zird is the word (lizardek) wrote,
zird is the word
lizardek

  • Mood:
  • Music:

WHEN GOOD DAYS GO BAD

I killed a cat yesterday.

Not on purpose and not personally, but nevertheless it has had me really down and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it all day.

I wasn't even sure it was a cat, it was so dark, and there was a moment when it looked like a rabbit* and its eyes reflected in the headlights as it raced straight for the front side of the car, and then it was thumping under the wheel before I could brake or swerve or even react more than to cry out. I stopped but I couldn't see anything behind me, couldn't find it, couldn't think what to do, before shakily driving on in tears and in shock.

Coming abrupt and awful, immediately after one of the most relaxing and convivial evenings I've had in awhile, it really threw me.

Over and out, just like that, with no warning, no meaning, no conclusion. Just a thumping and a stopping and a silence.

Intellectually, I know that cats are a dime a dozen, that the average life span of outdoor cats is vanishingly small, that if I HAD swerved I would have been likely to have endangered or injured myself, but still I have found that that silence has coated my whole day today with sorrow for a small life so violently interrupted.

*It wasn't. It was a cat. I called the friend whose home I was at, whose village I was still in when it happened, and she found it this morning.
Tags: thisisjusttosay
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 25 comments
Previous
← Ctrl ← Alt
Next
Ctrl → Alt →
Previous
← Ctrl ← Alt
Next
Ctrl → Alt →