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Because I couldn't spend time with my own mother on Mother's Day, being as how she is 8000-some-odd kilometers away, when one of the members of the AWC organized a Mother's Day Luncheon today, I took my mother-in-law, which is what all of us who attended did. Our mothers-in-law who have helped to welcome us to a foreign country, made adjustments in their lives and their ways of thinking in order to bring us into the family, and who have helped the ongoing acclimatization with which we struggle on a daily basis, no matter how long we have lived here. Apart from my own mother, I don't know any woman on the face of this planet who is as generous and kind as my mother-in-law.

Being able to talk to my mom long-distance is wonderful, but it can never be as satisfying as the frequent face-to-face contact we once had. Having had this last month in the States with my mom was a blessing. We didn't have to spend our short conversations catching up on the all the important highlights of our lives; instead we were able to slow the pace down, talk about anything and everything, laugh at things together that struck us as humorous, poke each other in the night when one of us woke the other one up snoring in the king-size hotel bed. How are all those bruises on your arm, Mom? :P

Despite the evidence that I obviously caved at some point, it was never a goal in my life to be a mother. I didn't even want children! I couldn't imagine and was rather horrified by the thought of someone else being dependent on me or the responsibility that I imagined motherhood required. Against the long list of Reasons Why Not To Have Children that I kept a half-joking running tally of, the only thing on the "Pro" side was being able to read books to my kid.

My mom taught me more about how to be myself than I realized. She gave me all the tools I needed to become the person I am, one that I'm proud to be. She STILL teaches me, by example, though sometimes it seems to be refresher courses that she thinks I obviously need more tutoring in. I don't know what kind of grade I would receive as a daughter if grades were handed out for this sort of education, but I hope that one day my daughter (and my son) will give me the kind of marks that I award MY mom.

Happy Mother's Day to everyone who reads this post. May you have a mom, or be a mom, or know a mom, like mine.

Really Great Writing Out there Right Now: White Corsage

Bumblebee Buzzing, Willow Tree Fuzzing, Warm Birthday Wishes to redpirk!
mood: peaceful
music: Alison Krauss—Simple Love


Happy mother's day lovely Liz. Is it funny to say that I miss you? I do. I wish we could have spent four times as much time talking about everything. I loved reading this post--though I was surprised to read that you, like me, at one point couldn't imagine being a mom. Isn't it wild? Motherhood. And your mom. Such a thoughtful, centered, perceptive woman. You are lucky to have had her be your mom all these years! :) Just as your kids are lucky to have you!

That was me :)

Other people might think it's strange, but I don't. I miss you, too! I think about you and BP so often!! I also wish we had had more time to just sit and talk, perhaps it would never be enough, no matter how much time we had! Happy Mother's Day to you :) :) :)


You made me cry! I Love you too - and you're definitely a grade A++.....Just like my other two wonderful kids! :)
I am so Blessed! Love, Lizardmom

I love you, Mom!!

thanks :)
i was actually born on mothers day and my mom always loved that. i thought about her a lot today!

I laughed on the phone for my Mom for more than an hour yesterday - god, I love that woman. ;)

Curious, what made you cave? I'm having daily doubts about this issue and have come to the conclusion that there is not one practical reason to have children, though there is still a definite part of me that wants them.

It was meeting Anders that did it. :)


What a gift to have such a great relationship with your mom. I am definitely growing even closer to mine as I await my own transformation into motherhood. One of the things I am so grateful for is that she's here to share it with me - her mother died young, and so she didn't have that sort of help, except of course from HER wonderful mother in law. (And for mother in laws who aren't crazy, hooray! Wish I had one of those!)

I will vouch for you and Christina that it is NOT totally weird that you miss each other. It's wonderful, it's (once again) a gift. When Rebekah came to visit, it was magical. And I miss her!


I wish you had a non-crazy mother-in-law, too. It makes SUCH a huge difference!

Happy Mother's Day to you!

I agree--it is good to not have a crazy mother in law! My best friend just got married into one of the nuttiest families I have ever met; my own future mother in law seems like a dream. I'm sorry to hear you are so far from your family; I have not read your archived posts yet but will and will discover why you are so many miles away. A mystery to solve!

- Molly

Re: Happy Mother's Day to you!

If you look at my bio/info page you can see a quick summary of why I am where I am :) Click on the info link in my header.

What a lovely post Liz. I'm so glad you had/have such a wonderful Mom and a good relationship with her. It makes a huge difference in life, I think, to have that. And a good mother in law to boot! *woohoo*

I too had doubts about being a mother. I always thought as a child that I would have four kids, just like my Mom did. And then in early adulthood I liked kids, but better if they went home after a visit!
That all changed of course. I believe that Motherhood and raising my children is the most important and viably useful thing I have done in my life and for the planet. So there! (not to diminish the other things I have done. Just saying.)

I think it's great that you feel that way about your kids and the job you've done raising them :)

I don't live as far away from my mom as you do from yours but I savor our visits too so we can slow down and chat about stupid stuff and not just hitting the highlights.

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I can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.

Abraham Lincoln

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