zird is the word (lizardek) wrote,
zird is the word
lizardek

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OUT OF FOCUS

Mostly my focus isn't here. It's at work or within. It's on the cloud cover and the chilly temps, on the tiny hard green cherries on the cherry tree and on whether or not the baby rosebushes are thriving. It's on Eurovision or was, this past weekend; therefore on bad costume choices and bad Balkan pop and stage crashers and a surprising amount of decent songs and how much more relaxing it was to watch the show without worrying about how Sweden was doing since they didn't make it the Final this year anyway.

I feel a little disconnected, mostly from myself. I don't seem to have my usual motivation or temper. There's a weird current of uneasiness moving through me these days and there seems to be a still center where I'm just sitting, listening, waiting for whatever it is that's supposed to happen next.

Even the upcoming trip hasn't fired me. It's too early to start packing, even too early to start organizing, though several of the big to-do items have actually been crossed off my list.

I don't know exactly what it is I'm waiting for.

Tomorrow Anders and I will have been married for 14 years. We don't usually exchange gifts or anything. Heck, most years, we're lucky if we remember it on the right day! And he and the kids have Scouts tomorrow evening so maybe we'll have to plan something for the weekend instead, or wait until we're in the States. We can show the kids where we got married, maybe! At least we'll take them to some of our old favorite restaurants.

I know I haven't been a very good blogger lately. At some point, I'll be re-focused. Probably when the sun comes out and hits me with her searing eye.

Singity Songity Happity Birthidy Wishes to jes6ica!
Tags: beinglizardek
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