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BEAUTY CAPTURES YOUR ATTENTION, PERSONALITY CAPTURES YOUR HEART
I sat across from you at the table this evening and all I could think was, you are so beautiful. How can you not see it? How can you be so sure that you're unattractive? Someone's got a lot to answer for, that raised you believing a lie.

Now I'm not speaking just to you, I'm talking to myself and to the spaces inbetween, where the fine-webbed cracks appear on the inside of the surfaces. Do we all only see our flaws? Are we raised on denial, comparison and self-blindness? What do you see in the looking glass? Who? The person you WANT to see? The one that is thinner? younger? The you with straighter teeth and perfect skin?

Skipping like a stone from mirrored beauty in other's eyes, focus goes only on the elements that could stand some improvement. What would be found if we really looked? Gorgeous eyes go unattended for the notice of a nose, warm coloring ignored for some other self-perceived flaw.

Does this mirror make my butt look fat or is it the eyes I'm looking through?

I can feel my mind slide off and around the edges of the things I don't want to admit to myself about myself. If I stand still and wait, it peers back around the corner, as if surprised that I'm not keeping up. I think: this poodle on my head is extra spastic today, up it goes in a clip. I think: Not another spot on my chin, why can't my stupid face clear up? I don't have the energy of a teenager, it hardly seems fair to have the skin problems of one. I keep my head up, don't go below-throat because then I don't have to admit to what I don't see. I don't have to admit that I'm not happy with the way I look.

In my mind, I can wear a belt and my nose isn't so blunt. The mirror goes off like a bomb every morning: BANG! THAT'S YOU. Good thing it's all so blurry until I finish my face and put my glasses on as I leave the room. Get thee behind me, mirror! I'm beautiful inside my brain and isn't that what matters?
 pensive
mood: pensive
music: Joan Osborne—I'll Be Around


Comments

I actually mostly like the way I look in the mirror. I swear the person who ends up in my photographs is a total stranger to me though, my ugly twin.

Oh, ain't that the truth!

God I so agree with that!

Both sushi eaters are stunning. And yes, we are ALL beautiful.

We are, all of us, beautiful. I really do think so.

(Anonymous)

Perfect post. Thank you.

I totally agree.

Nice writing Liz. Nice thoughts.

(Anonymous)

This is a really interesting post, Liz. Have you seen Liz Elayne's post from last Friday?

~Sprigs.

No, I was still in Scotland then. I'll go check it out. Thanks! :)

I gather sushi was had last night and I so agree with ALL of this posting. Maybe my eyes are getting old, maybe my mind is failing, I look in the mirror and see someone I think is wonderful, with so many beautiful features and then somebody takes a photograph and I think, "Oh my GOD, who IS that?" Something is lying and I prefer to think it's the camera.

(Anonymous)

You hit right on the spot what has been going on in my mind the last couple of days! You write it so well that you inspired me to a blog entry to spin-off my one from yesterday and I quoted you. I hope that was ok...

May I put a link to this blog in my link list?

/Mia

http://mias.blogg.se

Weirdly, one of commenters pointed me to another friend's post that was written on Friday while I was still in Scotland, that is about this same issue as well.

And of course you can link to me! I'm flattered :)

Beautiful, Liz, and something I really needed to read right now. Been warring with myself of late concerning these issues.

Wonderful entry!

Wait till you're over 50...that's when the 'mirror hate' really kicks in. ;) I giggled at the commenter who said photos only capture her ugly self. It's why I LOATHE having my picture taken...99% of them are hideous. I've decided to just blithely ignore what I see in the mirror and continue to pretend (in my head) that I'm still 25. :)

(Anonymous)

What a beautiful post! I love that, "get thee behind me, mirror!" I too wish we all could see our real beauty a little more clearly, the beauty of a unique face with sparkling witty warm eyes and a great smile.
-Laini (I don't know how this LIve Journal stuff works)

(Anonymous)
and here I thought . .

that you had to wear glasses because as a child you caught a glimpse of your magnificent smile in a mirror and it was so dazzling it damaged your unprepared retinas.

You are beautiful. Deal with it.

~bluepoppy

Re: and here I thought . .

Heh! You should have seen me as a child with a pirate patch and an eyeball (with eyelashes) drawn on it in red & blue pencil by my mother and my cat-frame glasses :D

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