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CHARMING BOY
Nearly every morning when I drop Martin off at school, a crowd of little blonde girls comes running up to him. The other boys on the playground are playing 4-square or kicking a soccer ball around or wrestling and the girls pretty much totally ignore them. When the girls have birthday parties, Martin is the only boy they invite (besides their brothers). When HE has a birthday party, I have to remind him that at least a couple of boys need to make the invitation list.

Last week when Eva was bringing her two boys to choir and told them that Martin and Karin would be there, her oldest (who is a year older than Martin at the same school) asked if Martin was the one "that laughs all the time." :)

Sometimes I worry that he's going to get teased or bullied because he prefers to play with the girls and do "girl things," but at the same time, I'm GLAD that he's not a "regular" boy. I know that sounds weird. But most of the little boys I know are SO loud and rambunctious and wild and even violent. They play with cars and balls and throw things and fight. I'm sure Anders would be happy if Martin were a little more interested in sports of some kind, ANY kind, but I'm glad that my little boy is creative and sensitive and bright and quiet and funny.

By girl things, I mean he likes to draw and paint and spell and write and read and sing and play with dolls and animals and houses and games. He arranges little bedrooms for his stuffed animals. He collects leaves because they're pretty. He doesn't want to watch violent cartoons. He rarely plays with cars and trucks or anything involving a ball. He's already shown interest in playing chess and other fairly complicated board games. He's a fiend for complicated computer learning games. His favorite film is A Bug's Life. He arranges things in conscious order: by size, by type, by color. Once, when he was around 18 months old, he was playing with a set of those large plastic snap-together beads. He had set them out in a pattern on the floor, and I suddenly realized that they were in the order of the color scale of the rainbow.

The other day, a friend of ours commented on how intelligent Martin is, and that he wished he saw the same things in his own son, who is a VERY typical boy child, in the most stereotypical of ways. There is nothing whatsoever wrong with being a typical boy child (or girl child) but I think it's a shame that in our world, GIRLS who like to play with boy things are encouraged, for the most part, while BOYS who like to play with girl things are discouraged because they'll be seen as weak or gay or effeminate. When they ought to be seen as creative and interesting and caring and special. I know that's how most people see my son. He amazes me nearly every day and I'm just his mother. Think if I was a classmate or a friend!

 contemplative
mood: contemplative
music: Madonna—Live to Tell


Comments
(no subject) - (Anonymous)

He is :) I know every mom thinks their kids are special, but he really IS special. :)

No, not every mom does. Some parents, mothers and fathers, project their expectations, unrealised hopes, and frustrated dreams onto their children and expect them to grow up as extensions of themselves and become bitterly disappointed when the child shows individuality. (Not that I'm, you know, speaking from experience, or anything.) So kudos and brava to you that you do recognise Martin's individuality and talents. Sounds like he's a great kid!

hugs to you anyway, even though you're not speaking from experience or anything. :) Thanks for pointing that out.

(no subject) - (Anonymous)

I am SO glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read your last sentence! I would have sprayed it all over the computer screen when I screamed with laughter. LOL!!!

I can't believe that a daycare in this day and age would actually do something like that: separate the toys according to gender and actually tell you to take away toys from a child and tell them it's not appropriate because of their sex. WTF?!?!!

He sounds fantastic!!!! So gorgeous! I know a few men who would have been like that as children and they are just gorgeous sensitive men and I adore them and the way their minds work.

You have a very special little guy there and it is so good to hear that you let him express himself naturally. *smile*

He is such a cutie! It's so wonderful that you recoginze and encourage his creativeness and talent and don't try to force him to be a football star or something. I got warm fuzzies from reading your post.

What a wonderful thing to write about your son! He's so cute too with that mischevious little smile! haha You brought a tear to my eye with this display of love. :)

Yep, ditto here. He sounds great! He actually sounds a bit the way Lennart's mother described him as a kid, and he grew up to be a super kind, funny, intelligent man with a great job, nice friends, and everyone admires him. (I'm so lucky I get to be his wife! ;)

Anyway, he is a beautiful little boy, and from the sounds of it, that's both inside and out. I like reading the way you talk about your kids. It's really neat!

That's what I hope will happen for Martin :) That he'll grow up to inspire that kind of love from his friends, co-workers, wife/sambo/lover/whatever :) I don't see how he can miss, at this point :)

Awww, what a sweetie. That's the kind of parent I wish more people were.. supportive of what the kid actually likes and not what they want them to like. (Ignore odd sentence structure in last sentence, I've only been out of bed for fifteen minutes and cannot think properly yet.) Oh, and your fans want to hear about your little girl sometime soon, too. :)

haha! :) I know! I've been spending the day when I should be concentrating on work, thinking about what to say about my angel baby Karin. LOL! :) 15 minutes out of bed and you're already on the computer? get a life Kisha! :P

What're you talking about?! It's a small house. I wake up, get out of bed, put on my robe, walk to the computer and turn it on. That takes about half a minute. Then I can go wander around the house doing morning things for another two minutes, so four minutes after I wake up, I can have my email and friends page up and mostly read after seven. Fifteen minutes, now that's some seriously long awake time! :p

wait a sec, you can't have it both ways. :) In your first post you said you'd only been awake 15 minutes and you couldn't think properly yet (implying it was too short) and now you say it's some seriously long awake time because you can accomplish so much in that time period. Considering the brain function problem, I'm impressed :) LOL!

You're missing some crucial information here, I think. I don't have all that much brain functioning power at ANY time. :) You learn to make do.. ;)

I think it's great that you support him and don't try and push him in a particular direction. He's a very lucky boy to be able to know that he is loved for being who he truly is. Not too many people have that luxury. What a gorgeous smile! But do I detect a cheeky twinkle in those eyes?

definitely :) He's got a wicked sense of humor, gets puns, and has the most infectious laugh I've ever heard :)

Such a handsome young man, and with a personality you should be very proud of. Obviously the reason why he is liked so much among the girls too, I'm sure that will only get stronger as he gets older.

I think he will be just the kind of young man that future in laws will love.
A credit to you..

Thank you! He's a total sweetheart, and will make someone very happy someday, I'm sure :)

October 2019
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