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I'm ready to brain my daughter.

She's been a problem sleeper since the day she was born and we've jumped through all kinds of parenting hoops trying to work with and around it. She regularly wakes up in the middle of the night and comes into our bed. However, since she's getting pretty big, it's much more of a problem than it used to be, and I'm about at my wit's end. :(

We have an antique American double bed, which is barely big enough for the 2 of us, and exremely crowded if you add another body, especially one that squirms. All week long, she's been slipping into our bed after I've put her to bed in her own. I've carried her back when I go to bed, but unsurprisingly, I get woken up in the middle of the night at some point when she gets in again or flings an arm out, or pushs me in the back or something. It doesn't matter quite so much when Anders is gone as he was all week, but last night he got home at 12:30 and we were awakened at around 4 and then again 5:30 by Karin.

When we ask her why she comes in our room, she says it's boring in her room when she wakes up at night, or that she doesn't want to be alone, both of which are perfectly understandable, BUT... !!! We really have done everything we can think of: giving her all the stuffed animals she could want, letting her read books in bed when she's awake, giving her an easy-to-reach-and-turn-on bedside lamp, sitting with her, letting her come and go as she pleases in our bed. We've tried plenty of other things, too, that didn't work (music, for one). Getting up and going in her room with her until she settles down again is no longer an option as she just thinks it's time to play now that she has an audience and it can take several hours before she actually falls asleep, by which time I'm reaching murderous rage proportions.

Not getting enough sleep, or being constantly awakened during the night is a form of torture, and it's really getting to me. I'm stressed enough during the day, and I REALLY don't need this on top of it. :( I've tried talking to her, explaining how things are and how they need to be, but she's four years old and it's not getting through yet. The thing is, if this were once in awhile, I could deal with it much better, but it's CONSTANT and has been going on for FOUR YEARS now.

Anders tells me duct tape is not an option.
mood: frustrated
music: Smash Mouth—Walkin' On the Sun


How about putting one of those hook and eye locks on the outside of her door? My friend had to do that to her 2 year old because he would go outside at night and she was terrified of what would happen. It does sound kind of cruel in a way, though.

LOL! You obviously haven't met my daughter. That would stop her for about, oh, 10 minutes max. She'd probably pull the door off the hinges.

Nice song - love Smash Mouth!

I'm sorry for the tough time you're going thru. I don't know what to suggest as I don't have kids.. :I

(no subject) - (Anonymous)

9 hours...sigh...what luxury. That's what I ultimately require too, but haven't had since 1996. I'm lucky to get 6 nowadays. :( argh

(no subject) - (Anonymous)

yuck. :( why does EBV physically require 9 hours? I have to confess I'm ignorant on the subject. sick throwing up or what? sounds awful :(

Wish I knew what to suggest. Meanwhile, you have my sympathy.

Ditto here. With the cat, I just throw him out and shut the door, but I'm betting your daughter has already figured out this door handle phenomenon. ;)

Yes she has, and see, that would require getting up, something I'm trying to avoid, LOL!

I have my own sleeping-with-kids issues (see today's entry here), so I sympathize.

What about putting a toddler bed in your room?

No room. :( Plus, I have this major sticking point here. I DON'T WANT the kids sleeping in our room, or in our bed. I want them sleeping in their OWN beds, in THEIR own rooms. It was different when she WAS a toddler, but I honestly think 4 is a little old for this every night. :(

Yeah, I can definitely understand that! Tage is fourteen months old now, and I'm starting to be really ready for Olof and me to have our own bed back!

I had 2 daughters who were night and day different. The older one could tolerate lots of independent solitary play time and never had any sleep issues. The younger one was the bane of my existence as a parent. She couldn't stand not to have constant attention, and absolutely couldn't stand sleeping alone. In the end, consistency and a lot of aggravation later, the solution was never ever to let her come into our bed even when it was just me and easier to do. I took her to her own bed every night and laid down with her till she fell asleep. At first, the novelty of me being there kept her awake and talking. It took a lot of time. She woke up every night and tried to sneak back in our bed. I took her back to hers, and laid back down with her. There were a lot of times I felt angry. But really and truly, over time it improved. It seems now that it was probably 3-4 months total but it felt like centuries. I worked full-time and felt as if I would never get any sleep again. Need I say that I am overjoyed that they are grownup? You have my sympathies.

I'm beginning to think that we have to go back to that kind of thing, getting up every night and taking her back to her own room, and sitting with her if necessary. :( We had kind of given up since we moved into our new house, as we just have too much else to deal with, but it's getting to the point of ridiculousness. My kids sound a lot like yours actually, personality-wise, although Karin doesn't need CONSTANT attention. Thanks for your advice :)

No kids here but sympathy abounds. I need ridiculous amounts of sleep.. one of those things that seriously worries me about having kids. ;) - Seems like extremely reasonable advice.

You could also try making a little chart and giving her a star for every night she stays in her own bed.. with a certain number of stars leading to some sort of small treat.

What a GREAT idea!! I'm definitely implementing that (although I'm a little worried about the vast white spaces with no stars that will surely be there, LOL! Thanks for the link!!

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