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WINNING FOR LOSERS
The kids and I bought the first season of Glee on DVD on Friday night and it consists of 13 episodes and we have already watched 9 of them. Way to ration ourselves, eh? It's been a really long time since I've gotten hooked on a TV show like this. I don't think Mythbusters and Dirty Jobs count, exactly. They're not the same kind of show. We missed the showing of the season on Swedish TV (which runs about 6 months behind the States) except for the last couple of episodes. I think the last TV show I was hooked on at this kind of level was The West Wing.

Enough about that! TV rots your brian. Also, your brian.

I was about ready to brain my daughter twice today. And then I was ready to scour the neighborhood searching for her, because I was afraid she'd run away because we'd had a fight and I yelled at her. First, she crawled into bed with me this morning at 5 a.m. and, accidentally, I'm sure, since she KNOWS BETTER, woke me up. I couldn't get back to sleep and man am I grouchy when I get woken up and can't get back to sleep and then have to work all day and then have to do, well, anything.

Actually, I am pretty amazed that this is the first time, in the 6 weeks my husband has been gone since the year began (and okay, one of those weeks she was WITH him, but still, he's been GONE FOR SIX WEEKS, and okay, granted, not all in a row, but STILL), that she has climbed in bed with me. That's practically a miracle! This is the kid who asks every single night if I can lie down with her when she goes to bed. Every single night! Sometimes I say yes, but I swear, it drives me crazy. Because I just want her to go to bed already, so I can unwind before I go to bed. And sometimes I say yes but only for a minute and she's okay with that. And sometimes I say no and then I hate myself for hours because someday she's hopefully probably going to stop asking and I'll be SAD about it, because I too can be a completely irrational being and because my baby won't need me anymore and she'll get her co-sleeping jones with a boyfriend instead, and AAGH la la la la. But sometimes I say yes.

Anyfreaking way, where the hell was I? She woke me up. At 5 a.m. So I've been a little manic all day, running on not enough sleep and I have that sort of achey feeling right now under my eyes, and I had told her before school this morning to please ask one of her soccer buddies if she could ride with them to practice (only it's not really practice, it's running for 2km out in the military training zone where the cows roam free with the tanks...oh, don't even ask, just go with it) and she said she would, and when I called her later to check in and see that she was doing her homework instead of playing WoW or Star Wars Battlefront or GreenLife Emerald whatever-the-sims, I also double-checked, did she ask if she could ride with someone and yes, she had and could, hooray, I don't have to figure out how to get out to the tank/cow zone. Excellent.

Hung up, finished working, drove home, fixed dinner and then chivvied her into her training suit and shoes and waterbottle and get out the door, they'll be here any minute to pick you up, only they WEREN'T and then she said well I can't remember what he said and maybe I didn't exactly ASK them and I don't know and I lost my temper and yelled at her. The kid she was supposed to be riding with lives in our neighborhood, so GO WALK UP THERE and see if they are home! Only she wouldn't go and then I got even madder because how am I supposed to win the Worst Mother in the World Award if I don't give it my all? So I yelled some more and said GO NOW and find out if they are going to drive and don't come back inside until you DO!!

So then she slammed the door and I assumed she was finally going up to his house only she didn't come back and it started to get dark and I finally calmed down enough to think a little more rationally. And after half an hour I thought, hmm...she's just mad and went to a friend's house. Only she wasn't at Emilia's and she wasn't at Henrik's and there wasn't any answer at Jonatan's (the one she was supposed to ride with). So I paced around the house, peering out the windows, and went outside and looked up and down the street and back in again. And wondered if I should go for a walk and look for her. And then I thought, well maybe they DID pick her up and maybe I should wait to really freak out until she would be home anyway if she HAD been picked up and sure enough, right on time, she walked in the door, and I said "Where have you been?" and she said, surprised, "Running" and I said, "Oh. So they did pick you up" and she said, with a sniff for their disregard for punctuality, "Yes, but not until ten minutes before we were supposed to be there," and I felt really bad inside and let them watch 2 episodes of Glee.

For all you mothers out there who can't possibly win that Award now: you're welcome.

And then they got ready for bed, and I kissed them both goodnight and she didn't ask me if I would lie down with her. But I think I will go surprise her right now.

The end.
 guilty
mood: guilty
music: Glee—Defying Gravity


Comments
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(Anonymous)

Oh, bother, you are a delightful mother.

And: I'm totally addicted to Glee. Shame, shame. I resisted it after my years of directing high school musicals, but I think, after several years of recovery, I can enjoy.

- Molly
http://www.glossary-of-field-work.blogspot.com/

Why shame? It's superb, over-the-top joyous campiness. I love it!

Charlie does this to me pretty much every time he's here. Drives me crazy! The worst thing is that he falls right to sleep and even snores while I'm left wide awake. Meh.

Meh, indeed!

I love love love Glee. So smart, and I had a high school boyfriend who was WAY into "show choir", his school's version of Glee Club. Memories!

I was in a lot of choirs when I was a teen, but never this kind of show choir: crazy stuff!

Oh the Mama Dramas we go through...Thanks for sharing yours, so I can be glad mine are grown, and sad mine are grown. (And there are STILL Mama Dramas, grown or not, as you well know.)

I don't know "Glee" Do tell.

Glee is on Fox, and it's on hiatus right now until mid-April, of the first season. Really great stuff. :)

You are really just too cute. Three hugs for the three of you. There is a scene in a movie (the name of which always escapes me) that comes up at times like these. The kid is playing football and gets knocked down and his mother rushes out onto the field and picks him up and takes him to the locker room. The kid wakes up and realizes his MOM picked him up and he's totally weirded out. And she explains that it's like those sponges, you know, the kind that are all tiny and flat and then you put them in water and they blow up to, like, 400 times their regular size, and THAT's what being a mother is. You can't help it, you just swell up to 400 times your regular self.

Because there is nothing abnormal about wishing to sleep, or expecting when someone says they have done something, they have. We just EXPECT to be perfect in the face of child annoyances.

Something like that. In the end, we always said, they will have something to talk about with their therapists. And so they do.

LOL! I'm a 400x sponge and damn proud of it! :D

(Anonymous)
quite possibly

this might be my most favorite blog post that you have ever written.

It is so ALIVE!!!!

and also? Yay for Worst Mothers and wayward almost teens!! Love it, love you both, bp

Re: quite possibly

Hee! I write a post showing just how terrible a parent I can be and everyone loves it! Go figure :D

(Anonymous)

AAAAH! The fruit doesn't fall very far from the tree!
I hope she moved over to make roon for you! :0
However, in the story I wanted to relate to you tonight- I phoned your nephew to sing "Happy Birthday" and after a couple of bars I asked him if I sang good, and he replied "Not as well as Aunt Liz"!!!!! Ther, that should make you feel better! Love, Lizardmom

(Anonymous)

I can go you better.... He asked me not to sing!! And he is my kid!!! :(
LOL
Seester

From Megsie

Oh, we have all had days like that. I more than most, I am afraid. I love the comment about therapy...so true. Sorry you had to go through this, it is yucky. But, thanks for sharing it. Maybe we can start a club! What should we name it?

Re: From Megsie

The Brian Our Children Club? :P

People constantly ask my mother for parenting advice, because she is so close with her grown children. She always says, "I didn't kill them," because if the children survive, it's a WIN in the parent column.

Have fun watching Glee!

Haaaa! Your mom and my mom should get together and go bowling :) (as should we! well, maybe not bowling, but you get the idea)

I'm with BP: Worst Mother in the World Award = fantastic blog fodder. :) Is it completely heinous to admit I was laughing through your entire story? For the record, I would have yelled too. Bulging neck muscles and all.
Oh, and "TV rots your brian. Also, your brian." still has me giggling. Isn't Glee the best kind of brain rot though?

It totally is! SO much better than the reality TV that's been dominating for so long :)

Oh yes. These days. The words, the actions, the guilt. At least there's the guilt, right? That proves we aren't the worst mothers in the world.

I tried the Glee thing but found it too contrived and fake. Never could let it swallow me up. I may give it a second shot however, once I'm through rotting my brian on Lost, Big Bang Theory and Cougartown.

It's totally contrived and fake, but it's also hilarious, campy, joyful and so over-the-top you can't help but get caught up in the crazy.

I hate days like that.

They're not so fun, but at least I get a good post of out it! :D

Oh please. You are nowhere near close to winning.

Sorry you had a -day-. Tomorrow is all fresh with nothing in it yet.

Ha! I won THAT day! :P

Best Writer, Though. That Counts More.

If I'd had coffee in my mouth, it would have gone right through my nose at the "Worst Mother of the Year" part. Otherwise, it would have gone all over the keyboard.

That day Karin has won an Olympic gold medal in whichever sport she'll participate in, you two will be able to remember days like that one with "fondness".. for a lack of a better English word. Of course if you project a gold medal, in a few years time you will have her to run to the field instead of riding with a friend.

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