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MEH, BEGONE!
When I left work today, on time for once, at 4 p.m., it was still light out. The sky was cloudy but it was high and white and light. There's a lot of snow still on the ground, so everything has this grey frozen sheen to it, and with the reflective cloud cover, it feels much like being in a cold steel box. BUT! It's a cold steel box that is getting lighter inside. Even though we've had a decidedly cold winter so far, it's still not THAT cold. I walk around with my coat open all the time. A news report on a research study by NASA states that this past decade was the warmest on record. Anyone else think we're already past the point of no return? I'm not sure what I think about it anymore. Resigned crossed with a frisson of existential anticipatory terror, perhaps.

Anders and the kids are leaving Sunday morning for their annual ski trip up north. This year, there is a ton of snow, unlike some of the past years when they've barely had snow at all. The past 2 years, when they've had homework assignments from school to take with them, they've mostly consisted of a few math book pages and "write a diary for each day of your trip". This year, Martin's at a new school and Karin has "the homework teacher" and they both came home with a HUGE pile of books, a big long list of pages to read and problems to solve, several work sheets AND the diary task.

Every year I've looked forward to their trip, because 1) I know they will have fun and 2) I don't have to be responsible to anyone but myself for a whole week. I clean the house the day they leave and it stays clean for seven days. Nothing moves out of its proper place unless I move it. And when I move things I put them back when I'm done with them. I know it sounds selfish to be glad to have a family-free week and hey! It IS selfish. I don't feel at all guilty about it, but the thing is, the past couple of weeks have been so rough that I am not feeling my usual glee at their impending departure. I just feel sort of meh.

I know, I know. Meh is a pretty privileged place for someone like me considering how awful so many other people around the world right now have it. I think part of my meh is having so much suffering constantly on my mind. Horrors like the situation in Haiti and elsewhere press on my head and leave me feeling helpless.

And believe me, I'm as tired of feeling meh as you might suspect. Meh is not me. So, today, I decided to moonstruck myself with a virtual slap to the cheek. I went to a lunch in town, for the first time in ages, getting OUT of the office (just what I needed) and on the way I stopped at the magazine shop and bought a pile of magazines. And I've started my annual blog-to-book project. And I'm listening to really upbeat music, and clicking on the wonderful, inspiring, motivational links that my amazing and lovely blog-girlfriends keep strewing in my path like so many rose petals.

If home is my usual positive attitude, I'm clicking my heels together three times, determined to get there if willpower and a grimace smile will do it. I'll return, just like the light.

So Totally Geek-Cool: Periodic Table of Typefaces
 determined
mood: determined
music: Rigo—Rinkeby Dance


Comments
(Anonymous)
From Megsie

Hello dear friend~

I think this is a superb way to defeat the "meh" in your life! And, I am sure once you are in the quiet of your house, reveling in the freedom, you will be able to claim victory! At least I hope so :) Sometimes you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

xoxo

Re: From Megsie

It seems to be incrementally working. I'm feeling motivated: a good sign!

Oh, I forgot how I love that "moonstruck moment." Privileged meh or not, you don't have to compare your feelings to anybody else's anywhere.
This is a bump and as inconvenient as it is, you'll get over it, it looks like you are already working hard at that.
I'm climbing the same or similar bump (as you know) and I guess I'm using the privileges I have to push myself through in whatever way I can each day.
Happy other side of the bump. See you there soon.

So long ago that movie came out and I still use that line whenever appropriate! :) See you definitely on the other side soon!

Yup, see you over that bump.

I feel similarly about 2010. Meh. Moonstruck me, would you?

*smack* SNAP OUT OF IT! *SMACK*

(Anonymous)

I know how you feel. Luckily 2010 has started good for me but the horrible things going on in the world is not brightening your mood is it? Awful. If there is one "good" thing that comes out of this horrible disaster, it's that it's alerts the rest of the world - us! - of the poverty and horrible conditions these people have to suffer even withouth disasters.

How many of us knew? I have to admit, I didn't. And that's appalling! And it's even more appalling it should have to take one of the worst natural disasters in history for me to know!

SHAME on me! :(

SHAME on us!

It does give our own problems some perspective, doesn't it? They still remain problems of course, but in the bigger picture - we are so privileged. Unbelievably privileged.

And that's why you feel so helpless now when all you can do to help is give money - and then go on with your privileged life.

I wish there was so much more one could do for these people!

I hope 2010 will be great for you and your family. Enjoy this week on your own. By the end of it, you will be so happy to have them back! :)

Hugs!
Mia

http://mias.blogg.se


I think all of us know on some level, but it's VERY easy to ignore most of the time. Thanks for the encouraging words, Mia :)

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I can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.

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