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These things go a long way toward restoring my equilibrium: sleeping in, sushi, massage, cleaning, reading, napping, music and watching my children's faces light up. I had all of them, in one form or another, this weekend. There might also have been Ben & Jerry's Caramel Chew Chew ice cream in there somewhere. It makes me feel that I can face Monday morning, which is nice. The upcoming week isn't a busy one (I mean, aside from work): just taking Karin to karate tomorrow and walking while she's there; and dinner with the Wonders on Friday.

I read an excellent book over the weekend, too: Water For Elephants by Sara Gruen. In fact, I read 2 books, but the other one confirmed that I just don't seem to get what everyone else sees in David Sedaris. That was my second attempt with him and I officially give up now. I was a reading machine in February. Of course it helped that many of the books were ones I had read's always faster the second time around, though no less satisfying visiting with beloved old books. So far, this year, I've read 26 books. At this rate, I'll blow my yearly record out of the water.

I've decided to give up worrying about the writing in my journal being so much of the diary kind lately. I'm sure that when the muse gets back from the warmer climes she's surely hied off to things will get cracking around here again. In the meantime, I refuse to sit around moping because I'm not as scintillating as I might be. Surely it's enough to try and savor the days as they wing past towards spring and write down the moments I want to fold neatly and put in my pocket, where I can come upon them in the future and smooth them out with surprise and delight: O! remember when? remember that?

Perhaps part of the problem is my own expectations playing havoc with my ability to pull descriptive prose from my brain in long, beribboned curlicues. My delusions of grandeur which keep poking at me: you can do better, do better!—until suddenly I can't do anything at all. There's no denying that I can do better. Of course I can do better, and have! But sometimes, it must be enough just to DO.

"It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about." —Dale Carnegie
mood: contemplative
music: The Connells—I Suppose


I've never been able to see the draw of Sedaris, either...and people are always pushing him on me "because he lives in France." There is nothing special about his writing; it is rarely comic, mostly self-centered and immature (and not in a funny way) and full of in jokes which I guess you have to be a family member to get. I also read that his sister sued him for making a bunch of stuff up that he claimed "really happened".

"because he lives in France" ?? what the heck would make people think that that has anything to do with whether or not you would like a writer's work? *boggle*

Your diary-like posts just bring us a little closer to you. Life isn't always full of "beribboned curlicues". You're keeping it real :)

Thanks for the encouragement! :)

I watched Oprah a couple of weeks ago and she was talking about the Secret- the laws of attraction- about how you bring things into your life. Like things are attracted to each other...etc. This show was about what was behind the Secret- it's our thoughts. The words we think and speak start the process and are a huge influence. Think about feeling bad and icky and complain (even to yourself) and guess what? You feel even more icky and bad.

They talked about how people make a visualization of what they want in their lives- like a list on a bulletin board or more elaborate pictures or art representative of what they want. One woman wanted to buy a stove or was a fridge? Which ever... she put a picture out of a magazine up. Then, she saved (doing what she needed to do to bring it to her) and finally, went to the store. Brought the item home. It didn't work. Had to get a new model. Didn't work again. She finally bought a different model. And guess what? It was exact one as in the magazine picture.

I've made a poster that has on it things I'm working on believing. Some of it says... I am right where I belong; Believe in me; Let go, let be (because I worry too..) and NEW job!

I appreciate your quote by Dale Carnegie. Congrats on all of your books. I've read a few good ones that have a lot of meaning for me right now. I'll have to write a post or something...sense these thoughts keep coming! 8-)

It doesn't seem like much of a secret to me, more like common sense :) The Carnegie quote helps put it in perspective, that's for sure.

I enjoy all your posts--it's like looking at different facets of your mind, from the every day to the esoteric.

Thank you for the nice compliment :)

I do believe you may have climbed into my brain, right clicked and copied that last paragraph, before pasting it here. Oy. Where does that come from, that do better voice? I feel it too, enormously. Also about commenting, which I should do more of, as I think of you daily and always read.

I don't know where that do better voice comes from but I sure wish it would give it a rest sometimes! I think of you, too. Hey! Did you get my email??

"I've decided to give up worrying...I refuse to sit around moping ...Surely it's enough to try and savor the days"

hip hip hurray! We love all of you, the bumps, the beauty, the mundane peeks at life, and the snazzy writer.

It's so great to have fans like you!

I don't get why people like Sedaris either. I've read two of his books and been utterly unimpressed on both occasions.

Personally, I'm really looking forward to the time when I can stop writing, when my journal isn't such a crucial part of my life and I don't *need* to write. Just doing and savoring the days as they wing past towards spring seems to be a very good thing. Enjoy it!

It's nice to hear that I am not alone in regards to Sedaris, in fact, apparently, far from it. :) And your last bit made me laugh. I guess the grass is always greener, eh?


so glad you have found yours! hoping mine is returned soon--

bisous, bp

Re: equilibrium

Well, I thought I had it, but Monday has gnawed it up and spit it back out.

There *might* have been Ben & Jerry's? ;)
I'm in a rather prolonged stage of what you've described, being confined to "diarizing" rather than writing anything... uh, good. My reasons have more to do with mommyhood and less to do with work demands, but I'm also learning to be OK with this stage... not to push myself for the things I don't have time to do, because that opportunity will come again one day (as I'm sure it will for you!).

Ben & Jerry's? Where? *looks around wildly and then grins slyly at you*

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Feeling generous? Be my guest!

I can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.

Abraham Lincoln

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