zird is the word (lizardek) wrote,
zird is the word
lizardek

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COMING FROM WITHIN

Despite the crazy busyness at work and the crazy busyness at home and the fact that I can't seem to stop eating every freaking thing in sight, preferably with mayonnaise, I seem to be on an upsurge of quiet happiness this week. It's despite the fact that Anders isn't here. It's in spite of the rain that invariably makes an appearance every day at some point. It's not because of the long-desired out-of-print books I ordered the other day. It's not because I am trying to make an effort to write here more frequently than I've been managing.

I think it's because of the light. It's because of the increasing frequency of walking. It's because of the good books I'm devouring or the great old music I'm listening to while editing CDs. It's the jokes I'm cracking with my kids that I can't even remember later when I want to. It's the singing in the kitchen at the top of my lungs while I'm making my salad for dinner and the kids are sitting at the table eating theirs and rolling their eyes, and it's the stopping abruptly in the middle of the song to suddenly ask them, "Is your friend still here??" and grimacing when they both start laughing and nod. It's the shrugging of my shoulders after the pause and then bursting back into song again.

Or maybe it's the sunshine on the fields and the fact that the birds are building nests again. Or the way the lilac leaves have unfurled just a tiny bit more. Or the fact that for 6 days, starting tomorrow, we'll have a cat in the house. Or maybe it's the reaffirmation that I have great in-laws and family and friends. Maybe it's the projects that are getting done and being fun in the process instead of just stressful obligations. Maybe it's the thought of new projects that are percolating in my brain but on hold for the moment.

It could very well be the fact that my skin has cleared up (thanks, Sarah!) or even more likely the fact that my vision problems seem to have taken an abrupt turn for the better the past couple of weeks.

Maybe it's suddenly remembering one of the jokes! Karin was doing the annoying kid thing wherein she asks "Why?" after every single thing anyone around her utters. It's not quite as annoying as when one of the kids decides to repeat everything you say, but nearly. After about sixteen of her drawled-out "Why" replies, just before Martin belted her one, I suddenly said, "Karin! Stop being such a WHY-NER!" Then we all giggled madly. :D

It could be the new friendships that are bubbling or the established ones that run like a smooth current under my life, increasing my buoyancy. It could be that I spelled buoyancy correctly on my first attempt! It could be the fact that my children go to sleep after they go to bed and get up with absolutely no fuss every single morning. It could be the massage I had today. Or maybe it's just the long list of good things that I have in my life and that I have to look forward to, that I wish ALL my friends had, especially one in particular that I think about so often, that I send positive vibes to every day, that I hope is reading this with an open heart.

It could be because of the things you write about. It could be because of the things you say. It could be because of YOU.

Or maybe it IS the mayo, after all.
Tags: wonderfulworld
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