lizardek's obiter dictum lizardek Home Now Then Friends Info Ek Family
zird is the word [userpic]
BED HOG
I'm ready to brain my daughter.

She's been a problem sleeper since the day she was born and we've jumped through all kinds of parenting hoops trying to work with and around it. She regularly wakes up in the middle of the night and comes into our bed. However, since she's getting pretty big, it's much more of a problem than it used to be, and I'm about at my wit's end. :(

We have an antique American double bed, which is barely big enough for the 2 of us, and exremely crowded if you add another body, especially one that squirms. All week long, she's been slipping into our bed after I've put her to bed in her own. I've carried her back when I go to bed, but unsurprisingly, I get woken up in the middle of the night at some point when she gets in again or flings an arm out, or pushs me in the back or something. It doesn't matter quite so much when Anders is gone as he was all week, but last night he got home at 12:30 and we were awakened at around 4 and then again 5:30 by Karin.

When we ask her why she comes in our room, she says it's boring in her room when she wakes up at night, or that she doesn't want to be alone, both of which are perfectly understandable, BUT... !!! We really have done everything we can think of: giving her all the stuffed animals she could want, letting her read books in bed when she's awake, giving her an easy-to-reach-and-turn-on bedside lamp, sitting with her, letting her come and go as she pleases in our bed. We've tried plenty of other things, too, that didn't work (music, for one). Getting up and going in her room with her until she settles down again is no longer an option as she just thinks it's time to play now that she has an audience and it can take several hours before she actually falls asleep, by which time I'm reaching murderous rage proportions.

Not getting enough sleep, or being constantly awakened during the night is a form of torture, and it's really getting to me. I'm stressed enough during the day, and I REALLY don't need this on top of it. :( I've tried talking to her, explaining how things are and how they need to be, but she's four years old and it's not getting through yet. The thing is, if this were once in awhile, I could deal with it much better, but it's CONSTANT and has been going on for FOUR YEARS now.

Anders tells me duct tape is not an option.
 frustrated
mood: frustrated
music: Smash Mouth—Walkin' On the Sun


Comments

I had 2 daughters who were night and day different. The older one could tolerate lots of independent solitary play time and never had any sleep issues. The younger one was the bane of my existence as a parent. She couldn't stand not to have constant attention, and absolutely couldn't stand sleeping alone. In the end, consistency and a lot of aggravation later, the solution was never ever to let her come into our bed even when it was just me and easier to do. I took her to her own bed every night and laid down with her till she fell asleep. At first, the novelty of me being there kept her awake and talking. It took a lot of time. She woke up every night and tried to sneak back in our bed. I took her back to hers, and laid back down with her. There were a lot of times I felt angry. But really and truly, over time it improved. It seems now that it was probably 3-4 months total but it felt like centuries. I worked full-time and felt as if I would never get any sleep again. Need I say that I am overjoyed that they are grownup? You have my sympathies.

I'm beginning to think that we have to go back to that kind of thing, getting up every night and taking her back to her own room, and sitting with her if necessary. :( We had kind of given up since we moved into our new house, as we just have too much else to deal with, but it's getting to the point of ridiculousness. My kids sound a lot like yours actually, personality-wise, although Karin doesn't need CONSTANT attention. Thanks for your advice :)

October 2019
    1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31

lizardek

lizardek's obiter photos
lizardek's obiter photos

shameless
Feeling generous? Be my guest!





snippet
I can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.

Abraham Lincoln

more
obiter snippets





credits
Layout thanks to dandelion.
Findus the cat as used in my user icon and header is the creation of Sven Nordqvist.