (and chocolate)

It's amazing what it can take to put things into perspective.

It's bad that it takes something like that to do it, though.

That poor family loosing their home.
I really enjoy your blog .. the space you fill with words places & grounds me.
Allow me to extend my arms & give you a supportive *HUG*

Sobering indeed.

I think the motorcycle is more about the project and having something to tinker with than necessarily something Anders is in a rush to finish - at least this would be the case with Dirk.

Youch! Perspective is a good thing. But you're still allowed to whine :) I hope you perk up soon!

It's amazing how we think our problems are the end of the world and then something jolts us back to reality and makes us realize that there are more important things in life.

I am glad your neighbours made it out alright. They may not have the material things but they have each other.

Holy crap. That is just horrifying. So glad they got out alive. Sheesh what a night mare. BTW you wouldn't believe how often lately I have considered hanging up blogging. I was just thinking about it again this morning. We care what you have to say.

That would make me very sad, if you did.

So lucky that they got out in time, and what a hard thing to deal with.. the loss of your home and all your material posessions (though infinitely better than losing your life or family.) I often feel guilt at how small my problems seem in comparison to all the bigger things going on all around me.

How quickly things come into focus when we realize just how lucky we are...thanks for the reminder.

I don't know how I missed this entry. How horrible for your neighbors! I didn't write about it, but my aunt and uncle's house just burned down in March. They are safe, but weren't able to salvage much. You are right...it certainly puts things in perspective.

How awful!! I'm glad they are safe.

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