lizardek's obiter dictum lizardek Home Now Then Friends Info Ek Family
zird is the word [userpic]
Liz: *grimacing at Martin* YOU! Get in bed! *stands up and zombie chases him into his bedroom*
Martin: *laughs all the way*
Liz: BED! NOW!
Martin: I'm not scared of you! I've got a...*looks wildly around, grabs the first thing at hand* ...a BOOK!
Liz: *stops short, puts hands on hips, mocks* oooo...knowledge is scary!
Liz & Martin: *giggle madly*

I've been thinking about trying to write a post a day for, I don't know...a week? A month? The whole year? I don't think it will happen, though, and I've actually come to the conclusion that I get more comments on posts that come with a little breathing room between them. If you don't comment, you're not reading, right? Only the people who actually comment are reading your blog posts. Isn't that a sad thought? I know it's not true, not by a long shot, but it's a sneaking pathetic little feeling nonetheless.

Sometimes I write what I think is a GREAT post. Pulitzer-worthy, award-winning, frame-able. Then I get 3 comments on it, one of them from my mom, and think, "Hmmmm....well, that must have sucked more than I realized." Why do you suppose that happens? Why would YOUR validation of MY writing, whether it's on-topic or not, mean that much? Why would it become any measure of how good my writing is? Of its value or its worth or its power to COMPEL YOU TO COMMENT?

Weird how this scribbling brings on such feelings of judgment, of me for myself or me for others or me for what others might be thinking. Often I get the most comments on what I think are the most inane ramblings. I can never really predict what will cause people to take the moment to answer or comment or question something I say.

Most of you that read this also write, in the same kind of public forum. How much do the comments you get drive your content? Do you write differently in order to generate them? Do you give a rat's ass about your comments, about WHO is making them, or the amount of them? Part of me doesn't care at all, but part of me does. Acknowledgment and validation are part of the markers we humans hold up to ourselves, and learning to ignore them and forge ahead regardless takes a strong personality.

The comments that I get here, that I answer, and those that I leave on other blogs and journals are part of that network and community that builds friendships and relationships with kindred souls all around the world. The fact that I can tell someone in another country, on the other side of the planet, that I appreciated something she wrote mere minutes after she posts it, is amazing and not to be discounted.

Getting comments from readers, getting validation from friends and acknowledgments from virtual strangers makes me want to be a better writer. It makes me want to show my stuff. I don't know if I can manage to write a post a day for a week or a month or, good lord! all year, but I hope you'll be with me on the journey, whether you respond with a comment or not.
mood: contemplative
music: Royal Crown Revue—Inner City Swing

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I totally know what you mean. The posts I usually like the most are the ones that nobody comments on, which makes me feel a little sad.

I try to not require others' validation, but so often I need it. And so often, I realize that I'm not validating them. It's an interesting conundrum...

I know! It's like you offer up your little baby for their inspection and nobody notices. :D Ever since I realized what comments meant to ME, I've tried to be more conscientious about them for others.


I can't believe that when Martin grabed the book...that you didn't just stop and start reading! Bet he expected that response also! :)
OK, you're making me realize that I really should take the time to write a response instead of just lurking. I don't always think about the writer needing validation or a pat on the back, or just to know that someone is reading. And, sometimes my response is exactly what others have already said, still I'll try to give a response now, as I would probably also want one...IF I was a writer. Love, Lizardmom

Well, he was warding me OFF with it, or planning to whack me if I got any closer :D It was really funny, though.

And honestly I wasn't fishing..., though I DO admit I love getting comments.

Commenting is a sticky wicket. I'm sure (because I speak from experience) concerning the great posts you write, readers don't comment because you've said it all. Comments are difficult for me sometimes because I feel like I need to have something specific and meaty to say. And sometimes I don't, even though in my head I'm nodding or saying "whoa" or "dude" or "so true". I don't write that in comments because it's l-a-m-e.

I read every post you write, and I am SO glad you are on my daily blogging tour. And I really appreciate that YOU are faithful to comment. <3 <3 <3

I've used the term "sticky wicket" before, but realized that even though I know what it means, I had only the vaguest idea of where it came from...something to do with cricket. So I wikipediaed it just now and confirmed. :)

I agree with you -- it IS a bit of a conundrum. I used to very much feel like you: that I had to have something more relevant to say than "whoa, dude" which is, I confess, quite often what I am thinking too. But now? that's enough. If that's my reaction, then by god, that's my response. Because even "whoa, dude" in a comment that someone leaves me is much, much more than that. It's: "whoa dude, I read what you wrote, and I get it." There's a lot of meat and specificity to that, much more than I used to think.

And finally, right back at'cha, babe. I feel exactly the same way about you :)

caught in the comment suck vortex

well-- for reference's sake-- I comment on your site 100X more than I comment anywhere else.

2. (not that I numbered the first one) There is absolutely no rhyme or reason to comments-- they fall into the galaxy of the absurd and if you try to create a formula to generate them, you will gnash your teeth and be foiled--- comments are elusive and, therefore, to simply be enjoyed when they turn up (<--------- my own personal philosophy)

3. You are a good person and great connector-- you either know this, or you don't. Comments will not change the fact.


Re: caught in the comment suck vortex

I had no idea you comment here more than anywhere else and I have to confess that makes me want to jump with joy :D Comments really do fall into the galaxy of the absurd, you're right, they're like little butterflies that might choose to alight...or not :)

If the pen is mightier than the sword, does the book rank inbetween those two?

Depends on who you're stabbing.

In my little blog world, I feel lucky to have a few comments. Sometimes, I post an entry and think, nobody will post to this. AND they don't! But the post has relevance and since, in another post or two, I'll have a few comments, I figure someone must have read those other posts, or they wouldn't come back.

I do wish I had more readers/ comments but I am realizing that if I do this for the comments, I might as well as stop writing there. My blog is about who I am in the moment. And that has value in and of itself.

Btw, I really appreciate your writing. You 'paint' a lovely picture of your family and I feel like I get to know you and your family through your posts. Thanks!


I totally agree with you that if we do this for the comments, we might as well stop writing here! I don't write FOR the comments, but I sure appreciate the ones I get!

in your case, people have usually already said it all ;) (i think you get tons of comments!)
in my case, it´s pretty lonely at my blog comment wise. then again, i have never written as well as you have.

I'm flattered you think so...I always feel like most of my comments are my own responses to the ones I get! I also think that the more I comment on other people's blogs, the more likely they are to comment on mine! :)

Well, I'm what I think of as a sociable blogger, that is, one who reads and comments at lots of other people's blogs - there are at least 40 that I read regularly, and by regularly I mean often daily. A few of these blogs are written and run by small or large teams of bloggers and have large readerships and long, active comments threads. I spend a great deal more time reading other people's blogs than I do writing my own (and this in itself is, I think, a mistake).

I tend to write what I like, without thinking too much of an audience and I don't mind if people comment or not, read it, skip it. I think I've accepted that it is something I have no control over and it doesn't phase me. And a lot of what I write is patent nonsense anyway :-) And with most others I guess I've refined the parameters as far as commenting goes. I really only engage with the bloggers and commenters I like and admire.

When we are ashore, yours is a daily "must read".

OMG I LOVE that userpic...did you make it? Hilarious!!

I'm awfully glad when you are "ashore and writing" I will admit. You're one of my favorite writers, and friends! It's always so nice to see a post or a comment from you, and I always know you will have something succinct and interesting to say.

"Acknowledgment and validation are part of the markers we humans hold up to ourselves, and learning to ignore them and forge ahead regardless takes a strong personality." That is SO true! Even though I want my blog to be for "me", sometimes I will find myself blogging about something I think my friends will like, and comment on. So your above statement is very inspiring to keep true to myself regardless of comments lol. Oh! and I'm very excited to be added to your friend list! Thank you!

You're welcome :)

Inspired by your writing

After reading your words I often don't know what comment to write that would even come close to dignifying the wittiness of your work! So I merely take your words into my head and ponder on them a while...sometimes I comment telepathically. Don't you receive those? lol

At any rate..your blog writing is an inspiration to me...without you I would never have tried blogging in the first place! It has opened a WHOLE NEW WORLD to me...which I needed living out here in the forest! The connections across the globe through this blogging stuff are...well, fantastic, in many ways! (what a dud word but true)

About comments...I hardly get any on mine...but I know that the folks that are reading my blog enjoy it for whatever it is I am putting out there. I'm not motivated by the number of comments or readers. However, I am motivated simply by seeing my own life in another way. I realized that I am my own top viewer of my blog! And soon...I'm going to follow your idea and make a LULU book with it. What a cool way to preserve my bit of history for my kid! Anyway.... made me think in print...instead of just in my head! Thanks for your blogging posts! I always enjoy them!

OH...and I'll remember to put my name this time! (Yes, it was me who offered you the opportunity to come use your restlessness to my advantage over here at my house! and if you're still feeling restless....:-O

Carol in Sweden

Re: Inspired by your writing

LOL! I wish I DID get the mental comments! That would be so cool :)

I'm motivated by seeing my life in another way, too, and reflecting over it, and even re-reading what I've written later. I'm probably the top viewer of my own blog as well. Ha! Lulu is excellent. I'm editing 2008 right now. I used (it also does at least 1 other blog format besides LJ) to create the PDF and then I use InDesign to layout, but you could just use the PDF that is created.

Not as restless as I was, though. I've only got 3 days left of vacation...was thinking I'd tackle the kids' rooms before I have to go back to work.

I really have nothing to say about this....


Re: I really have nothing to say about this....

ha! you do, too!!

In theory, comments in no way affect my worth or writing ability. In reality, I'm a comment whore (a classy one, of course). I don't necessarily get down when a post doesn't generate a lot of buzz, but I thrive on the connection and encouragement when people do let me know what they think. (And I agree with BP -- you're fabulous at this!) No pressure on writing a post a day or anything, but I'll definitely be reading. :)

All the comment whores on my reading list are classy! :D I think you hit it: the connection and encouragement are what it's all about!

Comments mean the world to me. I don't understand lurking one iota. To read is the work. The right to comment is payment. Also, to write is the work, to receive the comment is to be paid.

I hang like a silly and pathetic tattered leaf on the last shred of branch hoping, hoping, hoping that some wind will pick me up and understand me.

Here, right now, I understand you...wwhhhhooooshhhhhh...

I tend to lurk on some sites, but usually it's the big guns like Finslippy and Julia Hippogriffs and Dooce. And I don't always comment, even on my friends' posts, but I DO try to do it more often than not.

These days, my time online is stretched so thin that I'm happy if I get to read my friends list. Commenting has become something I am not always able to do in a timely fashion and when it gets too far past the date, I have to really feel the need to make a comment to feel like it's worth the person's time to come back and read it.

Often, I also feel like I really need to spend some time to get my comment to come out the way I mean it and then too much time has gone by and blah, it never gets done. Those are the ones I'm saddest about.

Even when someone comments late on a post that's old, it still gets read and appreciated :)


Been hiding under the covers for a while, but I'm finally surfing again. Yes, comments are really important to me too, and when I don't get very many it does get depressing, especially when it's cold and dark outside to begin with.


It bums me out sometimes too, when I don't get many comments. This post sure is generating them, though! I think I hit a tender spot with a lot of people. :)

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lizardek's obiter photos
lizardek's obiter photos

Feeling generous? Be my guest!

I can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.

Abraham Lincoln

obiter snippets

Layout thanks to dandelion.
Findus the cat as used in my user icon and header is the creation of Sven Nordqvist.