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CIRCULAR
It's colder out than I want it to be. Not window-scraping weather, yet, but I can feel it's coming. Geese are flying in v-formations low across the sky. Recently, there was a lazy circle of storks flying over our neighborhood. They looked so weird, alien, almost. Then they turned in unison and flew north. The storks we have here were supposed to be raised and then released to migrate to Africa each winter. Instead they stay. Every stork I see reinforces a feeling of wonder about where I live.

It's crazy season. Can you feel how fast everything is going? The leaves are speeding from the trees and each morning I simply want to burrow deeper into my duvet nest but the insistent alarm drags me up almost before I have time to rebel. It's all linear and circular at the same time. Moving forward through the year, and spiraling around. Here comes winter, holidays, Christmas, a seasonal shift; ending and beginning all over again.

Time to reflect is what I lack most right now. Instead, I'm jumping from one rock to the next, trying simply to keep my balance as I cross my days. There are papers strewn haphazardly across the desk. Books lie spine-cramped on the footstool, on the side table, on the arm of the sofa. I haven't written my family in...days? weeks? too long, obviously. I haven't called my friends. I haven't stopped by and said hello. Hello!

Mostly, I'm peering past the present. It's a failing I've long fallen victim to: living in the future when I should be savoring the now. I stop and slow and turn. Around again, and look: there! My children have grown again. My house needs cleaning. There! Something needs to be done. Something else needs to be done, too. I turn around and turn around again, and there is always something waiting on the other side.
tired
mood: tired
music: buzzy fuzzy static head


Comments

when i read the "C word" (Christmas) i could hear the voice in my head go, "NOOOOOO!" (though hard to imagine since it's 102 as i type this.) :) take your own advice...slow down...enjoy THIS moment. it'll all get cleaned and read and done. those kiddos are only gonna be this age once. give yourself a not-doing break...and just BE (with your family). xo

Yes, but that's the thing...it won't all get cleaned and read and done if I don't do it...and it just gets worse if I slow down too much. *sigh*

From Megsie

Hello! I also want to cuddle under warm covers and let the world go by. We can always dream, right? Thanks for the comment :) xo right back at you!

Re: From Megsie

Dreaming is what I do best! (apart from sleeping, of course!)

(Anonymous)
Joy here

We still have a month until Halloween! A whole month! HAAA Is there any comfort in that?

I look forward to the day I have a wonderment for where I live... not happening right now. :( I have to tell you of a bit of hope (here). Is that I am actually recognizing the lack. And that maybe (?) I can do something about it... tiny, tiny hope...

Re: Joy here

There must be SOME wonderment about where you live, surely? And Halloween is ZOOMING at us, can't you see it coming! DUCK!

(Anonymous)
Re: Joy here

Second things first! Halloween is NOT zooming towards us! I will not let it! HAAA

First things last! There is wonderment here but not wonderment in me here. Or maybe I should say, wonderment of me being here. Right now it just feels I am out of sync with the wonderment... I mean it is wonderful here but I am all mixed up still.

I had to scrape my windows this morning. I don't like that. But Fall is nice.

Still not yet...but they're covered with water every morning now...dun dun dun dun!

(Anonymous)

I like the concept of linear yet circular.

-Heather

It takes a line to make a circle! :D

"Time to reflect is what I lack most right now. Instead, I'm jumping from one rock to the next, trying simply to keep my balance as I cross my days. "

I'm feeling quite a bit this way too. And yet, when I have a little time, like in the evening, I seem to be frittering it away instead of reflecting. I'm having fun with all this rock jumping, but I think I'm on overload, even with fun.

As far as Christmas, there are only 84 days... *hehehee

even less now, EEK!

You have such a gift for describing the everyday, Liz! This phrase -- "Books lie spine-cramped..." -- was absolutely perfect, and I know just what you mean. I tend to feel spine-cramped when my books do, which is always when fall hits the ground running. At least we'll get an extra hour as a Halloween present from the gods of Daylight Savings! I hope time slows down for you before then though, before you get dizzy.

(P.S. - I updated everything on my blog, and OpenID seems to be working beautifully. Hopefully, it will accept your comments now. ::fingers crossed::)

I'm scared to trust OpenID now, it's swallowed so many comments. I hope it has a commentache!

August?!? You're not that much further north of us!

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I can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.

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