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GET OFF GET UP GET OUT
Don't write much on Tuesdays: karate class until late and baths seem to suck the motivation out of me. Rarely write on Wednesdays: choir until 9:30 p.m., don't get home until after 10. Hard to write on Fridays: MYSKVÄLL and usually other late-night plans and commitments. Ditto Saturdays, though I seem to manage them better, probably because I'm posting earlier in the day. Which means typically I'm writing in this journal on Sunday, Monday and sometimes Thursday. Oh, the other weeknights do pop up for showing here and there, but I've noticed a pattern.

I haven't posted on a Tuesday since August 19 (day after school started)...the day Karin's karate class term began. Hmmm....

Writing is my basic form of self-expression these days and it's a bit bothersome that I seem to be doing so much less of it than I used to. I don't think it's because my basic busyness has increased, though the kids' certainly has. If I look back at the past several years of online journaling, the gradual drop in posts is rather dramatic. I went from nearly every day (!) in 2003, 2004 and 2005, even into 2006 to a definite decline in 2007 and a substantial slacker stamp for all of 2008 to date.

What happened? Am I completely burnt-out? Maybe I just have less to say or perhaps writing every day for 3.5 years used up all my anecdotes! Actually, I think I'm much more choosy about what I put out here. I no longer spend a post on things that I think no one is interested in because a) who cares and b) god, who cares?? Being self-conscious about daily blabbering is a good thing in most respects, but I don't want to trickle away into silence. And anyway, the person most interested in what I have to say is ME, after all. So why not put it out there anyway?

Here's what I think. I think the fact that I haven't been walking this year translates to a dearth of posting. No nature = Muse-less Lizardek. Also a fatter one, which is depressing and de-motivating and vicious-circling. Even if my warbling paeans to this wonderful world don't always translate to a cascade of comments, and maybe the two things—not walking and not writing—aren't linked at all, they are both trends that I want to reverse. It doesn't help that I am just coming to this conclusion as the darkness descends and the unwelcoming weather begins. Who wants to be out walking in the wind and the rain and the cold and the ice? Not me: I'm really a lazy sack of slack.

BUT, concerted efforts in the right direction are rumbling. I've asked both the kids to help me in my fight to get back on track and hope they will also be willing to brave the elements with me at least once in awhile. I know I am the only one that can turn my own attitude around, and I'm also well aware of my own self-sabotage. UGH. That I have to fight this battle with myself over and over and over makes me want to smack myself upside the head.

Enough already. Just do it. November is neither too late nor too early for resolution, right?
 restless
mood: restless
music: Suzanne Vega—Solitude Standing


Comments
(Anonymous)

I think you are talking to me!!! I gained too much in the past 2 months and have also quit walking! And it shows...much to my disappointment in myself. SO, I'll join you in walking, at least in thoughts, since you're too far away to walk beside. I suspect you're right about not posting when you are not getting out in nature. That is a majot way to increase our energy and also lift our feelings. Love, Lizardmom

I agree. And it's a bummer that you AREN'T here to go walking with! :)

The weather has turned wet and cold here, making it less than enticing to get outside. Especially for a person who doesn't like being wet and cold. But I went out for a little jog yesterday in between showers (well, mostly between) and was so glad I did. I agree with you that there is something about it that just feeds you somehow and opens the mind and enriches one's spirit (and thus, provides motivation to do other things).

Good luck getting back into it. I think as soon as you do it, it'll just be easy to do again and again, then everything will fall back into place the way you want it to.

Good for you! :)

I was almost sure the title of your entry would be "Never on Tuesday", with Lizardek replacing Melina Mercouri.

Hey, with a family as busy as yours, I'm impressed that you find time to blog at all! (We're drowning over here with NO EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES AT ALL... I cannot begin to imagine what will happen when my girls are old enough to *do things*!) I know just what you mean about choosing your writing topics carefully to make sure they are of interest to someone (I went a while without posting after a friend wrote how sick she was of everyone's self-centered blogging)... But I'm discovering that the topic is not nearly as important as how it's written. Some of my favorite writers can scribble about a piece of trash they found on the way to work, and it's suddenly hilarious or insightful. And I do love your writing, so keep up the "blabbering!"

"self-centered blogging" ? ha! That's 99% of teh Intarwebs! :D

(Anonymous)

I hear ya. I haven't been posting as much as usual either. Mainly due to our computer being MIA, but it's back now and I haven't been on it once! Not once! Poor thing must think I don't love it anymore!

Anyhoo...your post reminded me of something else. I was having cabin fever last Saturday and in order to get out of the house for awhile, I decided to head to the mall for an hour or two. Along the way, I saw more than a handful of people out walking and strolling. Hadn't even crossed my mind to do that instead. What? Out walking by myself? In the near dark? In the cold? But here were all these other people doing it and what's more, they actually looked like they were enjoying themselves. Made me feel so guilty since I had chosen the warmth of a mall to entertain myself and a warm car to get me there.

So I will join you on your journey of trying to walk more. I dusted off my running shoes back in early Fall, but then caught a cold and now well...it's dark...always dark and cold, so the running has once again fallen to the side. Sigh.

XO,
Cousin Kathryn

It's certainly more fun if you have a walking companion or a group, but I don't have any such here in the village, alas. And with our crazy schedules I suspect it would be hard to get someone who would be able to roll with the changes.

(Anonymous)

I love the phrase lazy sack of slack. Good luck this winter, I certainly plan on hibernating!

-Heather

I was just thinking this morning that I really need to walk. There are ads on the radio all the time that "just 30 minutes a day" makes a huge difference in your health, and heading off all kinds of disease at the pass. Ugh. I hate it, but surely I can manage 30 minutes a day!

Surely I can, too. C'mon, Sheryl! We can do it!

(Anonymous)
be serious

um, "sack of slack"??!! delusional, perhaps--

Miss No-one-could-keep-up-with-your-productivity-like-ever!!

~bp

Re: be serious

I did write "sack of shit" but changed it at the last minute, because I KNEW I'd get reactions about that! :D

(Anonymous)
tight pants

Oh...it's so hard to get out in this delightful November weather...much rather be indoors doing anything else but excercising...but my pants are getting tight! Ouch...not good, not good at all before the holidays. So it's up off the tush...bring my lunch to work again....and read a little of your blog to get motivated again! lol If you lived closer...we could walk together! but....I can nag you! (not)

Have you walked today???

Carol in Sweden

Re: tight pants

All over Stockholm! :)

You are NOT allowed to do this!

You knew I was flat out all day yesterday and today and STILL you decide to post! And after I sent you a postcard from Stockholm, too. I'm beginning to get a complex about this...

Writing is my basic form of self-expression these days and it's a bit bothersome that I seem to be doing so much less of it than I used to.

Until recently, I had the same problem. Now I seem to be suffering from verbal diarrhoea :) Not that it is helping me lose weight or anything....

In my case, it was an emotionally draining year that sapped my energy and unlike some people who write well in those circumstances, I tend to clam up and withdraw. But that was only part of the problem and I wonder if you share my other part-problem.

I consider myself a sociable "blogger" (or "journaller" or whatever the right term is), that is, one who reads and comments at lots of other people's journals and blogs - there are at least 40 that I read regularly, and by regularly I mean often daily. Looking at your sidebar, I see you have a long list as well. I found over time that I was spending a great deal more time reading other people's blogs than I do writing my own (and this in itself is, I think, a mistake). The fact that there were some fabulous writers out there that just made me feel totally ineffectual didn't help either. But the time factor was one thing - I'd read and comment and then find my allotted internet time had disappeared leaving me no time to gather my own thoughts or attempt to write.

Perhaps your walking theory is right as well. We can all start Lizard Walking by not posting.

So, as we say in Australia, get your arse into gear and start lizard walking.

Re: You are NOT allowed to do this!

How did you know I can walk on water? :D

I agree with you about the time-suck spent reading other great writers that can sometimes sap your motivation with feelings of complete inadequacy, but I used to do that even back when I was writing every day. Of course my writing every day wasn't scintillating stuff most of the time either, so I don't know what writing every day is NECESSARY, but I do want to try and post a bit more than I'm managing now. :)

Re: You are NOT allowed to do this!

How did I know you can walk on water? We gods just know these things :)

I also need to cap the time-suck which is the blogging world, however I can - and do - justify what I do on here for sanity purposes. (At least, I try!)

Re: You are NOT allowed to do this!

Heh! Me, too. My family will just have to suck it up :) haha!

Well, this post inspired me to go out walking, so, THANKS FOR POSTING!!!

GOOD! :D I'm glad to hear it! Yay for walking!

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