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STOP LOOK LISTEN
With rushing winds and gloomy skies
The dark and stubborn Winter dies:
Far-off, unseen, Spring faintly cries,
Bidding her earliest child arise; March!

—Bayard Taylor

If you don't like the weather in Sweden, just wait five minutes—that was certainly true today. We woke to blizzardly sideways snow and over the course of the day, we had sunshine, blue skies, grey skies, rain, clouds, snow again, and sunshine again. March comes in like a lion and goes out like an LOLcat. A capricious and frivolous month, for sure.

The fact that it is nearly April—April!—3 months down in the year already, is blowing my mind. Look what happens when you put your head down and forge blindly through your days! It's not just slipping away, it's positively melting. Look what happens when your mind is on what's coming up, what you're looking forward to, instead of what is happening right now. I shake my head at myself. Stop, look, listen. Sit down, slow down, take a breath, enjoy the moment.

It's those pre-spring blues, that when-will-it-ever-get-here feeling of dejection and yet, it was light until nearly 7 p.m. tonight, that brilliant fading orange across the blue of the sky as we drove to Karin's karate class, through freshly turned fields, past new construction, over the bridge behind Skarhult castle. Soon, when it's still and clear, we'll see paragliders landing in the grasses of Eslöv's little airfield. Soon, I'll be able to take my walking shoes and do the rounds on the jogger's path up behind the hill among the trees. Soon it will be more than crocus and snowdrops. That's the nice thing about the waiting for spring: it's always rewarded.

This stretchy, drum-hollow feeling will pass, as do all such things. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, not at all, it's not that...it's more the small punches that rock your world more than you expect that have me feeling this way: a friend's diagnosis, another friend's farewell to blogging, a colleague you like that is going on maternity leave thus leaving your days that little bit less lively, the load of work, the uncertainty of financial turmoil that murmurs like an underground stream everywhere.

It's the sniping of the children at each other and at you, your gut reaction overwhelming your parental abilities and your usual good sense. You react to every flare and strike at every threat, flinch at every movement in your peripheral vision. Some days, some weeks, some months you must just put your head down and forge through, regardless of the consequences of suddenly finding yourself in April. April's not so bad, even if it rains a lot (as when does it not in Sweden). April is a harbinger, a herald and the threshold we carry ourselves over to spring. It's a reminder and a reward.

And while I know it, too, shall pass, I'm looking forward to it, even while I remind myself to live in the moment. :)

Springity Sproingity Billowy Blizzards of Belated Birthday Wishes to johann_metzger and emmabovary!
 mellow
mood: mellow
music: Ingrid Michaelson—The Way I Am


Comments

You wrote this so well, the pull, the draw, the hope, but yet the passing moment. How do we do both? I don't know. I'd like to do both, though.

(Anonymous)
seasonal rush

That's beautiful Liz...and oh so true...I used to be so grumpy waiting for spring and complaining in my head that it would NEVER get here soon enough...but I've learned to enjoy the ANTICIPATION of spring too....see the small green buds poking up from the ground, listen to the birds coming back, and the lovely return of the LIGHT early in the morning and staying later at night....every day brings some new sign of the season....now I don't want to rush it...slow down...enjoy it.

Carol in Sweden

(Anonymous)

Winter has passed and spring is on the calendar, but I didn't even take note of the day it turned! Despite my lack of knowing spring is now in season, the trees are in full bud, the daffodils have poked their strong green heads up, purple iris are daintily waving at the sky and the grass is easter basket green. So with the passing of the season, we don't notice until we breathe the fresh air. Or it knocks us smack in the face. Maybe it is just humans who don't feel it until it is full-on spring. I don't know. As you concluded, indeed we will have to remind ourselves to live in the moment.

btw, I had to unplug my computer in order to mop up fish tank water, and plug it all back together. You were foremost on my mind as I succeeded in this endeavor!

Guess what we found on the floor by the fish tank this morning: a suicide! Who apparently leaped 4 inches out of the water through a cable hole in the tank COVER and hit the floor sometime in the middle of the night. God knows how he managed to pull that one off, but he sure paid for his acrobatics!

Thank you for the birthday wishes!

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I can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.

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