lizardek's obiter dictum lizardek Home Now Then Friends Info Ek Family
zird is the word [userpic]
I'm feeling the love today and I am so touched and moved and happy that I just had to write about it.

I've signed up as a nominee for my old position of Editor on the AWC board. I had been dithering about it for ages, not knowing what to do, because frankly the year off had felt both good and bad; good because I really WAS burned out on the job and because I really had MUCH less to do, but bad because I felt like I was letting down my team.

I talked to my friend Camilla and was able to begin to better articulate what I was feeling and why I was beginning to lean toward saying yes again. I talked to my friend Kathey about it on a long phone call and got a clear-headed perspective about the whole dilemma and the knowledge that she had my back no matter which way I decided. I talked to my mom and without actually telling her what it was about, got a clear signal that I was heading in the right direction. And then, I talked to my friend Geena at a dinner one night, because I couldn't decide. I couldn't make up my mind that last little bit to take the plunge and say yes, or back away with my resignation and my fears intact.

I told her that in the beginning, when my friends and I were building the club, we were all in it together and it was so much FUN. We were women in similar situations: Swedish spouses, learning a new language, making our ways in a new culture and acclimating ourselves in a foreign country. We became the best of friends and we were close as sisters. Then time and busy lives began to push us apart, a little bit here and a little bit there, until slowly I felt that I was the only one left still doing my part in the club. Each of them had taken a break or moved on to other things, and even though they were still members and some of them were still semi-active, it wasn't the same because my friends weren't helping me to make things happen anymore.

I told her that I missed that part, friends working together in an organization to make things happen, and that I wished I could find that again, and that I was afraid that if I said yes for some of the other reasons that I was also feeling (obligation, distress, control, wanting to help out) that I would find myself regretting it. She sat patiently through the whole mostly one-sided conversation and listened to what I had to say. And then a little while later, when the conversation at the table had shifted to other things, she turned back to me and said, "You know what, Liz? I would like to do that. I'll be your friend on the board."

It was as if a shining light turned on in front of me. She made all the difference in my thought-wrangling process which had stalled in the back-and-forth, pro-and-con tennis game inside my skull. She whacked it out of the court and made the score LOVE. :)

Then I sat down and talked to Anders about it and got his cautious approval and I think it will work. I really, really hope it will work, and I will do what I can to make it work, because I want to, and I have found that generally what I really put my mind to I can accomplish.

Today, I had 2 e-mails from club members, one a former friend and current board member and one a nominee as well for this coming year, and both of them said how glad they were that I was coming back on board. And then Geena wrote me a letter to thank ME, and made me cry because I am the one who should be, and is, thanking HER.

And today I worked in my very own office and got a lot done and had a good day, and then I got my birthday presents in the mail from my sister; 2 shirts from my favorite store in the States, and they were perfect and dinner with my family all together at the table was fun and chatty and I am so happy.

The end.


Postcript: And then, with my finger poised over the "Post entry" button as I re-read through this one last time, the power went off and the screen went black... AAAAAAAAAAAGH!! NOOOOOOOO!...and I had to write this whole thing over again in longhand (WITH A PEN! OMG!) from memory by candlelight because we had no power for over an hour. But you know what? The light is still shining, just the same.
mood: hopeful
music: Shawn Colvin—Sunny Came Home


bummer about the blackout!
but yay, we both got birthday presents from the states on the same day? :-)

We did! And mine was late, too...but it was my sister's fault, not the postal service :P


Well, the very best thing about the blackout- was, with nothing else to phoned me! :) I'm delighted that you are happy and that everything is apparently coming together for you. Reach out, and people want to reach back. Love, Lizardmom


I love that the light is shining for you - and honestly, sometimes we "over-doers" just need a simple break to gather our energy and plunge back in. And to know that we're NOT alone. I hope this gives you immense amounts of light and LIFE! (Even though you are simply rolling in it!)

:) Sam


Not my fault entirely!!! I had your present on time, YOU made me return it!!! : )

But I think you are happier witht his one anyway. so Happy Birdie Two Ewes to you!!

Love your Seester
P.S. I think you are making the right decision.

haha! You're right, it WAS my fault! :D I'm wearing the black one today :) (and thank you, that's nice to hear)

Good for you Liz! For joining up again and for rewriting it again :)

Yeah for great things!

Oh joy. We get to change our minds when we want to. We get to recharge and change them again. It's so great to be goddesses!
Good luck with all that comes with this decision.

I am SO glad that I took the time this evening to read through what all of my friends posted while I was out travelling this week. Otherwise I would have missed this, and that would have been a shame!

I really am SO looking forward to spending more time with you, Liz - I'm so glad that you said "yes" to the club thing and that you talked about it that night. I had totally decided to just do the bookgroup, but listening to you and thinking about how it could be to work alongside you was just too appealing to pass up.

I'm glad you rewrote this and posted it. :-)

I'm glad you did, too, but I would probably have nudged you over here if you hadn't commented because that thank you was for you, from my heart. :)

Wow, I can't believe you rewrote the whole LONGHAND! Sounds like you made the right decision.

October 2019
    1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31


lizardek's obiter photos
lizardek's obiter photos

Feeling generous? Be my guest!

I can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.

Abraham Lincoln

obiter snippets

Layout thanks to dandelion.
Findus the cat as used in my user icon and header is the creation of Sven Nordqvist.