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FAR-AWAY HEART
Feeling torn, feeling worn, wanting to write here but feeling as if my heart and head are elsewhere. Would I had the money and time to fly across the ocean even if just to BE there, to do what I could to help, even knowing that nothing I could do will help. Thank you all for your kind words. And thank you, thinkum for a really concrete way to BE there for my friend.

I've spent the weekend staring at my children, hugging them a little too hard, talking to my mom, my husband, my brother and sister, writing letters and cards, sending flowers and birthday gifts, my head not really here. I took the kids to the movies with my cousin Cate and her daughter on Saturday and even did some shopping. I've spent the weekend on autopilot, too: reading a book and a half, napping, doing laundry, doing dishes, vacuuming and picking up. It's amazing what you can get done even when you're not really lending your conscious mind to your actions.

This is going to be a travelin' year. In addition to the 6 weeks that Anders has already been gone, he has at least 2 more trips this spring to Italy, and a 3-week trip to Shanghai in the fall. I have two 2-week trips planned for the fall, one to Boston and one to (!) Singapore. We are planning a 4-week vacation to the States in the early summer and, possibly, a 1-week vacation to Italy in the fall. There will apparently be no time or energy for house projects this year. Crazy times.

I have never been closer to Asia than Istanbul, and despite the veritable plethora of sightseeing opportunities on the eastern side of the globe, it's never really registered high on my list of places to go (except Australia). So, planning a work trip to Singapore has me in a bit of a tizzy. I know nothing about the place, what to expect, what to beware of, what to plan for, what to do while I'm there when I'm not actually working.

It's dark out now. All day the winds blew and the clouds rolled by. It's been chilly and grey and there are still a few snowscabs lying low, clinging to the yard. My hands ache. My heart, too.

Perfect Life Icing on the Top Belated Birthday Wishes to brief_therapy and to Amy Today!
sad
mood: sad
music: Martin's Sims making stupid noises


Comments
From Megsie

Oh, Liz. I know just how your feeling. And there really isn't anything you can do. I haven't been able to focus on much either. Your travel list makes my head hurt. Wow. Will you be home at all, or just for pit stops to pack for the next plane?!

Sending you big hugs and a smooch. So sorry for your loss.

Re: From Megsie

I know you do, and your kind comments do make a difference. I'm so sorry for your loss as well. Too much heartache going down. :(

Hi there Liz. Sending (((HUGS))) and holding you and your best friend in my heart and thoughts. Today I will light a candle for you. I'll have to look back at your previous post to see what that concrete way of being there for your friend was.

As for the travel. WOW is about all I can say. And WOW again. That's a whole lotta pondhopping going on. I hope you will thoroughly enjoy it all.

I wish there was a way I could transplant myself inside YOU for a day and go hug her for real on Friday at the memorial service.

A friend of mine just spent a couple of weeks working in Singapore. He mostly relaxed during his few hours of spare time, but squeezed in some sightseeing and shopping. He was a little grumpy for his flight home took 26 hours including many hours of wait.

October 2018
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