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GIVING TO AIRY NOTHING
Sometimes, especially when I'm in the middle of reading a book where the writing just blows me away, where every word seems so perfectly chosen and polished and dovetailed to a plumb with all the other words, in a way that I wouldn't have thought to use it, in a way that is so fresh and so right that it nearly makes my hair stand on end, then I can't imagine ever writing again myself. How could I?

It's not that I think that I have to write as perfectly as some of the writers I admire most, or even some that sporadically mine the depths of perfection and only come up with the occasional gem, it's that all my will and adoration goes spilling out and it feels as though I have nothing to give because everything I think, everything I come up with, seems tarnished or bruised or, let's face it, SECOND-RATE in comparison, and I have no desire to spill my thoughts across the furrow of the screen and lovingly tend to them only to realize that they're stunted, and will never nourish anyone the way that writer's words nourished me.

Do you write when you think you have nothing to say? Do you find yourself compelled to make some sort of mark on the day...some little notice of "hey! I'm over here!" that reminds the world that you exist, that you are more than what you had for lunch and what chores you crossed off your to-do list today? Does it matter if the writing you release from your brain and from your fumbling fingers is not of the caliber that would make a publishing agent sit up and remove her glasses and peer, awestruck, over your prose with the rising feeling of excitement that O! this is it! I caught one! You're a little fish in a big, big pond and every little fish is bubbling away. What makes you think your bubbles are brighter and glossier than that fish over there? Maybe they're all just full of air.

Posterity is such a fickle mistress.

We suck up to her, like fish, blowing bubbles. I want every word I write to be right. I want every word to make an impression. If I can make you stop and admire the pure air pearls I am forming, what will I have won? A moment of your time, a smile perhaps, empathy. Sympathy when I want it, support when I need it, admiration when I least expect it. A place in the race against time where the bubbles rise to the surface and release each puff of breath and thought with a sigh, a ripple and silence.
 thoughtful
mood: thoughtful
music: Delays—Hey Girl


Comments

Posterity is such a fickle mistress.

We suck up to her, like fish, blowing bubbles.


*Nods in recognition and feels herself being nourished*

*blows bubbles at you*

Do you write when you think you have nothing to say?

Yes. Though when I try to analyze the reasons, I don't come up with anything that's terribly clear. Mostly I think of it like how you have to work sometimes to maintain friendships. About 99% of the time it's easy and fun and it brings you so much that there's no question of "work". Then there's that 1% of the time when you think "if I don't make the effort, that just makes it all the easier to drift apart".

I think some days my f-list would undoubtedly prefer that I just leave it alone and not worry about posting or responding to certain posts with comments. But from my point of view I feel guilty if I'm not putting something out there once in awhile instead of just reading and enjoying (silently) what everyone else has to say.

I don't think your flist thinks like that. I know for my part, I'm glad when someone posts something (although not memes! haha!) and if they're gone for awhile I worry or wonder about them and their well-being, but I don't care if what they write isn't Pulitzer-ready :)

yes, of course I write when I think I have nothing to say, in fact after writing I sometimes think that what I thought ot write about was in fact nothing.

however to write, as distinct from just reflect, I think you need to write when there is nothing to say - for the art of writing is, at least in part, in working at the craft of the writing when you think you have nothing to say.

you never read as if you are thinking you have nothing to say, so I suspect your writing is very good, excellent, brilliant...., and so on.

Time passes us all by, but not to seek some small acclaim seems a greater waste than to attempt to seek it. So what if my children's children know me not, let those who's air I share hold me in regard fair. Perhaps such bubbles shall only feed my ego, but that is enough. For I am important as any other who has walked this Earth, or eve shall, and we should ALL think that of ourselves.

I seem to often have something to say, even when it's nothing much. heh.

Well I think this was a beauty of a post. I feel the same way too.

Thanks, dear :) Good to know I'm not alone.

Silly woman. You rock.
Some writing leaves me feeling awestruck. Some makes me laugh. Some makes me cry. Some makes me interested in the person sharing of herself, her life... sometimes awesome, sometimes funny, sometimes, sad, sometimes plain.... like the parts of a tapestry.
Of course we LJers write when we think we have nothing to say. We are weaving connections.
Sometimes the best part of my day is an almost "nothing to say" comment from you!

You are right about the connections! I guess I think of that "nothing to say" commenting as more than it perhaps appears. I know there are a lot of people who read this journal and NEVER comment, but sometimes it makes me wonder.

Well, it means alot to me sometimes. And I suppose to you too. (The "nothing to say" comments.)

If you are letting your head make up stories in your wonderings about the lurkity lurkers, then they might as well be good stories. Why not?

And back to the original topic for a moment. I love your good writing when it happens and I love just hearing you share yourself. That's what I think LJ is. Quite a mix. It's like talking with good friends (and all right, lurkity unknown aquantainces and strangers) ~ Sometimes there's this exciting quality to a conversation. It just takes off. Other times it's work. And sometimes it's just chit chat.

Oh my dear, in keeping with your analogy, even if it's not perfect, sometimes you have to write to keep from popping from all the air inside. I'm glad you do. On particularly incoherent days there's always the "private" tag. :D

True, though I never use it, myself. Don't seem to be made that way. Either what I write is for public consumption, or it doesn't get written. :)

(Anonymous)

I think the main thing to remember is that your talent and your gift is unique to you - you have your own perfection, your perspective. Good writing means that you are able to communicate on a deep, true level, and that's why I've been reading you for THREE YEARS! An eternity in blogging years! :)

And I don't write if I feel dry, parched - and then sometimes I think I have nothing to say and something bubbles up. Or, if I really like something I've written and I want to make sure it gets read - I leave it up a little longer. That's my confession for the day!

~Sam

3.5! OMG! I'm boggled how long I've been doing this, especially considering I never kept a paper journal in my life (beyond a couple of halfhearted starts)

re your comment about how you've kept at this...I marvel over the same thing...HOW have I been blogging for 3-1/2 years? HOW? I typically stay with NOTHING in my life! Reading your post, I was struck by the thought that I had no idea you were putting such pressure on yourself. Your writing is always lovely (no matter what you're writing about), but I don't think about my writing at all (clearly!...ha!) (The so-called poetry least of all.) One thing I have learned in the past 3-1/2 years is to let go of any ideas I might have about what others might like about my writing...because 9 times out of 10, the nicest comments arrive on the posts where I would have least expected them.

(Anonymous)

this was perfect.

-- meg

Thank you! :)

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