Actually, this time I know what brought on the beast. Anger about something stupid and hurtful at work compounded by disappointment in a friend. First I was mad at the friend, who basically bailed on a commitment that was apparently only in my own head. I can't blame her, exactly, since her
I know that friendship is a two-way street. And I know that if it's important to me, then I shouldn't be resentful of the time, energy or effort that I put into it, regardless of the level of same from the other side. It just makes me sad, that's all. There are so many friendships that I don't have the time to invest in that I'd like to have, the time I'd like to set aside for and nurture and help them grow, that when one I DO have, or at least one I THOUGHT I had, turns brown around the edges and begins drooping, one that I HAVE cared for, and tried to keep going, I find it harder and harder these days to stand back objectively and try to figure out (again) how to revive it or keep it alive. Right now, I feel more like saying, "Oh well, ...Next!"