zird is the word (lizardek) wrote,
zird is the word
lizardek

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WINNING FOR LOSERS

The kids and I bought the first season of Glee on DVD on Friday night and it consists of 13 episodes and we have already watched 9 of them. Way to ration ourselves, eh? It's been a really long time since I've gotten hooked on a TV show like this. I don't think Mythbusters and Dirty Jobs count, exactly. They're not the same kind of show. We missed the showing of the season on Swedish TV (which runs about 6 months behind the States) except for the last couple of episodes. I think the last TV show I was hooked on at this kind of level was The West Wing.

Enough about that! TV rots your brian. Also, your brian.

I was about ready to brain my daughter twice today. And then I was ready to scour the neighborhood searching for her, because I was afraid she'd run away because we'd had a fight and I yelled at her. First, she crawled into bed with me this morning at 5 a.m. and, accidentally, I'm sure, since she KNOWS BETTER, woke me up. I couldn't get back to sleep and man am I grouchy when I get woken up and can't get back to sleep and then have to work all day and then have to do, well, anything.

Actually, I am pretty amazed that this is the first time, in the 6 weeks my husband has been gone since the year began (and okay, one of those weeks she was WITH him, but still, he's been GONE FOR SIX WEEKS, and okay, granted, not all in a row, but STILL), that she has climbed in bed with me. That's practically a miracle! This is the kid who asks every single night if I can lie down with her when she goes to bed. Every single night! Sometimes I say yes, but I swear, it drives me crazy. Because I just want her to go to bed already, so I can unwind before I go to bed. And sometimes I say yes but only for a minute and she's okay with that. And sometimes I say no and then I hate myself for hours because someday she's hopefully probably going to stop asking and I'll be SAD about it, because I too can be a completely irrational being and because my baby won't need me anymore and she'll get her co-sleeping jones with a boyfriend instead, and AAGH la la la la. But sometimes I say yes.

Anyfreaking way, where the hell was I? She woke me up. At 5 a.m. So I've been a little manic all day, running on not enough sleep and I have that sort of achey feeling right now under my eyes, and I had told her before school this morning to please ask one of her soccer buddies if she could ride with them to practice (only it's not really practice, it's running for 2km out in the military training zone where the cows roam free with the tanks...oh, don't even ask, just go with it) and she said she would, and when I called her later to check in and see that she was doing her homework instead of playing WoW or Star Wars Battlefront or GreenLife Emerald whatever-the-sims, I also double-checked, did she ask if she could ride with someone and yes, she had and could, hooray, I don't have to figure out how to get out to the tank/cow zone. Excellent.

Hung up, finished working, drove home, fixed dinner and then chivvied her into her training suit and shoes and waterbottle and get out the door, they'll be here any minute to pick you up, only they WEREN'T and then she said well I can't remember what he said and maybe I didn't exactly ASK them and I don't know and I lost my temper and yelled at her. The kid she was supposed to be riding with lives in our neighborhood, so GO WALK UP THERE and see if they are home! Only she wouldn't go and then I got even madder because how am I supposed to win the Worst Mother in the World Award if I don't give it my all? So I yelled some more and said GO NOW and find out if they are going to drive and don't come back inside until you DO!!

So then she slammed the door and I assumed she was finally going up to his house only she didn't come back and it started to get dark and I finally calmed down enough to think a little more rationally. And after half an hour I thought, hmm...she's just mad and went to a friend's house. Only she wasn't at Emilia's and she wasn't at Henrik's and there wasn't any answer at Jonatan's (the one she was supposed to ride with). So I paced around the house, peering out the windows, and went outside and looked up and down the street and back in again. And wondered if I should go for a walk and look for her. And then I thought, well maybe they DID pick her up and maybe I should wait to really freak out until she would be home anyway if she HAD been picked up and sure enough, right on time, she walked in the door, and I said "Where have you been?" and she said, surprised, "Running" and I said, "Oh. So they did pick you up" and she said, with a sniff for their disregard for punctuality, "Yes, but not until ten minutes before we were supposed to be there," and I felt really bad inside and let them watch 2 episodes of Glee.

For all you mothers out there who can't possibly win that Award now: you're welcome.

And then they got ready for bed, and I kissed them both goodnight and she didn't ask me if I would lie down with her. But I think I will go surprise her right now.

The end.
Tags: karinbean, littlemisssunshine
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