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VICIOUS CYCLE
I can't seem to stop eating. I don't know if it's for comfort or just a general bear-like impulse to bulk up the winter stores before hibernation, thanks to the descending darkness and general gloom of the season. It's hard to get out of bed in the mornings. It's hard not to go back to it when the sun never shows it's face and it rains for 3 days straight. It's relatively warm or all this rain would be snow. Anyway, I can't seem to stop. I hate when I get like this; it feels like it takes a gargantuan effort to smack myself, yell "Snap out of it!" and find my motivation again.

The thing is, I just can't have snacks in the house. Nothing salty, nothing sweet. When I'm in one of these phases, nothing is safe. It doesn't help to think, "Okay, I'll just eat this, then it will be all gone, and I'll be okay" because there is always something else I can find. Nothing seems to satisfy the craving for long, and I end up feeling bloated and aggravated at myself and my stupid self-sabotage. Why can't I just nibble on some kohlrabi when I'm in this mood? Why does it have to be bread and fat and salt and sugar answer the call? ARGH.

I'm still going to WW, though I'm dreading it this week. I know I can reverse this trend—AGAIN—if I want to. But apparently I don't want to, because I keep doing this! I don't want any advice about any of it, either. I'm just venting at myself. Everything that can be said, has been said. I know. I know, I know, I know.

*sigh*

I'm getting off the computer and going to power-walk on my treadmill until my feet are bloody stumps. RIGHT NOW.
 pissed off
mood: pissed off
music: None. Just me and my stupid stupidity


Comments

I go crazy right before I'm supposed to have a period, even though I don't actually have them anymore. I want salt and sweet! It's an insane impulse as well. I almost feel like I'll die if I don't get it.

I just had mine, though, so not sure that's it. ARGH.

I think there is definitely something to be said for the time of year (if not month, yes!). I know well enough not to keep snack food in the house, but ::embarrassed cough:: I've found myself sneaking spoonfuls of corn syrup when nobody's looking. It is damn hard at 4:30 on a cold afternoon to stick to long-term nutrition goals! I don't want to throw off your pissed power-walking groove, but am I at least allowed to commend you on exercising? It's more motivation than a lot of people can summon when the sky turns gray.

haahaha! I can at least say I have NEVER eaten a spoonful of corn syrup! The thought has never even crossed my mind! Is it really that sweet that it stops the cravings? :D

(Anonymous)
From Megsie

Uh, ME TOO. 'nough said.

(PLUS having Halloween Candy in the house DOES NOT HELP.)

Re: From Megsie

AGH. I hadn't even thought about Halloween Candy! I have to go buy it before Friday. At least it's Swedish gummi candy which I don't like and therefore won't eat. But the Peeps my mom sent are IN DANGER.

(Anonymous)
been there, know the feeling

I do think it is seasonal-- I mean, if we were at the beach-- the WARM, SUNNY beach in our bikinis and light cotton wraps-- and our little beach cottage gave out onto white sands and the fresh lull of the surf-- and the sexy, salty breeze flipped the long white sheers back and forth . . don't you think we'd be more in the mood for a spritzer with lime?

yeah. . . I'm thinking it's the weather-- hope you can turn it around-- but whatever you do STOP beating yourself up-- we ALL do it. and it sucks, but at least you know you're human (in case you were wondering)

bisous, bp

Re: been there, know the feeling

You are so darling. I would never be at the beach in a bikini, but I love the thought regardless. Am trying very very hard to turn it around. :)

(no subject) - (Anonymous)

Really? Because sometimes I swear I can't tell the damn difference. :/

Hmmm... Maybe you can't just nibble on kohlrabi because it's disgusting and cabbagey and ick? :) But hang in there, we know you can!

What kohlrabi have YOU been nibbling?? Kohlrabi isn't disgusting and cabbagey and ick! It's awesome. But it's not as good as toast and butter or salted cashews or Reese's.

Ugh, I hate that feeling, but hang in there! Rice cakes?

Ew! I hate those things! I can't stand the smell. My kids love them and eat them all the time and I have to get up and leave the room. Wish it wasn't so, since I know they are a good alternative to most snacks.

(Anonymous)

step, step, step, step . . . I'm walking with ya!

~ sherry

I'm glad to know I'm not alone!!

*heehee* It's the inner board members, and guess who prevails during these dreary celebratory months...that one who likes the snacks... she just takes over. I haven't figured out what to do with her. At my house, when another board member insisted last evening that we not open that chocolate bar because no we wouldn't eat just a couple of squares... well, this one who has taken charge, she sent me looking for the jar of chocolate chips that are supposed to be for cookies! Man, those chocolate chips were good. Almost as good as the chocolate bar would have been.

haaa! chocolate chips are my go-to-last-resort when there is nothing else sweet in the house! :)

(no subject) - (Anonymous)

Oh poo. Okay, you're right. I KNOW. I do. It just aggravates me that I keep doing this over and over and over. And yes, there is a magic dress size :) UGHS, Rée. UGHS.

You go, lady. Bloody stumps are hot! :)

Really though: if you have the tenacity to read as voraciously as you do and accomplish as much as you do, you can do this.

Hugs,
C

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